and to celebrate i would like to make a big fancy announcement that i im quitting this, or starting something new, or doing something different, or renewing my vows for another year, or something.
but one thing i wont be announcing is that i will turn this into an aol blog.
yes, two years after the fact, eternally late to the party, aol will soon have blogs.
the mighty jeff jarvis from the buzzmachine is testing out aol’s new “journal” ap in BuzzMachine II, and the framework of it doesnt look any different than aol’s pathetic failure when they tried to give their users geocities-styled web pages.
does anyone really go to any hometown.aol web pages on the regular?
i dont, and i surf the web probably 20 times more than the average man.
obviously embarrased by the popularity of their users going to blogger and blogspot and diaryland and open diary, aol is thinking, “shit, our 5 million users are going somewhere else other than the safe enviorns of the aol country club, and if they see that this is all just a big farce, they will probably leave us forever.”
which isnt true.
aol users dont actually think.
thats what makes them aol users.
i saw a kid riding a skateboard the other day.
skateboarding is still very popular here in hollywood.
and i thought, if aol ruled the world, they would slap training wheels on skateboards and charge kids $20/month to go slower and be able to do fewer things.
jarvis is a terrific writer, and an innovator, and he’s doing his best working with the afterthought that is aol journals, but anyone who has seen a sophomore year computer science student’s homework assignment has seen what i am seeing with the aol journal: copycat bullshit created to see if it could be re-created.
aol is not providing their members with anything they cant get just as easilly anywhere else. they are not providing their users with anything that they have asked for.
and once again they are creating something that isnt even half as good as what they are trying to copy.
aol: try to at least be half as good.
if i was an aol user i would want 1) less spam, 2) dsl and/or cable access 3) wireless access 4) lower prices.
a big ass company, even one doomed to implode at any minute, should be able to have the muscle to make those things happen.
once that has been established, then you can branch out to these extra credit ventures.
aol has had some big wins with AIM and porn. because of aol more kids get to sex chat with more adults than ever before in human history. and because of them more kids get to see Barnyard Fun ads in their inboxes, daily.
therefore, perhaps this white elephant should just do what its best at and partner up with porn companies since thats really been the business that theyve been in all along, and to be honest, that is what their lazy, clueless, technically timid userbase has wanted all along.
not homepages.
not blogs.
but boobies that they can smile over.
while they wear their wifebeater shirts and sailor caps
at the beach.