make hellaaide.

sonny came over with a girl that i thought i knew but i didnt. then i realised i did. i forgot her name which is scary cuz i went out on not one date once upon a time but two with her. she sat there with her legs crossed and teeth showing looking at me the whole time and then finally after we were all done watching survivor and eating our hot fudge sundae featuring microwaved heated real hot fudge starring broken up peanuts sprinkled around the top and whipped cream, thank you, she said we saw lost in space the movie together that one night in anaheim and i said no shit. and then she said that we went to golf n stuff in ventura the next week and i said how could i forget. and she said, i wont ever.

ive got five more minutes to write you this morning. another flash from the past called me once they were gone, almost like people know what theyre doing. do you remember that episode of twilight zone where the aliens mess with peoples lights on the street? just the lights. they flick some on, and flick some off. some of the neighbors say whats going on that we have light and they dont. and the other neighbors say what do they have. and then they all start distrusting and getting all weird and in reality it was just the aliens. remember that one? that ones my life but instead of lights the aliens have hot chicks call me and come over and send gift boxes with varieties of cheese and the aliens try to figure out when im going to crack but all that ends up is i have discovered every type of cheese and you know what aliens

i fucking love cheese so keep switching on and off the bullshit all night long cuz this spaceman isnt ever gonna crack cuz this is my h0metown and im almost a hundred and ten and ive seen everything.

then ashley of all people called me and we actually talked for longer than we’ve talked in months and months and months and she sounded good and at one point she started to cry and she said im so sorry and i said if you cry im hanging up and she stopped and i wanted to tell her to listen to teenage fanclub but i’ll save that for a later day like maybe christmas.

in the middle of the night my red phone rang. thats the xbi. thats my boss. thats right i said 4am. he said i didnt have to come in tomorrow and do you know what that is. thats code for things are fucked up in the office be careful arriving. and do you remember when that xbi guy disappeared and we were nervous that he was ratting everyone out and we couldnt find him. well we found him.

yesterday.

and theres trouble at the heron house.

and when the lord gives you trouble.

mix it with gasoline.

and say yr prayers.

and this morning as i closed my thermos, i gave it one more tighter turn than i normally do.

cuz the shits going down today.

and somebodys gonna feel it.

and it just might be me.

virginia is for cubfans + chuck knows how to compliment a man + ewing blog