Eminem sold close to 300,000 units. feel like a slacker now?

RIAA, still hate file-swapping? you shouldnt, fucking babies.

here’s two separate reasons which explain why im without a sweetheart.

and finally in today’s briefs, the FBI can now monitor web sites. so long privacy and free speech, hello G-men!

actually some of my most voracious readers are from the government.

hi.

and boy have they been “monitoring” this anna coverage.

the miss universe pageant was held last night, and i covered it here.

now let’s read a letter. by the way, thank you to all the nice people who have left or will leave nice notes in the comments section. your words mean a bunch to me, so muchas gracias!

Dear Tony,

What does it mean when something is described as “ticky-tack“? Is that some kind of athlete’s code for “tacky”?

Signed,

Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,

excellent question! for some reason i thought this was common terminology.

i would say ticky-tack is typically used when talking about a foul in basketball or a penalty in football when the athlete is being punished for a physical act that isnt really as violent as the foul might suggest.

in the playoffs, especially in a close game near the end of the game, it would be called “ticky-tack” if a player barely hit his opponent. if it is called early in the game the ref is sending a message to both teams that he doesnt want very physical play, but at the end of the game a wussy foul call would be called ticky-tack.

there is generally a given cushion of physicality that each team assumes is okay even though it might technically be a foul — but in the super-fast nature of playoff basketball, of course one man is going to touch another man (which is technially a foul) but no one expects to be called on that.

so when Shaq got a foul charged against him in the last minutes of the game for just swiping his big paw in the general vicinity of lil mike bibby, that would be ticky tack as compared to a man slapping another man’s elbow while the first man was shooting.

since players can only have 6 fouls before they are fouled out of the game, in the playoffs, each foul should be obvious. glancing grazes should not be whistled.

keep rocking!

the original miss universe from russia, anna kournikova, sported a yellow sleeveless adidas tennis outfit instead of the white top/blue shorts combo that i have been pleading with her to wear since she played so well in it early this spring.

why she chose to take this risk at the all-important French Open in Paris yesterday is beyond me.

stubbornness?

pride?

arrogance?

ignorance?

indeed it may have been rooted in cockiness, of all things, since Anna was pitted against wildcard seed Christina Wheeler of Australia who no one thought could make it out of the first round in the grand slam event.

underestimating her competition in the biggest tournament she has played in since her scandelous nude penthouse lawsuit craziness would seem beyond our lovely anna since she hasnt won a tournament, ever.

but the drought continues as Miss Kournikova lost handilly 6-4, 6-3 to the aussie and to the utter disappointment of her loyal and ever-so patient fans.

and even though im pissed that she didnt win or listen to my advice, i must admit that she looked cute as hell in that yellow.

especially since it matched her shoes!

when i was a kid i lost on “thorough”.

more symbolic than you think.

on one hand i look at these kids and im sorry for them cuz they look like theyre going through so much pain, but then on the other hand you look at these kids and they’re not jocks, theyre not politicians, theyre not rockers, this is their one moment of glory, and when was the last time you were on ESPN?

semi-new hot chick came over to my house last night.

shes been doing that a lot lately.

tonight we’re going to go to see Elvis Costello at the new Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland – where they had the Academy Awards this year.

then we’re not gonna fool around any more.

two weeks, and just like that, over.

if i was in control of any of this, you’d all call me names like womanizer, etc., words that i doubt they’ll use during today’s Bee.

instead, since im pretty much the victim of all of this, the correct spelling would be l-o-s-e-r.

the only difference between me and these 12 year olds is i dont have on khaki’s, a polo shirt, or the brainpower to spell.

but tomorrow night, just like them, i will go to sleep alone.

serotinal

can you use serotinal in a sentence please?

“enjoy the happy smiles given by the hotties here at the end of the spring, dumbass, because youre about to hit the serotinal flipside.”

s-e-r-o-t-i-n-a-l.

ding.