hi dennis rodman!

bro, how come you didnt come to my wedding yesterday?

shit, worm, i didnt know you were getting married yesterday.

hell, i barely knew.

did you wear white?

oh man, i wore a white dress, a nice white head thing, and a nice white garter. vera wang, baby.

pretty.

didnt you get the invitation?

no, dude, my email has been fubar for the last week and a half. terrible virus on my computer. dont you read the busblog anymore?

nah, brah, i had this wedding to plan, and my normal rodman lifestyle to maintain.

like what?

you know, drinking, gambling, chasing white women, acting a fool.

arent you ever afraid that racists might point their finger at you and your way of living and say, “see, Black man acting just like we said they all act”?

i do my best not to live my life so that racists would feel better about me.

good point.

i got your birthday gift though.

sweet. wait. your birthday was yesterday! you got married on your birthday?

yeah, my girl asked me what i wanted for my birthday and i got down on my knee and proposed right there.

see worm, i told you that youre all right. but wont this married life cramp your style?

hell no, she will have her house, i will have mine.

she’s not moving in?

nope, she already lives two houses down, why should she move in?

what about the kids?

they live with her. two doors down. my son is two, my daughter is one, they wont even notice.

you’re incredible.

Hef does the same thing. it’s brilliant.

the nba misses you, dennis.

shit, the lakers miss me, thats for sure. they could definately use a rebounder.

damn straight.

forward, never straight, my man.

so where are you going on your honeymoon?

this is my honeymoon, we’re here at the Hard Rock, im about to go down to the craps tables and shes going to be waiting for me when i come back with some money.

again, dennis, youre the man. we miss you. thanks for the invite. sorry my email ate it. i hope to see you soon.

you definately will. we’re going to have another wedding next month down in newport, make sure you come.

solid. can Tsar play?

for sure. lots of bands will play!

later, worm.

later, g

s. eliot + tif’s twat + ah, texas

speaking of which, if you plan on using the subway without paying i havent seen any cops checking tickets in months.

which might explain the increase of people taking their bikes onto the subway during rush hours which is strictly against the policies.

found out today that jules asner is leaving my favorite channel, e! – it made me sad. jules was my favorite e! personality next to howard stern.

she seemed smart. i liked that.

america, im bored. you dont want your helicopter pilots bored. not xbi ones. people start doing stupid things.

wanna hear a secret?

bet you do.

wanna hear my deepest darkest secrets?

doubt it.

ok heres a secret. yes i live in hollywood. yes i live in california. yes i live in america. these things dont always add up to sunny and beautiful and wonderful and magical.

many times they add up to the same old bullshit going on in your town.

ive traveled the world and many nights ive ended up at mcdonalds or kfc even though the lady next door might have been making chicken for 800 years, still i go to the colonel.

here in hollywood people still buy their cds from Borders, their clothes at Ross, and their shoes at Sears. we dont take advantage of Melrose Blvd. the way we should, we dont bang gongs the way we ought to, and worse of all we dont jump into the ocean – or even in some cases – look at the fucking sea the way we thought we would.

we just fly around and work and hustle and go home and light up and flip on the same crap that you do whether you are living in des moines or detroit or debuque. it’s disgusting. i dont want to be a pinhead no more.

i want to fully take advantage of this advantage that i have and i want to report to you what its all about.

some guy speculated in the office today that if horry’s shot had gone down that thered be a riot in the streets of la. the fellow was immediately dismissed cuz nobody riots in the streets of la unless some white cop is bashing the brains out of a brotha in an import.

only other time that people get up in arms is when it rains here. and they only get nutty in that case if they are a tv newsman at the top of the hour.

paul, im standing here at the corner of crenshaw and slauson and it’s raining. fred can you pan down a little. see im in an actual puddle.

last minute laker shots do not create much of anything other than a high five from a bored blogger to an nba cheerleader, but only because we like game sevens.

floor pie + the girl of my dreams + jeff coop + brett lamb

and gray here in LA and if i didnt know any better i would think that a tornado might blow through here and take away all the bad little witches and yapping dogs and plastic surgeons but all it is is the beginning of tourist season, and even clouds like to hit the beach.

another night without my computer so i watched the lakers when i got home while laying on the couch, a strange position for me. my mind was running. i was pacing. i didnt know what to do with all my extra energy.

for lunch yesterday a nice girl from around the way stopped by with free coupons for burritos at Chipotle at the beverly center, ozzy’s favorite burrito place. super great spicy burritos. i took a bunch of pictures of the beverly center and i want to do some good web stuff with them when i get my box back.

so the lakers. ive never seen a loss actually be a win before until last night. san antonio lost the playoffs last night. i dont care what the score was. first of all, you dont let someone, i dont care how many sparkly rings they have, come into your house after being down by 25 and comeback and be one centimeter away from winning a game.

that three pointer by robert horry went in. yeah it came back out again, but it went in. the lakers won that game. they are going to come back to staples, three metro stops away from the home of the busblog and destroy the spurs. i say by at least 20. theyre going to do it with sprained ankles on devon george, derek fisher and a fella named kobe. then theyre going to go back to the shadows of the alamo and theyre going to break the hearts of those deep in the heart of texas.

you heard it here first.

saturday night is going to be interesting because we were all going to see the matrix two, but now it looks like we’re going to have to watch game seven.

pretty girl wrote me last night to affirm that indeed she has a crush on me still. college girl. how come when i was in college no girls had crushes on me? i know why.

dear college girl, please direct your pretty eyes to some college boys. im so old you have no idea. maybe you do have an idea. guys my age only want one thing. and im too embarrassed even to say what that one thing is here.

fine. i’ll tell you. we want everything. we want love, we want lust, we want attention, we want to be left alone, we want someone to watch tv with, we want something to fall asleep with, and when we want it we want you to be wearing unbelieveable outfits and whisper the dirtiest things youve ever said without cracking up.

sweet college girls should stay sweet while their sweetness still comes easy.

not that i dont appreciate the college girls, but at my age i need some jaded porn stars to develop raging crushes on me.

ones who dont wince when given booze, but who slam down the shot glass and look me in the eye as if to say, whattup fuckr.

DeWey + heather + alecia