what are you doing for ramadan?

i cant believe how quickly it got here and i dont have a thing to wear.

i never have anything to wear.

hot chick called up crying last night. im a sucker for cute girls who hiccup as they cry. its hard to hang up, its hard to be a good friend cuz wild thoughts go through my head even if the girls have boyfriends. its not always good to have a quote unquote creative mind, cuz weird things run through it.

when she left the message she was sobbing and didnt go into the story much. sounded suicidal if you ask me. but what do i know, everything sounds suicidal to me.

a cheerleader got drunk with me last night after work. we walked to a local bar that i never had been to before. we watched the raiders game. then she took a cab home. so there it was not even ten pm and i was drunk and playing my playstation2, some hockey game that im getting really good at, and i hear the phone ring, i hear the caller ID tell me whos calling, i tap the pause button and listen to the message and it was so sad.

so i called her back and she told me that she was upset with her boyfriend and she needed to talk to a friend and i told her that i wasnt in any position to be her friend, that i was drunk, and only two things come out of my mouth when im drunk, poetry and filth, and i havent written a poem in long time.

she sniffled and even laughed and i said i had to go and she said please dont and i said i must and then her man finally came home and youd think enrique englasias would have a thick accent, but i guess he only pretends to have one when hes on tv.

and i told her that the next time she calls she cant cry and she cant be depressed because gay male friends is who hot chicks should call when theyre crying and depressed, not guys like me.

i dont want to be that guy.

i wanna be a way different guy that hot babes call. one that they call when they get a new catsuit they want to try on for to see if it looks too slutty for a work halloween party.

coyote + the ward + sheila o’malley

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