LA blogger Luke Ford was on 60 minutes a few days ago, and as you know i’m a big fan of mr. ford.

But when i saw what he was saying on 60 minutes it was hard for me to think that he wasnt completely full of shit.

The most glaring load he hurled at me as I sat in my den this past Sunday was when he ripped this one: “It’s become popular, cool, acceptable in this 18-to-25 age group. My age group, I’m 37, my age group and up, we think porn is something that’s shameful. But for kids half my age, they think it’s cool.”

Adult film is a billion dollar business. Billion with a B as in boo-yah. And it’s been popular since the first caveman chiseled the first titty on a wall. Of all people Luke Ford, formerly of lukeford.com knows this. He also knows that once you turn 26 you dont suddenly consider it “shameful.”

60 Minutes showed many people standing in line at an Adult Film convention looking middle class, happy, and well beyond the prized 18-25 demo. I saw a couple who looked 50+. And then the narrator told us that there’s even porn for “the ’60 Minutes’ set.”

Luke, I dont think college boys are buying Gangbang Granny. Theyre not renting it either.

people getting it on isnt shameful. nude boobies arent shameful. adult fantasies played out in the privacy of one’s own home arent shameful either.

whats shameful is distorting the truth, a truth very few men know as intimately as my man Luke. The porn industry might be a dirty filthy shamefully-run machine, but arent most entertainment industries? Doesnt major leauge baseball do shameful things, doesnt the US government?

what porn can teach us is that thats the shame we should avoid.

whereas the “shame” typically tied to doing totally natural, loving things with ones spouse or boyfriend shouldnt be looked at with negative connotations. and if people want to do it on tape or dvd, i fail to see the shame in that either. infact im encouraged by adult stars who have rid themselves of the shame that humans are taught to feel about their bodies.

now i havent been 37 for a long long time. but i’ll tell you this, if we had dvds back in the 40s when i was 37 we too would have thought that it was “cool”. if we would have had jenna and janine and monica sweetheart and kelly o’dell and raylene and shane and the vivid girls maybe the 50s wouldnt have been so repressed and maybe we wouldnt be so uptight in america in places like beaches where we have laws against women sunbathing topless.

maybe.

and not to get into someones religious business, but why is it in the handful of events that i saw my buddy Luke at he was always wearing his yarmulke, and yet as soon as 60 minutes shows up hes just a good-looking aussie, as opposed to a good-looking aussie jew?

tell you this my friends, if you ever see my ass on 60 minutes, i wont spread generalizations about 110 year olds, and i will be sporting my cubs hat.

cuz i represent.

bring back the old luke! or the 18-24 luke!

luke ford dot net

in order, for their last free show at the silverlake lounge last night.

i had a good spot. still i didnt take very good pictures. i sorta suck. but still, heres what ive got to show you, and heres what mc brown has for your asses.

my night began very nicely when greg vaine came over to my house to kick back a few and listen to the rough mixes of his upcoming cd. so good to hear gregs guitarplaying again. no offense to everyone else in LA who plays guitar, but greg is still the king. you know, he started this gangsta shit.

then we drove to the silverlake lounge, met jeanine outside a liquor store. she bought a little deal of whiskey and tucked it into her size 2 waist. and drank it right there in front of the club. she looked so hot that a suv sped past and crashed into a stop light.

then it backed up and sped away.

craziest thing i ever seen.

then tsar came out and blew our minds

yet again.

same as it ever was.

we screamed for an encore and they gave up one.

had to.

it was I Dont Wanna Break up.

it was perfect.

then me and jeanine went to midnight tacos and i had a chicken burrito with cheese.

then i got an email from someone who pointed to my main page and said

andrew sullivan wished he could do this shit + my corvids review is #15 today on popdex

maybe its not funny. maybe it means that i always want to write. i do.

i want to write about how people say theres no seasons in LA. and how theyre wrong. everyone has sweaters and hats and scarves today. it was cold last night. maybe 30? i had the electric blanket on. i have my google fleece on.

i want to write about how the subways and busses were free last week. and on friday everyone caught on and decided to ride it en mass. it was crowded. lots of white people that youd never see on that thing in a million years.

i want to write about how the subways only had four cars today. monday. how the sign apologized for the inconvenience and how i flipped it off.

theres a bunch of hippies who pass out fliers as you get on the bus. the busriders union. they tell you things like how the mta gets a million dollars a day from tax money anyhow, so they didnt care about the strike, and they dont care if youre late for work.

they dont care about me so much that theyre raising the costs to ride the bus next year and theyre even doing away with transfers and bus passes are getting raised to $52 which doesnt give a guy much of a discount, just a convenience.

mta is dumb. and they’re mean. how do you raise your rates and take away transfers if most of the time you have to stand up in the trains or busses?

i want to write about how i got a part time job offer the other day. pretty much a dream gig, but im so wiped out after doing my 10 hours at the xbi that i barely have time to write on this thing. but dude, if youre reading this, thank you for the offer.

i wish i could take it.

truly.

i just want to do a good job at whatever i do, especially if it’s writing.

kat + i heart ms iverson + kat

and i would say that most of them are from college-aged young men.

now this isnt the way that i set this shit up to work out, but you get what you get and you live with it.

every once in a while i get a troubling email from a young man who says he wants to end it.

i hate those emails. it puts a lot of pressure on me. and libras arent the best shoulders to cry on. we might just be the worst.

so heres what i will tell you, my friend. college is tough. its the best time of your life, which is sorta freaky, but it’ll still be tough.

there were times, especially in college, when i wanted to end it all. and i am happy that i didnt.

since college ive done an awful lot. i still dont have a car. i still dont have my dream job. but no way could i have known in college that my life would have ended up the way it has, and in lots and lots of ways its way better than i ever thought it would be.

when i was in college, for instance, there was no such thing as mp3s

or free porn

or paris hilton having sex on my computer

there wasnt anything like blogger.

we werent hooked up for the internet in any of the homes that i lived in.

the cubs didnt have any pitching.

hot girls werent emailing me pics of their hot bodies.

you couldnt type tony into google and it would be second only to the Tony awards.

there wasnt even Google.

so much changes so fast my friends that it could change for the good, even if you dont see the light at the end of the tunnel.

you’ll have to trust me on this.

one thing that i did when i was in my darkest hour was this: if i thought i was going to take a dangerous risky dumbass risk, i first asked out a super hot girl to the movies.

if she said no, i asked out a girl even hotter than her.

if she said no, i went to the movies alone.

then i wrote something.

some might say all that college angst and struggle ended up starting a pretty good habit.

keep rockin,

and drink the beer. it’s there for a reason.

tony

100 moons + steph + blook II faq

just dropped

post

powered by audblog

so my man noah emailed me yesterday to tell me that my first audblog post had reached #40 on popdex.

today it’s still climbing at #36.

is there really nothing more interesting on the web?

this is my first answering machine message audio post.

not only do you get to hear kristin from madpony, allison from meltingdolls, but you get os calling long distance from france and not one, not two, but three messages from karisa.

and of course, it all starts with ashley

1. ashley “answer your phone”

2. karisa and kerrie driving to hardwick “we got a fucking suite for the wedding tomorrow.”

3. kristin, “i was calling to say hi and i have a question…”

4. os “i’m calling from paris to say go cubs.”

5. liz and karisa at 3am “call us back, we love you…”

6. karisa and liz at 4:30am “we’re just bored and calling you…”

7. allison “bye.”

im not really sure if ive worked that hard since, hell, its been a while, maybe back at the dot com when i was hiring 30 to 50 people a week.

its friday night. its eleven pm. the hot girl from last night is doing a shoot at the roosevelt hotel in hollywood and after she says shes coming straight over to finish what was started last n’ and i dont really talk sex talk in here but what the hell.

last night she said that she was wantin it but was a little sore in the hey nanu nanu. so i was totally cool with just falling asleep holding her. but this is a reason i date girls, as i was falling asleep she took my hands and was basically all, dude.

one thing led to another and shes whispering for me to take off her bra.

just so happens thats one of my favorite little hobbies.

had to do this one left handed , eyes closed, while kissing and this girl has something to put in that bra, lemme tell you.

maybe we should have a sexy story every friday night.

and the thing with curvy girls and their brassierres is that can add a tad more stress to the bra strap snapdeal, making the inital pinch at the buckle a smidge more difficult, which can mean the difference between a holy-shit quickie release of the bra and a oh-man what a struggle tug tug tug slow clumsy manuever.

outkast was on the boom box.

eventually got that bra off and she snickered at me for she knew how proud i’d smile after a lightspeed removal of the unmentionable

and i shared her snicker and she rolled onto her belly

and i was all

and then i put on a condom just like i do everytime while promising promises of a confident man calling his shot

which i highly recommend

cuz its hot

and its nice to see if the chick doubledares you or promises something back or checks you out while you put that thing on

and last nights girl did all the above

which is why she got invited to be tonights girl

and now ive got the drive by truckers on

and now im thinking about all the craziness that went down today

im thinking about how could it have all happened squooshed like that into one little day.

i think three girls told me they loved me, and one guy said he wanted to have my baby.

as many hits as drudge gets, how many times you think a guy tells drudge something like that?

actually, nevermind.

had kung pao scallops for lunch, delivered.

thought about getting a used car

got to read

on the bus

in peace.

aj made two excellent things this week.

from country punk corvids fame

is no one other than mr. ken layne

It seems that the critics

all agreed:

‘This is bullshit’

But one typey-typer

grinned and snickered,

‘Or is it?’

He would type-type the most

type-typed ravey of rants

and Mike Myers would pull

down the type-typer’s pants!

‘A blowjob, a rimjob,

a dinky-donk-plo job,

you’ll get what you

truly deserve!’

And every movie page ad

in the Snap City Tribune

and the Goblin Heights Post

and the Bough Bubble News-Goon

and the St. Trickly Times

and the Goobertown Gazette

and even the Roggo Flats Daily Tourette!

Will all put the type-typey’s

rave up on the top

with his name big & proud

his words bold & loud!

and the name of his paper

right underneath that …

a paper so odd they called

it the Strib

like a lake-muckian critter

with the face of a squid

And the parents perhaps

not so smart-smart to know

so they say,

‘hey petunia, let’s go see a show!’

So they wrapped up the

little ones in wide winters wraps

and the diapers & dribble cups

went straight in the night sack

And off to the mulgi-plex

where they waited in the line

with the Beasleys & Weasleys &

Flat Footed Small Frys

And finally oh finally when

the door monkey yelped

they ran and they ran and the

fatter folks fell

and the small ones their faces

were so bright they lit

but five minutes later the

sad truth had hit

they were stuck at the movies

with a huge piece of shit!

ken layne + do youself a flavor and get the new corvids cd