ive typed those words a million times in this blog and a lot of you just saw it on tv.

i just saw it on tv.

if life was fair i wouldnt have so many friends. i wouldnt be so damn good looking. i wouldnt have all these cars and homes and bling.

i wouldnt have all of you reading exactly what i would be writing in my diary if i still kept one.

if life was fair lots of you wouldnta sent me money so that if the cubs made it past tonight i would be sitting in a bleacher seat next to one of the coolest girls in america.

thank you, by the way, to everyone who sent me money. it should have all been returned to you. if anyone didnt get a refund, please let me know.

if life was fair i would be living an average life. with average ups and downs. with average expectations and average failures.

but life isnt fair and i end up getting way more than i deserve which is why i try to share as much of it as i can with you.

still that doesnt mean that i wasnt close to tears when the cubs game ended tonight.

but fortunately i was distracted by a phone call from the xbi telling me that in the morning i was probably going to get written up and definitely some of my responsibilities would be stripped from me.

if life was fair i would be making more money there, but things even out, its cool.

for months ive been asking not to have to patrol west of the 405, that making me cover the wesssside spreads me too thin and i will miss shit that happens in hollywood, downtown, and south central.

well today on my day off something gnarly happened in west la, something i should have predicted, but because my plate was full and has been full for six months sometimes mistakes happen.

whats interesting is tommorow i will be stripped of what i was asked to be taken away from me a half year ago.

i will be yelled at about something that ive been yelling about.

whatever.

theres always the next hearbreak.

coyote has been taking some amazing pictures + trevor + jaime

to stop from thinking about it. saw kill bill. now i have a headache. rented a car and they had to drive me to my house to get an electricity bill so that they knew i was legit.

just because i have an electricity bill doesnt make me legit, i told him.

he said he knew who i was but the boss needed an electricity bill since i didnt have a credit card, only a bank check card.

i said you can drive me to my house but all this hassle… i want a break on the car rental.

they gave me a little break.

good car. it will get me to work and back while the mta gets over their strike.

went to kfc, got home, saw the red sox win. chatted with karisa who was stoked, chatted with kristin who just flowed the busblog and told me that sometimes her mom reads this

hi madpony mom

i think both of your daughters are great but im deeply in lust with kristin

lust in a nice way

a sweet way.

i hope my foul language at times and my stories dont offend you, im just trying to give the kids what they want.

and after seeing kill bill, i dont know why people get mad at me for talking about some of the violent moments that happen in the xbi.

while kristin and i were chatting kerry wood gave up three runs in the first inning and i said a swear word and told her i was going to have to lie down and watch the game.

she said why

i said cuz i might cry.

she said oh baby.

then i realized i didnt have my lucky shirt on or my lucky hat.

so i put those on, and the cubs scored a run, and then kerry wood got up and hit a homer.

now we’re all tied up at three all.

i think we’re going to go to the world series, mrs pony.

and i think boston is gonna come with us.

which means me and karisa will be going to chicago.

lets hope.

better yet, lets pray.

<3 madpony <3

to big time games.

either you have to know someone or be rich or be someone or be evil or be connected or steal or be on the take or have blown someone or something to sit front row during a bigtime playoff game like that and looking at my buddy there i can think of a few things he musthave done from that list to be in the position that he was last night when fate rang and he answered, “yell-low.”

its pretty easy to be a cub fan in the front row of a baseball game.

you sit there.

you cheer when the cubs do anything, and boo at the other team, and try to make the umpire cry, and drink your beer, and eat your food, and if someone passes something dont bogart and pass it along.

tip the guys who bring you your shit

and dont reach over the railing.

the umpire said that moises reached into the stands.

ump was wrong. everyone was wrong. the fans arms are going out. moises’s glove was going up.

not only will the guy have a beautiful life in florida, where he should move back to, but im glad he didnt even get the ball.

pray for kerry wood.

pray for sammy sosa.

pray for moises and randall and kenny lofton.

its ok to pray for baseball players.

and please pray for joe borowski.

im off to get more rum.

your pal,

tony

crewed up everything, but i also had nothing going right at my place.

i had people over and all our phones were ringing.

everyone i know was calling and we were watching the thing on tivo and people were saying all the wrong things.

just dont say anything.

dont call.

this dude has to call me tonight and thats gonna suck cuz i would really like to unplug the phone but when youre xbi your phone can never be unplugged.

we save the world.

it sucks.

being home in the day is weird. ive been listening to the sports talk radio shows this morning while generally freaking out. talked to work about four times.

im nervous about tonights game and i just want to go somewhere and watch a movie for a couple of hours but thats right theres a transit strike going on. i cant go to manns chinese and see kill bill.

it is screening in walking distance, but not till two. which means i will miss the red sox game.

but maybe that will give them luck.

i hope the red sox know they can beat the yankees. they can.

and i hope sammy sosa knows that it would be ok for him to hit a few moonshots tonight.

i got a beautiful email from an elementary school teacher who said she flowed me ten bucks and told her fellow teacher to donate too, and does it get any better than that?

well, yes, yes it does.

kerry wood could shut out the damn fish and sammy could hit like four grand slams.

the rum, by the way, woke me up this morning tapping at my shoulder, unscrewing its own cap and motioning that it would like to dive down my throat.

i was in no condition to argue with anybody at that hour.

aaron + abigail + megan all flowed bringing the total to $392 which is good because the ebay dude auctioning the tickets relisted his auction late yesterday and it looks like it will indeed cost two grand to sit in the bleachers.

much love to doug and jack for their extra special efforts.

i dont want to go to work. for a variety of reasons. plus the damn busses and subways are on strike. plus the most important game the cubs have had in at least 20 years, if not over 50 years is going to be on tv today and im not guaranteed that i will make it back home in time to see it.

and what if the mailman bumps my satellite dish? and what if my tivo fucks up. and what if the electricity goes out in the middle of the day and deprograms everything.

i have personal days at the xbi that they give us. if this isnt personal, i dont know what is.

problem is i will get hell for it when i go back to work on thursday. and i will have to hear it from a number of people and why cant i get someone to invent a home tshirt making machine because if there was one i would make a shirt that said

seventh game of the national league playoffs, bitches.

and on the back it would say

one game away from the world series.

i know im not the best writer, america. but i am a great fan. im a fan of so many things and most of them take place during a baseball game.

strategy like crazy, drama, psychology, good vs evil, youth vs experience, intimidation, the poetry of emotional communication, history, power, precision, guts, fear, teamwork, preparation, finesse, and the relationship between fans and their heroes.

the relationship between a manager and his piss poor bullpen and his ace who has probably thrown too many pitches.

how on earth can i be fucking around at the job, a place that i showed up early so i could leave early, but am instead stuck doing overtime cuz of some selfish asshole who wants to play chicken with me with the fucking print button, when mark prior climbs the dark mound of wrigley on a chilly autumn night needing the support of everyone but especially me, the worlds dumbest cubfan.

if i wasnt a Christian minister i would call in sick today, but im not sick. im no liar. i have been given personal days, this is a personal day.

the cubs. the team of my life. the staple of my tshirt collection. the reason i have directv and tivo. will be playing game seven in the playoffs, winner goes to the world series, in wrigley field, the place my ashes will be sprinkled.

unlike the fiction of this blog, my job doesnt involve saving lives, really.

i can take a damn day off.

in america.

during a transit and grocery strike.

if the son of a nazi can run and win the office of governor of california, tony can take a day off to see his cubs get into the damn world series.

despite his unquenchable work ethic.

and if youre ever curious if youre losing your mind, think about if youre speaking about yourself in the third person.

jason + jesus rob + wandering steve + basart + sarah all pitched in for the bleacher seats bringing the tally to $252.

thank you so much you very kind people.