is I can wear my FBI clothes and pretend that I’m a reluctant undercover FBI agent. i’ve got my black FBI undershirt with the seal, a radio with an ear piece, sunglasses, and a black hat that says FBI. i like costumes where you dont have to explain to people who you are.

someone flowed me the latest Thor Garcia novel and i’m a really slow reader but i’m totally savoring this book. i blazed through 75 pages of Ham on Rye and I had to put it down because Tund had not only arrived, it had arrived. Tund is a masterwork and i’m not exaggerating. it sits on your lap and it snickers at you as you read along. it repeats itself because it knows what needs to be repeated. it takes its time, it works it out, it swaggers down the street and looks people in the eye because it knows better, it understands. it gets it. fuck. im always amazed at what Senior Garcia can do with the thesaurus and it’s always funny as hell.

hard to believe that the best american novels this year can only be found in Australia and the Czech Republic, but life is funny like that. not funny ha-ha. well, sorta funny ha-ha. i had a better ending to today’s story about the goth chick but what can you do.

usually the end of October depresses me, but even MJ coming back rusty and not perfect couldnt get me down. im a lucky boy. this old lady said good morning to me. this other old lady was singing at the bus stop. it rained yesterday and washed out a lot of the crap and you can really tell today. even gorgeous cities like Hollywood need a little wash down every 180 days or so and yesterday we got ours.

im giving blood today after lunch.

169,000 hits this month. Thanks siliconvalley.com, thanks www.liberation.fr, thanks http://blackholebrain.editthispage.com/2001/10/18, thanks matt, ken, ashley, emmanuelle, greg, amy, scripting.com, thanks tallahasseedemocrat.com, booknotes.com, 16thstreet.net, network54.com, http://www.elanceur.com/, dumbmonkey, http://environy.weblogger.com/2001/10/16, boingboing, http://www.ripthebag.com/blog/, and everyone else that helped out on the hits. it’s much appreciated. seriously.

home.

i cant tell you what i did last night cuz im sorta ashamed.

all i can say is Gibby from the Butthole Surfers was there and this kid named Ditch from mass.

and Christina Aguelera was doing shots like it aint no thing.

and i swear i havent done acid in more than a decade.

Henry Winkler was born today. Heeeeeey!

P.S. to all the kids who wrote to ashley saying things like Tony = Bad, you don’t know how right you are. but dont get cocky.

to Amy who sent me one of my favorite books ever off my wishlist. i hardly ever read books anymore but i will re-read this book and provide a nice book report soon. Literary Kicks has a couple of chapters typed out for you.

Also let me thank JT, MR, E, JC, BB, and JM who chosen to give me at least a buck for a car. Muchas gracias! We’re up to $204, babies!

My man from PeopleSupport drove up in a brand new Mustang convertible and it was so strange because it’s exactly the one in the picture. Turns out he has all this access to glass tobacco pipes. If you think that you’d be interested in seeing some of these crrrrazy pipes, email me. Some may even wind up for sale.

It’s almost Christmas. Nobody wants sweaters.

i could set up some little operation like putting ads on the site like T-Shirt Hell.

Their shirts are reasonably priced, and I get $5 for each shirt you get, so load up, peoples. And if you want to sell them on your site, that’s cool too.

on wednesday night, so i was planning on getting a bunch of sleep last night when my buddy Chris called me on my secret phoneline to tell me that the guy that details his car totally gave him some primo laker tickets. since im only about 6 subway stops away from Staples, i said hell yeah. it’s really interesting how relaxing a preseason basketball game is. maybe it was the good company. we’re really good friends after all these years, even if we only talk to each other every now and then. maybe it’s cuz we both live such simple, quiet lives.

lots of fake boobs in the good seats and lots of people with the fake boobs who cover them up and walk fast up the aisles when it becomes obvious that hundreds of spectators are checking out the silicone. ive never understood this. you spend thousands, you wear low-cut clothes, your things are well beyond double-d, you’re sitting practically courtside – why are you suddenly embarrased because guys named Tony are looking at you as opposed to guys named Kobe?

best sign at Staples was on the cool bar right next to the beer taps: 24 oz Corona $10. it looked like someones kid printed it out from a bubble printer. i wondered if the sign was an advertisment, an apology or a warning. i considered it a disappointment. i consider that business gouging. i know we’re all cash money millionaires enjoying the pimplife, but let’s try to not be so tacky. the price on the tickets that we held said $78. parking was $15, needless to say the few kids that i saw in our section – surprise – were all on their cell phones. one kid had a Troy Aikmen jersey. life is nuts.

that really is Seal courtside next to the laker girls.

i got to sleep around 3am last night, if you’re scoring at home. and if you are, congratulations.

my pics from the wedding | home

im glad to be out and about. of course my alarm wasnt set so i woke up late, got to work late, what can you do.

my boss asked me who im gonna be rooting for in the world series, i dont think i could ever see myself rooting for the Yankees. it’s nice that New York is in the spotlight for the series but i hope they get swept. its a bummer that mark grace wont be able to play much in the series but i hope he gets a world series ring, he totally deserves it. if a guy like him isnt going to be re-signed by the Cubs in his last years, i hope he gets his ring, he was a loyal Cub and only deserves the best.

me and ashley got into a fight last night. i hate fighting. shes in love with her ex and we should all wish her well cuz she only deserves the best.

tonight i will go work out at the gym like a yuppie, i hope to graduate from curling the 15 pound dumbbells to the 20 pounders.

for the record, no matter what i say about mexico in the upcoming week, i get terrified when i leave the safety of the united states of america. ask chris, who was my copilot during the whole mexican adventure. mr. calm is not so when he cannot dazzle them with bs when they dont speak english. yes you can smile at the mamacitas but when army guys with machine guns at checkpoints and coppers driving B-210s are at every turn, it can frazzle this man of steel.

never have i yearned to be in San Diego so much as when we were lost in Tecate. but you should know that there is no one better to be lost south of the border with than Chris.

ken’s sister took tons of pictures of her trip to Baja, including pics of the wedding, the reception, and the allstar jam/dance party that followed. home | email

and i am squeezing the last few minutes of my birthday extended weekend vacation out to the very last drop. i guess that means that i wont truly be updating my main page.

life will go on, trust me.

to the left is an overhead shot of the sweet grassy area where ken and laura got hitched. we’re actually on a little cliff that overlooks the pacific in baja, mexico. it was one of the most beautiful settings i have ever seen for a wedding. this year i have seen some fucking gorgeous weddings. don and jen got married at the presido in frisco, amy and video guy and sandy all got hitched in santa barbara. and now this. i have the greatest friends and when they get married, it seems that they all know how to do it.

i’ll get more into later, but it was very cool. me and the ex- stayed at this golf resort about 20 minutes south of rosarito. though it would have been better to be partying with all of our friends, we made due with the nearly abandoned resort. i have learned to cope with my lot in life, which is to apparently be surrounded by the best people ever. as chris and i drove along the breathtaking views along the highway on sunday i asked her, “do you know how lucky we are, do you know how much God has blessed us?” and she said, “you’re not kidding.”

we ate fish tacos at a stand, we bought a lot of crap, we crossed the border, drove home while listening to Lovelines, watched Drew’s “Riding in Cars With Boys” on my birthday (Monday), ate at M & M’s and Zancau Chicken. we saw movie stars. and then she dropped me off and a few hours later i got to see rock stars – Tsar in Silverlake. way too much good stuff. im overwhelmed. im very grateful.

thanks to everyone who sent me cards, emails, nice thoughts. all your positivity has made this birthday go down smooth, which isnt easy. and i got an email from a girl that i had a crush on when i was a sophomore in high school. will it never end?!

while i hit the road and find myself. jim rome goes into the basement to recharge, i go to mexico. i love america a hundred per cent and the best part of southern california is baja california, which, if we were smart, we’d trade for kansas and nebraska since the mexicans want to come here so bad, and we want to go there so much.

but life isnt fair.

it’s cool.

check back on the blog from time-to-time, cuz if there is a magical mexican connection, or someone with a wireless computer, i will write to you, but dont count on it. and hopefully sonny will tape all those cool benefit shows that will be going down, and he’ll take the mail outta the mailbox, but i doubt it. i know he’ll read the papers, which woulda piled up without him, but im sure he’ll leave a mess, so im not even gonna clean up before i leave. isnt that rude of me? yeah, whatever.

little known fact: not many rentacar places want their cars being driven south of the border.

ok, my birthday is monday: send your cards and letters to: heytony@hotmail.com, and if you wanna stoke a brotha, buy me a car, or, if you must, something from my wishlist, but your readership is plenty, trust me.

and if you’re one of the 700 french people who came here yesterday off of the article that Emmanuelle wrote: hola!

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