(smith)

i don’t care if monday’s blue

tuesday’s grey and wednesday too

thursday I don’t care about you

it’s friday I’m in love

monday you can fall apart

tuesday wednesday break my heart

thursday doesn’t even start

it’s friday I’m in love

saturday wait

and sunday always comes too late

but friday never hesitate…

i don’t care if monday’s black

tuesday wednesday heart attack

thursday never looking back

it’s friday I’m in love

monday you can hold your head

tuesday wednesday stay in bed

or thursday watch the walls instead

it’s friday I’m in love

saturday wait

and sunday always comes too late

but friday never hesitate…

dressed up to the eyes

it’s a wonderful surprise

to see your shoes and your spirits rise

throwing out your frown

and just smiling at the sound

and as sleek as a shriek

spinning round and round

always take a big bite

it’s such a gorgeous sight

to see you in the middle of the night

you can never get enough

enough of this stuff

it’s friday

i’m in love

stopheart

“i can’t believe you bust your ass interviewing totally young southern girls, and then getting an exclusive club review from paris hilton and you get one measly comment! this is a fucking outrage.”

winona was so mad she broke the italics button.

“what does a man have to do to get a little love in the blog world? dont they know you still have carpal tunnel? dont they know you’re trying to walk the path of the straight and narrow? dont they know that you are pounding the pavement up and down the mean streets of this city trying to find a copy shop or printer or publisher to knock out a few hundred copies of your Blook so you can deliver them before Christmas? Dont they know how you bust your ass for them?”

i pretty much sit on my ass, baby. its cool.

“it ISNT Cool! whats cool is after you write something if 70+ people commented. fucking Oish doesnt update for a week at a time and all her readers comment. same goes for pretty much everyone. why is it that they dont comment here? all they have to do is say ‘you fucking rule, tony, god i love you.’ but they dont. they take and they take and they take and they take.”

shoplifter, easy.

“yes, i take too. we all take in one form or another, but i give back. i make the movies for your asses. i pose for the photos for your asses. i was on SNL – which they tried to fuck me for in the sentencing today.”

assholes.

“fuckbrains. and now im gonna cough up about ten large and do 420 hours of community service.”

four hundred and how many?

“480. sorry. im just so pissed off. and whats the story with how people ride the bus in this town? i mean really.”

what are you talking about?

“oh, they took away my drivers liscense today at the hearing.”

how come?

“fuck if i know, i didnt run off in a car with their shit. i had a driver. hows a bitch supposed to work in this town without a drivers license. so i had to take the fucking bus home.”

where do you live?

“santa monica.”

so did you take the 4 from beverly hills down santa monica blvd?

“i got lucky and there was a 304 express.”

sweet.

“yeah. but this fuckwad– full bus, okay. this old fucking bitch is in the back of the bus. she pulls the string whatever to ring the bell, she walks all the way through people to the front of the bus to exit. WHORE! what does she think the back door is for?”

please, dont tempt me.

“it’s for getting off, bitch.”

thats a better line than i was thinking.

“i dont know how you do it tony. you ride with all these morons, then you bust on the blog and you get no respect.”

yeah. hmmm. yeah.

“i wish there was something i could do for you.”

i think youve done enough.

“i’d steal you a scarf but im sorta a marked woman.”

its all good.

“and i bet you’d look great in burberry.”

its the thought that counts, winona. now go out there and make mr. deeds 2 for me.

“what are you doing tonight, tony?”

i have a date.

“what about tomorrow?”

im gonna watch the OU game.

“wanna watch it at my house?”

ok.

“bring your swim trunks. i have a hot tub.”

i cant seem to find my trunks, winona.

“even better.”

8. tonypierce.org

force the goose

is let you in on what is happening in hollywood. the city that i live in.

when i read blogs from around the world i like to hear whats going on in those towns.

i like it when people post pictures of their towns and include stories, and for the most part we do that here.

with that said, we present you with the first of what i hope to be many more reports from the glamorous clubs of tinsletown.

this morning, ms. paris hilton writes to us. ms. hilton was in town for Motorola’s annual Christmas party in west hollywood.

afterwards she went to the newest and most happening club in hollywood, Club Ivar on the incredible Hollywood Blvd.

tony.

got into the ivar.

used my girlie charms which i have put on reserve for years.

liz & i walked up to the vip line and some lady said you need to go to the other door and get bracelets. we smiled at the bouncer at the door and he said “no they don’t. you girls can come right in.” so we smiled and said “how bout us plus four????” and he winked and said ‘sure’.

it is not all it is cracked up to be. but they were giving out free red bulls & vodka’s for some crazy reason. and there were rumored to be free margaritas too.

there is a 2nd part of the club where you have to pay to get in. $20. and you cannot wink your way through that. bob saget said we could get in for free, but then they still said no. it was quite bizarre. what was bob saget doing at the ivar? he must be about 45….he looks about 26.

see what a full house will do for you.

the employees were freaking out b/c fred durst was supposed to show up. they were literally pushing people out of the way. that is when we decided to leave and went to ‘the room’.

i hugged a bouncer from philly and then i puked up my red bulls & vodka in the bathroom.

i have a meeting in precisely 10 minutes.

how are you?

7. baseball blog

perotheus

anna always tells me that i never tell the loyal readers of the blog when i have done a new photo essay or a new interview or done something to the web site.

so since i told her i wasnt going to do anything like that until she came back to tennis (which she did yesterday in Dublin) follwing her most recent injury… where was i?

oh yeah, i had the opportunity to chat with one of the hottest new girls of bloggerdom, lauren from madpony.com.

lauren is fifteen, an equestrian rider, is that how you say it? and an all-around funny chick.

my guess is she really does know how many days are in november.

her older sister kristin is in a sorority in oklahoma and will hopefully agree to an interview soon too.

people write in and ask me why i give these girls so much love. thats easy. they’re funny. theyre smart. and they both hype the busblog nearly every day.

they credit this blog with the success of their blog, which has only been around for less than a month, and yet i havent made their hall of fame. interesting. perhaps there is more to the nomination process than meets the eye.

some things that did not come out in the interview: lauren is a super fast typist. its crazy. she can do three lines before im done snorting one. [ rimshot ]. thank you.

she really does like the pancake maker that was first popularized when my good pals bonnie and charlie got one for me for my birthday. see, those two kids’ love has spread across this great land of ours.

is lauren taken? well thats a question that i didnt bother to ask. for all you boys still in highschool, lets just say perhaps you should ask her yourself. for all those men out of her age group, yes, shes taken and shes jailbait, so move on.

regardless, here is the interview. click the pictures to advance to the next page, and feel free to tell me how great it all was in the comments below.

5. screechin

6. what in the sam hill