elvis did a lot of great things

but his first novel wasnt x rated.

somehow i found a link to the national novel writing month november deal and signed up.

fuck people who write novels.

i barely have enough attention to read a novel or two a year, only way im going to be able to write one

in a month

is make it dirty enough to keep me interested.

month of scorpio.


i have a very hard time writing at night. this would be good exercise. this will be good exercise.

i also have a hard time writing about sex on my blog. i dont know why.

i admire all the people who can do it, but i cant. for some dumb reason im always afraid that if i ever do get a job with a high tech company again or one where id get to write, id get googled and found out, and not get the gig.


this one will be undercover.

just a little secret between you and me.

a dirty little


funny ass

american novel

about life in america

working at mcdonalds

and banging cheerleaders.

what else am i gonna do in november?

im watching the pilot of the new fox series called skin

its about two families: the d.a, his wife and their virgin “teenage” son; and the porno mogul, his wife, and their super hot virgin “teenage” daughter.

sadly, its awful.

each line is delivered so seriously and humorlessly and not in the least bit sexy.

it wants to be scarface and miami vice and alias and the sopranos and nypd blue but instead all it is is a waste of a great idea.

of course in the pilot the son and daughter of the different families meet and fall in love without knowing who their daddys are, and of course the moms and dads demand that they break up immediately and of course theyre torn

im not allowed to see you any more.


because your father arrested my father and embarrased my whole family over nothing!

fuck tv writers.

even my laziest monkeys dont bring that shit to me unless its some fucked up monkeyjoke.

you know what they said during their fight? the super hot virgin alleged sixteen year old chick who sorta looks like a porn star, and the perfect skinned son of the d.a. which rhymes with gay

he said go to hell

she said you first

quentin made an amazingly violent and bloody movie that in two weeks has grossed $42 million. it opened at number one and last week slipped to number two

the remake of the texas chainsaw massacre made $28 million

so if i wanted to please people id write about ultraviolence

and not sex

but violence is the easiest thing to write about

and film

and do

being sexy however

well, then we’re back at elvis again.

nanowrimo + sk smith + raymis novel would kick mine

hotbabe: what happened today

at work that has you so upset

dumbass: just 2 days of work piled up

dumbass: this is a super hard job

dumbass:and people give me no respect

dumbass:and they dont pay fucking shit

hotbabe: I know it is, but Tony, you are way to good for that job, you should look for something that better suits your talents

dumbass:thats why i want to be a strip club dj

hotbabe: that would not better suit your talents

dumbass: are you kidding me?

dumbass: mandy, mandy everyone, lets keep these ladies happy.

dumbass: next on is roxie, shes from romania, gentlemen

dumbass: how about a little girls girls girls

hotbabe: speechless

dumbass: motley crue

dumbass: just for you

dumbass: she might not be naked, but stephanie is at the long bar and shes mixing up some mucho margaritas

dumbass: on the side stage coming up is verrrrrrronica

hotbabe: tony

dumbass: put your hands together down there in the tip rows

dumbass: dont forget that every tuesday is amateur night

dumbass: two for one dances

dumbass: drink specials

dumbass: and free street parking

dumbass: if you can find it

hotbabe: tony

hotbabe: you are nuts

dumbass: now a little aeorsmith cuz veronica is an angel

hotbabe: its called, GET A JOB WRITING

hotbabe: don’t be so scared of rejection!

dumbass: just got a note from merle in the mens room…

dumbass: people, we put tip jars next to the candy jars in there for a reason

dumbass: if youre going to take the candy, leave a tip, ok?

dumbass: up next is monique all the way here from pareee

dumbass: shes 100 per cent all natural

dumbass: thats au naturalle in her tounge

hotbabe: ok, I have to go pick up my lunch, i will be back soon, and I want you to CUT IT OUT

dumbass: and other place too, i bet