people are stepping down. feelings are getting hurt.

let me tell you right now. i do NOT want to head up Disney. send the wheelbarrows home. send the dancing girls back to where they belong. and for the love of pete send Pluto back. i like Goofy, not Pluto.

plus i just want to write. i just want to travel the globe. i just want to blog.

i dont want to fix Disney.

i would blog about Disney. i would blog about Hollywood Records. I would blog about Tsar touring on Hollywood Records with what will most probably be the hottest rock record of 2004. but im not going to fix the mouse.

if i were to fix the mouse i would start with bible stories. disney loves to take old, uncopywritten stories and water them down. the old testament is full of stories they could plunder. they did a halfassed job with Prince of Egypt but havent really tried with much else.

if Disney came out with a bible story each Christmas every year for the next 20 years it would appease the so called religious right and it would open up the good book and so many of the great stories in there for people around the world.

then i would overhaul ABC. only thing worth watching on abc nowadays is madden doing monday night football.

first thing i would do is bring back american bandstand with dick clark, but it would be an hour and it would be on friday nights at 7pm and it would have huge stars and up n comers. then there would be music videos till midnight. and at midnight there would be the ABC Rock Concert.

and it would rock.

this week the Strokes, next week Marilyn Manson, the week after that Slayer.

Christina Aguilera had her live concert on the WB last night. nobody talked about it, nobody watched it, nobody cared. ABC shoulda shown that shit. and it shoulda been on at midnight.

according to jim? gone.

nightline? gone.

threat matrix and extreme makeover? GONE.

i would take conan or howard stern and i would give them the late night slot against leno and dave. i would destroy them.

oprah would get off her black ass and find her way into prime time. sure she’d still do the afternoon thing, but abc is blowing it by letting her coast. work that ho. have her introduce movies like they do on amc.

monday night baseball would come back on abc, and saturday afternoon baseball would debut. its the national pasttime, bitches. show some respect. and what could be finer than waking up with john miller on a saturday afternoon to give you the Game of the Week?

nothing.

the Disney movie would be on Thursdays. quit it with trying to hoard those tapes. show them on abc too. in primetime against Friends. the people buy your stupid Dumbo tapes anyhow. many times over.

ok, my 15 minute break is over, but once again i dont want to run the studio, i just want to blog about it.

thanks anyhow

tp

green{e}house effect + soundbitten + buzzmachine

was our girl splink’s 23rd birthday.

hard to tell since everything about her is a mystery.

you’d think that after a year of linking her and talking about her and occasionally emailing and chatting i’d have a little info on her but i dont.

and she coulda come to one of the tsar shows lately and said hi or i coulda gone to the troubadour and looked around for a runway model trying to hide, but neither of us did that. and its not my style. i like to give people their space.

flagrant k. splink was born in the wisconsin dells in the back seat of a chevy cutlass during tommy bartlett water show. always the jokester she would hold her mommas hand in the mall and suddenly scream, IM BEING KIDNAPPED! and then laughing her little girl head off when the security arrived.

soon she became a runway model but didnt like the hours. only chanel would allow her to work from 6p – 9p Monday thru Wednesdays but even that became tiresome to our girl, who quit and became a porsche saleswoman in encino.

she broke all sorts of sales records and quit when she met a young black college basketball player named lamar.

they made beautiful love all over hollywood, santa monica, and the valley. they made such a stunning couple. he was tall and dark and chiseled, she was thin and pale and had super long blonde hair that she liked to whip around when they were being reckless in parking lots, against palm trees and in her luxury box at staples.

the romance ended when he moved to italy to turn pro.

she moped and wrote and learned how to paint and take photographs.

some of her drawings you can now see on her blog, which, by the way is one of my favorites.

definitely in my top 5.

of all time.

i still dont really know what she looks like or if shes even a she, but i think she is.

her travel writing is some of the best ive ever read.

shes a star no matter what she does.

we’re all so very lucky to read what she writes.

please join me in wishing fragrant a happy birthday + my interview with her last year