i keep telling you my life isnt easy.

my biggest problem is that the cigar smoking monkeys who type this blog have been churning out crap lately and cranking the faith no more isnt encouraging them the way it used to.

so today you’ll have to settle for me.

hi.

last night was a weird one.

someone stopped by my house to give me two presents as “a peace offerring.” I’m not really into people coming over to my house who im not in the best of terms with, but she was cute and she did have the Anna Kournikova maxim, so i accepted the gifts and went back to choking my monkey.

i mean monkeys.

i mean, going back to watching big brother four which was a sham, and now im gonna stop watching it.

then i fell asleep on my couch. too much rum and thai food will do that to you.

i woke up and might have had a conversation or might have had a dream. its hard to tell.

if you call me and im mumbling im probably dreaming.

its probably a good time to ask me all the deep dark questions that are burning in your little hearts.

i remember a girls voice.

she told me some things about how i took care of business that made me happy.

but again, it may have just been a dream. but since i dont dream it may have been real.

when i get home i’ll check the caller-id.

i want to shake the hand of the man who invented caller-id.

or hug the woman who thunk it up.

this morning i woke up in a pool of my own blood.

then i realized that really was a dream.

and woke up again, but this time in my kingsized waterbed which i had thought had sprung a leak.

but it was just the sprinklers from outside that had shot through my open window.

ah, spring.

paris and nicky spotting + another paris and nicky spotting