everything is upside down right now. arnold is my governor. rush is a drug addict. karl malone is a laker. the grocery store is on strike, the bus is on strike, you can say fuck on tv now.

im not saying i deserve to see the cubs in the world series, or that this cub team is one of the finest ever, or that there arent more important things to be rallying around than getting my ass back where it belongs in the bleachers of wrigley field. but im going. i called my mom today and told her. i called my sister and told her. i told my boss and my bosses boss and pretty much everyone i talked to. i told karisa that if the red sox make it then i’ll take her, and thats when my sister called up and said that she has enough air miles to send me and karisa out there and back for free.

im going to the world series and so are the cubs.

on my damn birthday.

and of course i know that asking for money is a dirty thing and uncomfortable and weird and you know what, not for me. and it isnt any of those things when i give it either. i would definitely flow my favorite bloggers twenty bones for their birthday especially if it would help them get bleacher seats to their favorite team in the fall classic. why not? if i really liked him id even think about forty. wtf afterall.

right now the tickets are going for over $1,500. i think it’s worth it. if i was truly 110 years old, this would be maybe the fourth world series i would have ever seen at wrigley. but im not 110 and the cubs arent really all that great, other than a few guys, so this might not happen again. which makes me think that two grand for those tickets might be worth it. a hundred people flowing twenty bucks? that could be done.

great part is, it has to happen in two and a half days.

people talk to me about the web and blogging and i tell them that magic can happen on the web in a way it cant anywhere else. and i mean in lots of ways.

before blogging the cubs totally sucked. now look at them.

thank you, internet.

and thank you instahangover + xtracyx + katie hall + joh3n, and jack! we are now at $66. excellent start!

you people sent me to aruba a little more than a year ago, and ive been thanking you for that for a long time. in a year i dont think youd say that ive slacked off. im going to this damn game. im going to take pictures and have stories for you, and i will blog from my mommas house and show you pictures of my niece, my sister, all her damn animals, the fans of chicago, the married with children fountain, the tribune building, the sears tower, the united center, the new soldier field, the town that i grew up in, and so much more. and maybe even your girl k*. so flow till it hurts and tell all your friends.

and pray that my work doesnt fire me. cuz im going. if i have to drink beers across the street at the cubby bear, im going. but id rather be in the bleachers. and id rather be there cuz of you.

go red sox.

go cubs.

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i was born.

when i was three my family moved to hanover park, illinois and very soon after that i became a chicago cubs fan.

the relationship i have had with that particular sports team has been equal parts love equal parts heartbreak.

on october 22 of this year, my beloved cubs will be playing in the fourth game of the world series (as long as either mark prior can beat the marlins tomorrow night, or kerry wood can beat them wednesday night).

if the cubs go into the fourth game of the world series winning 3 games to 0, that would mean that the cubs could win the world series at wrigley field On my damn birthday.

this is too much for me to fathom.

whats also incredible, is the fact that eBay has a listing for a pair of bleacher seats four rows from the ivy on october 22, my birthday, when the cubs will be playing in the world series.

this is where you come in.

i need your help, busbloggers.

many of you have written in to ask what you can get me for my birthday. what i need is for everyone who can, to flow whatever you can to my paypal account within the next three days.

if the donations are enough to win the auction then i will fly to chicago, take pictures, blog, and be indebted to all of you forever and ever and ever. if the donations are not enough, or if the cubs somehow drop the next two games, ALL of your flowage will be returned in full.

who will i take with me?

if the red sox can make it, i will take karisa, who is just as loyal to her sox as i am to my cubbies.

if the yankees make it, i will take my mom, the best person in the world.

i know that i said a long time ago when i started the get-me-a-car fund that i wouldnt ask for anything else from you this year, but i suppose there should be an underlying caveat to anything that i promise along the lines of “…unless the cubs are playing in the world series at wrigley on my birthday.”

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i cant stand affleck. i hate that he has my girl, i hate that he has everything, and i hate that he gets a plasma tv at his fingertips at his first base box seats at the clemens vs pedro game, with my girl.

and of course i hate his matty clement goatee.

only thing worse than affleck is matt drudge licking the wounds of rush limbaugh.

witness:

Drudge on the cable talk show “Buchanan & Press,” 10/10/03

BILL PRESS: Matt Drudge just about out of time, I’ve got to jump in. You mentioned Rush believes. One of his beliefs he’s stated over and over again as anybody into drugs, anybody into drug use, anybody into drug sales– the harshest treatment, “send them up” the river Rush says. After this experience do you think he might have a little softer, more liberal attitude about people who get hooked on drugs?

DRUDGE: I think he is being sent up the river and I think we’ll see him paddle back down. On this, there’s no law against being a hypocrite a few times in your life. And this industry is built on hypocrisy! Like I said I’m challenging the media tonight to empty their pockets!

Exactly which industry is Drudge saying is built on hypocrisy?

Certainly not journalism.

The War on Drugs Industry?

Fuck Matt Drudge. I hope he gets lockjaw.

In his attempt to turn the tables on “the media” who has had to put up with being under the same umbrella as Drudge and Rush, he basically calls his boyfriend a hypocrite in such a manner to suggest that its ok to be one now.

So the Republican party, via the next governor of california, has said that it’s ok to:

have a dad who was a nazi

have nazi friends who you invite to your wedding

use steroids

grope women and humiliate them

smoke weed

not vote

have no ideas

engage in orgies

And now the Republicans are saying, via Drudge and Rush, that it’s also ok to:

be a drug user as long as you call it medication

run from the law, the press and the parents into rehab once the national enquirer corners you (even though youve gone to rehab twice, and it failed)

go deaf from your drug abuse

not claim responsibility for being a long-term druggie, while supporting the war on drugs

be a bigass hypocrite

blame the “medication” and not the man

sutter + ev + blogger party i missed this weekend cuz the cubs game/party went late

i look at my simpsons desk calendar and its the month of libra, my favorite month, the cubs, my favorite team, is a game away from being the national league champs, my favorite band tsar is about to play a month of mondays at a pretty sweet club, and still i dont want to be here. i dont want to be anywhere near here.

i unlocked my back door on friday and i was thinking how i dont want to live where i live anymore. i know i pay a fraction what i should for that property but so what. im a big boy. i could move to where i should be living and figure out how to pay for it. life isnt that hard. whats hard is when you think youre out of a hole and youre not out of any hole.

i think these things and then friday night i found myself in the glow of a cubs playoff win and karisa inviting me over to her pad to drink wine and the phone ringing and food being delivered and my playstation 2 starting to work and i climbed into my flying car and i thought, what the fuck are you trying to leave? is traveling the world really going to be much better than hanging out with the coolest friends ever? all the time? in LA?

have what you have they taught us in the early days of the xbi which means dont get hung up on what you dont have at the moment. focus on whats happening. now. with you. now.

cubs are a game away from the world series.

im going to preside over the wedding of two really awesome friends on sunday.

cubs are going to the world series.

hot girls still find me interesting.

cubs will win tomorrow.

tonight i will have a new computer.

cubs.

rock.

tsar.

cubs.

rock.

mariah called me to see what was up with me and i said the cubs play tomorrow and she said baseball is still happening?

and i said, yeah, sorta.

tippecanoe + gabe takes me up on my challenge and makes a photo essay! + mc brown made the nyt!

youre always in trouble when the la times calls you and wants to do an article on you, or worst yet, wants to include you in a feature.

scary part was when the reporter said that he was writing an article on bloggers and yet he hadnt really read my blog, then asked if i could describe it.

i dont know much about journalism, but, shouldnt you read a guys blog before you call him up on the phone?

this blog really cant be all that hard to catch up on. i have a lot of pictures.

not so sure the guy understood what i was talking about. i have a feeling “real” journalists look at bloggers as amateur journalists. sort of how pro baseball players look at scrubs in the minor leagues.

so when i told him that i get laid from the blog he said, really? i said, yep. and then he said, really? and i said, dude, yes.

apparently writing for the times doesnt get you hot young fans.

which is why you dont see me rushing out to write for them.

but then he didnt follow up! so many other questions to ask after someone drops that sort of bomb on you. like, ask about what sort of chicks want to meet a blogger.

awesome chicks.

last night miss montreal came over. my computer was at solomons house getting a 200 gig hard drive put in it, 512 mb of ram, and a new athlon processor. say goodbye to 400mhz p2.

this girl has some body, times. booming system up top, etc. gorgeous eyes, soft smooth skin, etc. and yes, i think shes way happier that im a blogger than a quote unquote journalist and that is where the times should have gone with the questioning. he should have asked, why do you think the ladies are interested and i would have said because blogs are tons more exciting than newspapers to young women, because the odds of a hottie getting mentioned in a blog are way higher than getting her name printed in the la times, and odds are the mention in the blog will actually get read by her friends.

but what do i know.

i just know that i wish some reporter would call me who actually knew what the hell im trying to do over here. pc week interviewed me this summer and that guy seemed to really get it, but then when the article came out it was all scattershot and mangled that i didnt even go to the newsstand and get a copy to send to my mom.

it makes me think that i probably wouldnt do that bad of a job if a big time paper or magazine hired me.

i wouldnt mind that as a job one day.

i also wouldnt mind this for my birthday.