tsar plays tonight

and a super hot chick is taking me. i worked late so i wouldnt have to worry about things. shes hot. even this other chick says shes hot. the other chick says she wants to do it with both of us and im all yeah i’ll believe it when i sees it.

some of the things i talk about in here are true. some arent. some are. this are. i are a lucky fucky. my belly is nervous. it might have been the regular coke i drank at lunch. i had to join the 3, 3:30, and 4 o’clock poopie club today so i want to say im not going to eat anything before the show but you have to have a few beers as the band plays.

also a hot chick from work will be there. and two of my bros and all my friends minus my truest who was a little under the weather today and couldnt work. minus karisa who never wanted to see this show for some reason i dont know why. i will hafta ask her tomorrow.

ok, the hot babe will be here any minute now so i will end this by saying to the ladies who read this page this:

i want you to write for Lick.

we have a good thing started over there.

we will continue to grow and improve on what we have.

i want you to write and tell me all your secrets.

i want you to write and tell us boys how we can liberate all of you from white male oppression, kool things.

i want you to tell us hwat we’re missing out on and how we can be better.

we all want to be better.

i want you to write and tell us what the real movies were last year that we shoulda seen and should rent.

i want you to tell us what things were like when you were happy.

i want you to tell us what things make you sad.

i want you to tell us about what life is like in your neck of the woods.

i want you to peel back the layer that protects you and flash us with something real.

not j.lo and jah rule real but really doe real.

i want you to write for me.

the way i write for you.


heres the thing.

i dont mind if you pack the court. just dont do it with racists. is that too much to ask?

and by racists, i mean judges who trim the time off of sentences to people convicted of CROSS BURNING.

other than hanging a man for being black, what more racist thing could you do to someone other than burn a cross on his yard for having a white girlfriend?

so what on earth would inspire a judge to say that another judge’s sentencing of 7 years is too long?

fucker burned a cross on a man’s lawn.

so thats the judge, charles pickering who stoked the racist criminal and shortened the sentence. now we have president george bush who appointed this guy to the appeals court.

what does it say about the president of the united states for sneaking this guy in?

and what does it say of his supporters?

during black history month.

we can disagree about taxes and the war and wmd and all this other bullshit that many of you seem to want to bury your head in the sand about.

we can pretend that bush didnt really have the biggest surplus this country ever had, and we can pretend that the largest deficit of all time is also a lie.

but wtf is this shit?

if youre going to pack the court, why cant it just be normal conservatives?

why does it have to be the worst fucking excuses of humanity?

racists, sexists and gay-haters?

to me this is deeper than politics. to me this is scary.

im cool with politics. im sorta cool with lots of you backing your bro regarding this war. i will give you that it is probably a better world without saddam. we will get our hundreds of billions back. those 500+ soldiers who died for your oil will go to heaven and have 1776 virgins.

but these judges are fucked up and i have a hard time even thinking that even conservatives want to align themselves with this shit.

but who knows.

you people suprise me all the damn time.

i will tell you this though. if i was a republican, i would look around and see if theres anyone else who could go against kerry cuz the guy you have right now didnt find osama, fucked the economy HARD, lied about wmd, bent over to halliburton, buried cia docs about 9/11 before and after 9/11, and is now packing courts with racists and gay haters.

i am seriously trying hard to find any redeeming qualities about this tard and not only am i having an extremely hard time doing it but now im questioning those who support him and his, dare i say, fascist actions.

no wonder nader is running. who in their right minds would vote for what might be the worst president this nation ever had?

how appealing + jack bog + ernie the attorney

hi, my name is Judge Charles W. Pickering.

in 1965 as a state senator, i repeatedly voted against measures that would expand electoral opportunities for African Americans after passage of the Voting Rights Act in 1965.

me and my church organization think women shouldnt be allowed to have abortions unless shes going to die. we adopted a resolution calling for legislation to ban abortion.

f seperation of church and state. i did fake them out into thinking i did believe in a seperation of church and state when i

however i was the judge who removed the alabama judge who would not get rid of that 10 commandments statue last year. even though i love the ten commandments.

i also love racists, which is why i shortened the sentence of a man who was convicted of burning a cross on the lawn of an interracial couple.

but theres no one i love more than that good ol boy, george w. bush, who thought that it was wrong that the dems were trying to block my appointment to the federal appeals court, and used the dirty back door of a “recess appointment” to get me my seat.

cuz there are no other republican judges who are less racist, less interested in womens rights, and less supportive of racial equality in america to pack the court.

and if there are President George Bush doesnt want them on the appeals court.

thank God.

last month the president steamrolled anti-gay judge William Pryor into the court of appeals as well.

ashly + belle du jour + tink hilton

i had a good weekend.

still im not the happiest person in the world. ive been the happiest person in the world on many occasions. and the luckiest. right now im about the tenth luckiest. maybe the ninth. still im a normal person and sometimes i can forget how lucky i am and i allow myself to get sad about dumb things like the fact that will wheaton gets 4 times the links to him than i do. i also dont like this ebay transaction im embroiled in with this dude in florida. and since we’re making lists, im not completely happy with the cubs’ catcher and second basemen.

i am, however, so happy with Lick that i dont even know what to do.

tonight we’re posting the 34th story.

and its great.

there are four new stories this week and one of them is called f is for fucker.

atlantic monthly wished they had something called f is for fucker but theyre old and weak and slow and lick just kicked their ass.

all women writers.

ms. raspil iverson workin that photoshop and html/css mojo.

true stories of sex drugs and rock.


this is how Lick will be done. next week we will post the submissions that came in from now until friday. on sunday, after the academy awards the first issue of Lick will be completed, and those of you who watched, watched a kickass online zine get put together.

and then we’ll do it again.

i really hope you are enjoying what youre seeing and reading over there. but if youre not thats ok too cuz i sure as hell am loving it.

and the best part is this is just the begining.

lick + tourniquet + amy + mr. picassohead