i love winona ryder so much

ive loved her since “Beetlejuice.” who doesn’t love the dark sad goth girls who pout and write poetry and wait for death?

i don’t care who she has gone to bed with, i don’t care what rock bands she’s ruined, i don’t care how many yawner films she’s made, i don’t care if she stole the entire saks fifth avenue, but i am a little saddened that she shops there. i always thought she was a bit more hip.

but i do care that she seems to have the worst advisors around her.

first of all, what the fuck is happening that we are still mired in this court case? i have yet to see any film footage of her putting things into a bag and walking off.

but i do see a bag in her hand this morning as she is walking in the courtroom, and i know the jury isn’t there, but if i was her lawyer i would tell winona that i never want to see a bag or purse or anything larger than my phone number in her hand until after the case is over.

are there no brothas on her defense team?

Black people know about going into a store and having all eyes on you as you shop. what you do is you keep your hands where everyone can see them, you carry a basket, you don’t ever reach in your pockets unless you are about to pull out your wallet and you do not go anywhere with a huge bag unless you want people to assume that you’re putting things in it.

ashley has her good and bad points and i love how affectionate she can be but she loves to hug me while we’re grocery shopping and i have to keep reminding her that if i was suspicious of anyone it would be of two people hugging in the cereal aisle. couldn’t be an easier way to slip something down the back of someone’s loose trousers than during a warm embrace.

we all are hoping that winona is innocent. and right now i think most people think she didn’t do it. but there is that shadow of a doubt that is looming right next to her and what she needs to do is lose that huge fucking bag and never be seen with one again until this case is dismissed.

she doesnt need a purse in court. if she wants to carry a little compact, put it in a blazer pocket right next to the lipstick. let the lawyers carry everything else in their briefcase even though they should be the ones accused of theft since they’re obviously keeping this trial going so that they stay in the public eye and keep racking up billable hours.

so since you’re paying them, honey, have them lug your shit around.

thank you very much, that will be twelve thousand dollars.

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