she called to tell me that she had a good time in vegas, she met a boy, she kissed him, he kissed her back, he needed a ride to anaheim for a big shindig his church group was putting on, he plays guitar, hes her age, he knows some of her best friends…

and the rendevous that she planned with me that could have happened yesterday, but was ixnayed, and that could have happened tonight now has a relatively low percentage of happening.

am i bummed out?

yes.

am i surpised?

no.

ashley is a wonderful girl who has a lot more to offer than just a smile that will light up a room. we’ve been super close for going on a year and a half now and she was there when i needed her the most.

shes got terrific friends, great sisters, and an energy that is unmatched.

she has never failed to make me feel incredibly special and super lucky. to her, our age difference was never an issue. even though she says that she never thought that she would ever date a centenarian, she says that i am the exception to pretty much all rules.

i will miss her a great deal.

next to me, not one person has been mentioned or featured on this blog or on my site more than she. regardless of what anyone says about their being more of her on here or less, without her and without her influence on me, this whole thing would be quite different, and i cant say it would be better.

i wish her the best of luck with her man.

in other news, i found $60 in a book this morning.

if this were isla vista, i’d buy a keg.

maybe i’ll buy one anyway.

until the “laser” is pointed at them.

i can understand that.

im a huge George Carlin fan. I think he’s brilliant. But i wince whenever he attacks religion, especially Christianity.

But if i stood up at his concert and started yelling at him when he made those cracks, i’d look like an imbecile.

Perhaps I should say, i’d look like *more* of an imbecile, because his act, just like this blog, is a means for one man to express himself in public for the entertainment of a crowd.

Nothing will be accomplished on this page, trust me, no matter how long i continue to keep this thing afloat.

Just like no lives have been changed at The Laugh Factory, i seriously doubt that any beliefs, attitudes, or habits will be changed from reading my unlearned diatribes.

at best, i get flowed some greenbacks, or perhaps a young girl will want to do me.

c’est la vie.

I talk out of my ass and i do it better than most of the jackholes who get paid to do it on fishwrap across the country which is why a few of you are here.

check the facts? what facts? the facts are i have opinions, i state them during the 15 minute breaks that the government requires all workers to have, then i go back to my fascinating life of grading jewels here in my rodeo drive diamond shop.

i hardly doubt that any serious lawmakers even pay much attention to intelligent ideas that are formulated on this information bathroom wall that we call the web.

and why should they?

we continue to vote for these charlatans.

best thing i ever did was vote for Nader. not because it sent a message to anyone, but just like quitting smoking, it got me out of the habit of following the status quo of punching the hole that Tom Brokaw and all the other rich white men talk about on my beloved television. for a brief moment i thought for myself and said, Bush is a fucking idiot and Gore? fuck him too.

and then i thought about sex and then i remembered why i was there and then i punched the hole that said Nader.

and i was free.

the comments section of this blog are here for the readers to tell me how amazing i am, and for them to ask qualifying questions. it really isnt there for people to disagree with me or for others to spout off their points of view. do that on your own boring blogs.

but, i am a proud American. i was born in washington d.c. for pete sake. and even though Voltaire was a terrible french commie non-believer, he did say something that i agree with, something along the lines of “i disagree with what you say, but i will defend to the death your right to say it.”

which is why i rarely ban people from leaving whatever comment they choose to leave.

something the FCC doesn’t have the guts to do. which is why they suck, and why i disagree with the conservatives who support them. i think people can read something that they disagree with, or find ugly, or find offensive, or ugly, or stupid, or retarded or whatever, and not be scarred.

as someone who likes to write things down, i believe that words have a tad bit of power, but only if the reader wants there to be power there.

dumbshits will never have power, which is why our president is getting his ass handed to him by enemies foreign and domestic.

and since my break is about over, i will close by saying that the only way that i will ban people from leaving comments is if they either reveal personal information of someone who would not like that made public, or if they continue to be totally ridiculous.

more ridiculous, that is, than me.

for just like in many arenas, in that one, i too am king.

and im always happy when i can fulfill a request.

last night me and jeanine went over to my old college roommate’s beautiful home in venice to celebrate his 25th birthday.

one of the party-goers brought a couple of bottles of Absinthe of which i had a shot to see what all the who-ha was about.

from what i remember, the drink was a favorite among famous artists and writers from Hemingway to Van Gogh and even thought both of those giants ended up a wee bit insane, what a better price for art, so i put the sugar on the spoon, dipped it into the elixir, set it aflame and let it drip into the glass and toasted the birthday boy and his lovely wife.

tasted like Vicks 44.

jeanine helped finish off the blue bottle, which was quite popular at the bash and i understood that although it is not available in america, it is for sale in the Czech Republic. so, if any of my good friends from that region of this planet would be nice enough to send me a bottle or two, please email me and i will be happy to pay for the mysterious drink as well as postage, etc.

last night, unfortunately, i found myself being jeanine’s designated driver.

although i did hope that my one shot would bring me the vivid dreams that all the websites promised, but alas, just like every other night, i experienced no dreams.

it could be because i am a smoker.

i don’t smoke very much. a few puffs each day. but that habit has strangely influenced my nocturnal visualizations and despite popular believe, i do not dream, something that is quite fine with me.

however, recently i have read some blogs of people who i admire and empathize with who also have habits that they are trying — some quite successfully — to kick in the name of their own health.

i have great admiration for these people as will power is something that each of us struggle with.

and because of their courage, specifically their openness to discuss their issues publicly via their blogs, i will join them in my dirtiest habit, that of smoking.

and as of today, i will quit for a month, my stupid little puffs, that really do nothing for me a this point, but it is something that ive done for over 6 years, and it is something that makes me quite angry whenever i am without.

solidarity, brothers and sisters!