i look at my simpsons desk calendar and its the month of libra, my favorite month, the cubs, my favorite team, is a game away from being the national league champs, my favorite band tsar is about to play a month of mondays at a pretty sweet club, and still i dont want to be here. i dont want to be anywhere near here.

i unlocked my back door on friday and i was thinking how i dont want to live where i live anymore. i know i pay a fraction what i should for that property but so what. im a big boy. i could move to where i should be living and figure out how to pay for it. life isnt that hard. whats hard is when you think youre out of a hole and youre not out of any hole.

i think these things and then friday night i found myself in the glow of a cubs playoff win and karisa inviting me over to her pad to drink wine and the phone ringing and food being delivered and my playstation 2 starting to work and i climbed into my flying car and i thought, what the fuck are you trying to leave? is traveling the world really going to be much better than hanging out with the coolest friends ever? all the time? in LA?

have what you have they taught us in the early days of the xbi which means dont get hung up on what you dont have at the moment. focus on whats happening. now. with you. now.

cubs are a game away from the world series.

im going to preside over the wedding of two really awesome friends on sunday.

cubs are going to the world series.

hot girls still find me interesting.

cubs will win tomorrow.

tonight i will have a new computer.

cubs.

rock.

tsar.

cubs.

rock.

mariah called me to see what was up with me and i said the cubs play tomorrow and she said baseball is still happening?

and i said, yeah, sorta.

tippecanoe + gabe takes me up on my challenge and makes a photo essay! + mc brown made the nyt!