(Costello)

Who’s this kid with his mumbo jumbo

Living in air-conditioned limbo

Though they treat him just like a guest

He’s living under threat of arrest

Now that he’s finally trying to make some sense

He drinks in self-defense

Give me temptation

The subtle touch of authority will

Take you anytime down to the station

You say that it’s alright by me

Now you’re living with the curse of sophistication

Now that you’re shackled up to the rigmarole

With absolute control

I see you lying so wide awake

After I’ve given you all that you can take

So for heaven’s sake

Give me temptation

Still you want to succeed so badly

Finding your life will not be deadly

You tell me you can take it or leave it

Sometimes I think that you really believe it

You’re just itching to break her secret laws

As you go from claws to clause

Give me temptation

but she’ll come back soon.

i know, baby, in a way shes my best friend too. i know shes your doubles partner. but shes sorta my doubles partner also.

life isnt the circumstances that happen to you, its how you handle those circumstances. so dont cry. not here. not in front of everyone.

shhh shhh shhh.

it’s okay.

youre both young and talented and rich and cocky and youre good for each other. i have no idea why you let her date guys like enrique even if it is a joke, but the joke has lasted long enough and if you wanted to get me jealous im jealous. i want her back as much as you do.

dont you think i want to make money off her ass too?

lets play a game martina. in her honor. it’ll be like a russian drinking game.

every time you miss her you take a shot of vodka.

or write a nice letter, or do twenty push ups, or pop in a tape a naughty tape. and then call me.

in fact why dont you do all those things in that order every time you miss her.

i know shes your best friend, but thats not really cheating.

the phone? please. you cant cheat over the phone, plus im not really her boyfriend.

technically enrique is her boyfriend. phhhhhttttttttthhhhhhh.

so go back to your game now, baby.

she’ll be back soon and she’ll be back better than ever.

i promise you.

3rd leg

on the new quentin tarantino film that just happens to be filimg in marc’s garage. the same garage that moxie let me park her porsche halloween night.

did i tell you how ridiculously skinny that girl is? how tall those white patent leather boots were. how all the bums and crackheads of echo park just froze when she strutted down the street in her pink dress and the weis-ster on her arm?

everything revolves around marc though, you should start to learn this.

if the mc hadnt been the music director at kcsb in 89 grunge woulndta never happened and kurdt might still be alive.

speaking of which theres a girl who works here who has eyes like courtney that drives me crazy. she saw me in my baseball pants yesterday and i caught her taking a second look. i thought about asking for her number and then didnt go for it. then thought how cool it would have been to ask for a girls number while wearing a cubs hat and pinstriped baseball pants.

guess i’ll have to wait for that opportunity next week.

lets hope shes not married to a guitar god by then.

speaking of one degree of marc brown, he did the design for rupauls blog. and rupaul has recently seen “bowling for colunbine” and puts it on his top ten list for the year. which makes me wonder why siskel didnt partner up with ru when he was looking to fill gene’s seat.

it also reminds me that i really need to get that public access cable show “Bloggers” going and have ru be the weekly special guest star.

as in weekly.

since im thinking, i was thinking, why hasnt someone made an IMDB for music? all music guide is good, but it could be improved by like, a lot.

then i was thinking that theres not one all-encompassing place for entertainment news. like an Entertainment blog. some one might want to call it an E Blog.

hmmm.

then i was thinking that i love sksmiths writing. if she wrote a book i would buy it. i bet she could write a book pretty fast.

write a book, sksmith

ony’s oversleeping. if he had simply installed a little peice of software in his computer it could Tivo for his ass, it could run the stereo into his bedroom, it could turn on the lights for him, and it could be his alarm clock in the morning.

instead all he has that box do is download porn he never watches.

thats your hero, america.

number fifty-five on the weblogs top one hundred today.

so i got nothing to say. im just a blog.

but i can lead you to places that you would probably like.

you might like this shit. it’s twisted and a little sick, but it’s funny.

moxie keeps wanting to put this picture up, lord knows why. i know why, you can look at it and ask, how does that guy get any?

this ive seen before, but it’s still funny.

now this is interesting. this is the Site Meter of those sorority girls. you people are perverts.

speaking of wrong. whats up with the major leauge all stars in japan? last night MLB won its first game against the japanese stars. that was their fourth game. and whats worse is a bunch of japanese stars have been in cuba for an international tournament. so my question is, how much did japan pay for mlb to throw these games?

this girl still hates tony, too bad she doesnt update more.

meesh doesnt hate tony, and she updated last night.

chelle’s halloween costume

look at all he gives you. i have a feeling that once he wakes up he might not post again until he gets ten quality comments for this love he’s showing you.

and finally, our boy has two tickets to the no doubt / garbage / distillers show at the long beach arena the day after thanksgiving. surely there must be a young woman who wants to pick him up, dressed sexilly, brimming with compliments, and dying to spend a little quality time with him.

or perhaps theres someone who wants to pay pal his ass $100 and the tickets are theirs. theyre floor seats. show up early and you’re in the front row.

metafilter discusses drudge getting a billion hits in a year

i’d speak in italics but thatd be annoying and those are his gimmicks, not mine.

tony is passed out, pissed that the los angeles parks department has had five days to take care of the softball fields of this fine county and hasnt done so and the xbi playoff game had to be postponed until next week.

he also was given the news that the xbi wasnt interested in a blog for their website, the job that he secretly has been applying for despite being handed the promotion to captain of chopper one, the finest, quietest, fastest, most deadly immoral black uber copter in the bureau.

blogs are considered amateurish, he was told.

and i say good. finally he can quit holding back in this blog. and if he wants to say fuck he’ll say fuck. if he wants to say raymi is one sexy bitch, he’ll say it.

raymi is my secret canadian love slave.

she cant keep her clothes on.

she likes you to see her naked.

shes funny but not in a cutesy way.

and no way in hell is she nuh nuh nuh nuh nineteen.

hey, nineteen.

tony holds back on you so much.

sometimes i wonder if his foot gets tired mashing that brake like all day.

this girl came over the other day and tricked him into having sex with her.

super pretty girl but that didnt matter she wanted it rough as in ouch bitch

maybe she’d been a stripper once cuz she whipped her hair around like a pro

kept trying to get the upper leg

sunk her teeth in, defied gravity, shape shifted, scratched, turned into a wolf at least eight times

how come he never told you even one thing about her?

and what about the one who sat on one end of the room and talked so dirty in such a sweet voice

and she lifted up her dress and

she said no you sit right there

even the music stopped the lights stopped twinkling the wood didnt dare squeak everyone wanted to watch this little whisp of a girl with her legs out like that and her eyes zeroed in on him and his eyes zeroed in on her lipglossed filthy mouth

she was saying things that he wished he’d said

things that still suprises him when she calls up now and then and reminds him

i bet he wasnt even going to tell you about what happened in the subway today at hollywood and highland which is a crying shame cuz if he doesnt tell you then who out of seven hundred and fifty thousand blogs is gonna tell you, hollywood and highland of course the new center of hollywood.

black dude comes out i swear to you with a boom box on his shoulder busting with the hip hop.

it’s jay-z’s the blueprint part two.

different black guy in a dress shirt and tie says is that part two

and they give each other the soul shake finished off with the one shoulder hug, pat on the back

boom box guy danced around clear wide tape holding in the eight d batteries gay asians saying to each other why doesnt he turn that trash down

third black dude cant believe what he’s hearing and neither can i

neptunes baby he tells us

no radios no eating no drinking no smoking says the signs everywhere

eight ten pm

fuck those fucking signs wheres the train no train then fuck you let the music play

he doesnt tell you about his old best friend in high school whose dad was mafia and whose girlfriend was generally considered the town slut.

do you have any idea what sort of life he leads? dont ever feel sorry for him. ever. greatest friends alive. hottest babes. funnest jobs. even his bad days are day dreams.

he doesnt tell you about half of the web sites he goes to or about any of the tv he watches or who he really emails and chats with and whats going on with him

and he acts all suprised that places like the la times are conservative when hes about ten times as conservative

and he doesnt have shit to lose cuz they wouldnta hired him anyhow and he has nothing and therefore he has everything.

everything you can take with you when you sleep.

raymi fucks the city