forget what happened tonight in chicago.

what happened today in california is the answer for what will happen in chicago later this month.

today we learned, more than ever, that anything is possible.

that it doesnt matter if you talk funny, or look funny, or have a freaky looking wife. it doesnt matter if you have no experience whatsoever, and it doesnt matter if your poppi was a nazi.

likewise it doesnt matter if you give up nine runs in the first game of a best of seven series, tonight we were reminded that anything can happen.

a bodybuilder is the new governor of my state.

i dont know why im surprised, a used car salesman is the commissioner of baseball.

life isnt fair.

if life was fair i wouldnt be buying condoms in bulk off ebay.

or getting marriage proposals in my email.

if life was fair the lakers wouldnt have shaq malone payton george and fisher on the court right now, with mj thinking about calling it a comeback.

in some ways im very happy about what happened in california politics today, because it will mean that ones past doesnt matter And if one doesnt have any ideas that doesnt matter either. it doesnt matter if a candidate is an admitted pot smoker, orgist, or womanizer.

it doesnt matter if a guys dad is a storm trooper, his wife is a democrat, or that he is a rotten actor

all that matter is that when you run

run republican

and everything will be forgiven.

cubs will be back tomorrow and they wont give up nine runs again.

and the fairy tale will go back to chicago

where it belongs.

katie hall + chuck olsen + pvr blog

i know i know i know

im supposed to be supporting the red sox, the only losers almost as loveable as my cubbies, but you know what, fuck the red sox.

yes it was exciting, their series with the a’s, but it was sloppy as hell. so sloppy there shoulda been a disclaimer for any little leaguer to look away in fear that they might see the ugliness on the field disguised as the national pasttime.

i say fuck the sox because theyre not going to beat the yankees playing the way that they did versus the a’s.

i say fuck the sox because for being the leagues best hitting team they barely hit anything against an oakland staff that was short one ace.

and fuck byung-hyun kim for flipping off the good people of boston when they dared boo his boo-worthy korean ass.

you think the new dork damnkees arent eating this shit up?

i say fuck the sox because i need the sox to get focused and quit stumbling around like they dont know how to get shit done. i need to see 6-7 run innings, and dont think im not pissed at the cubs for leaving the bases full, but the sox dont even get the bases full unless theyre in the field and walking people in the bottom of the ninth.

the champions of the world will not be the ones who load up the bases with walks. i dont care how crappy your bullpen is.

and this buisness of using your converted starter who used to be your closer as a closer again in the last inning of a playoff game? try that shit with the bronx bombers. i will promise you this, my friends, they will not watch the ball go over the plate time and time again like oakland. not soriano, not giambi, not bernie, not hideki. those motherfuckers take their cuts and you know this boston. you of all people know this.

i want you to take out the yankees early. you need to knock their pitchers out quick. i want to see some bench clearing brawls, hard outs at second, brushback pitches and some serious sign-stealing.

call sammy corky all you want, but romeys right, if youre not cheating youre not trying, and i gasp every time sammy breaks his bat but we all know thats not the way hes gonna cheat anymore.

i want that knuckleball pitcher of yours to put some spit on that shit. i want your catcher to have sandpaper in his mitt. i want your designated hitter to wack posada in the nads with an errant back swing.

thats how youre going to beat the yankees my friends from the northeast.

or youre going to have to stop playing like wicked sallies.

and whoever thought of that gay ass “cowboy up” needs some beer thrown at him.

utter wonder + sk smith + obey pedro

i know the good lord loves me.

He doesnt have to prove it by letting me see the cubs win the world series in my lifetime again. but im very grateful that He is.

He knows i dont have a good job, or a car, or any money.

He knows that the girls who take a number at the gates of the beachhouse cant give me the pure satisfaction of baseball in rocktober at wrigley.

He knows that the marlins aint shit, even with dontrelle, or the speedsters at the top of the order, or pudge, or the senior citizen manager who will always be known as trader jack.

i know He loves me or else He wouldnta let me live to be 109 years old so i could see the fall of the republican party, the drug bust of rush limbaugh, and the return of rock led by my favorite band Tsar.

the last time the cubs won the world series i was 14 years old. tinker to evers to chance.

chance was my favorite.

games cost a penny.

kids got in for a half pence.

kid could get a half pence in ’08 for shining a guys shoes or by watching a guys horse while he got drunk in a saloon or by selling a few newspapers at the corner.

back in the 70s it skyrocketed to 3 bucks to sit in the bleachers. i forgot about that until john cusack reminded us all on tv the other day. and i remember that now so well.

ten bucks and you could get a bleacher seat, a dog, a beer, and still have money left over to chip in for another beer with your buddies or a scorecard or some peanuts.

now the bleacher seats are twenty five bucks.

twenty five bucks to sit on a bench.

and you know what, id pay thirty, and the Lord knows this because He loves me, and i love Him.

these ninety five years havent been so miserable. ’84 was bad, but that was about it. and ’69. but its cool.

the Lord blessed us with harry and jack brickhouse and don kessinger, ron santo, and ernie and billie and sutter and kingman and jose cardenal and ivan dejesus and my buddy jody davis.

He blessed us with ryno and sutcliffe and bull durham and gracey and now with sammy and kerry and mr. mark prior.

and today He is blessing us with the likes of the most interesting cub hurler, senor carlos zambrano.

who points up to the Lord and gives thanks and prays ceaselessly.

just like ive been doing the whole playoffs, and every night, and in this post.

please Lord let the Cubs win tonight at wrigley field.

the closest slice of Heaven next to my true loves arms.


linda + ewan + missed web