I’ve lived 108 years. I’ve climbed every mountain, flipped off every asshole, and kissed all the pretty girls I ever yearned for. My sole regret was not joining my Daily Nexus friends to Prauge (back when it was in Czechoslovakia) and helping them start and run their glorious newspaper Prognosis. While I worked for billion dollar electronics companies, they grew their hair long, starved, wiped their asses with teeney squares of toilet paper, froze, and basically had the times of their lives.

All the big time media outlets documented their stories and ten years ago Details wrote this very nice long peice about them.

For all the kids who read this page, learn from my mistakes, the billion dollar companies will do fine without you, never miss an opportunity to change the world with your pals.