i just sat around the house and the phone didnt ring once.

no one told me they loved me, no one told them they missed me, no one told me they had a secret feeling toward me, no one bought a book from me, no one left any comments except raymi who is my new girlfriend, no one called me crying saying they yearned for my loins, no one said they had any dreams about me.

but i did get interviewed by Modern Black Webmaster and they asked me some really good questions.

mbw: who’s your audience?

me: me.

mbw: when do you do your best writing?

me: right before my morning jog.

mbw: what advice to you have to other young webmasters of color?

me: kiss more white girls.

mbw: are you always this sarcastic?

me: who’s being sarcastic?

mbw: what sort of computer do you use?

me: i have a 400mhz windows 2k box, underclocked to 375

mbw: thats insane.

me: i know, but it’s never let me down. im loyal.

mbw: whens the book coming out?

me: the printer says i should get it back from them around thanksgiving.

mbw: thats this week!

me: yep, but im not getting my hopes up. if i get it by 12/1 i’ll be happy.

mbw: how were sales?

me: insane.

mbw: will there be photo essays?

me: thats hard to do because those arent my pictures and i dont want Reuters asking for half my gross.

mbw: full color pictures of ashley.

me: dont count on it.

mbw: whats up with her, is she your girl?

me: depends on who you ask.

mbw: why are you playing with her heart?

me: hey, im the victim here.

mbw: if you could date one girl, who would it be?

me: anna kournikova. we’re the right signs.

mbw: whats the best movie youve seen this year?

me: 8 mile

mbw: whats the best cd youve heard?

me: jay z, blue print 2

mbw: have you seen “friday after next”?

me: hopefully i will this weekend.

mbw: who will you take?

me: probably ashley.

mbw: does she like ice cube?

me: no, but she likes me.

mbw: wanna make a shout out?

me: of course.

i have the hottest lawyer!