happy st. paddys, shane macgowan

who i cant believe is still alive. i love the irish. one was once used by one of the hottest irish girls you’ll ever meet. in the morning i woke up and told her that i didnt remember what we had done and she was kind enough to refresh my memory.

ive been to many nations. never ireland.

the last time i made a ton of money it was due in part to a nice irish man. some didnt think he was nice. i never had a problem with him.

once i found myself in a foursome. three girls and dumbass. one of the girls was irish. weeks later she would get on my bed with me and her roommate and my roommate and we all tried to make out right there but we ended up laughing all night instead.

my favorite beer is guinness.

my favorite prepared drink is baileys.

last time i cried at a concert was at u2.

my favorite restaurant is mcdonalds.

these are my favorite pogues cds

rum sodomy and the lash

if i should fall from grace with god

yeah yeah yeah yeah

my favorite quarterback is donnovan mcnabb

the brits however made this commercial about their favorite swear words.

two of my favorite bloggers quoted me today and yesterday.

usually im flattered, but recently ive winced because i just havent had the time to take my time and get into whatever it is that im typing about. sorta sucks but whatever. even halfassed i still write better than the idiots who comment against me, so its cool.

mr. doc searls of the santa barbara searls’s quoted a large chunk about my support for howard stern and then mr buzzmachine of the daily stern jeff jarvis took the same quote for his blog.

poor jeff gets gangbanged by ignorance every time he valiantly rallies behind the king of all media, showing us all how it’s done. im not sure i could do what he’s doing. i must admit, i am a bit of an approval-suck. if my core readers didnt want me to write about something and Obviously didnt get it, i, sadly, would probably become persuaded to quit the fight, but not jarvis, he keeps his head down and continues to whale away at the body unaware of the uppercuts from the emptyheaded.

whats supremely ironic is that the anti-sternites seem to want a direct line from the president to howard stern getting dropped by clear channel, and yet they arent at all interested in direct lines for seemingly more important debates like how we’re still in a motherfucking war with a country because our leader said they had weapons of mass destruction.

certainly they’re smart, but these fuckheads just dont want to admit that this is how the line goes:

* howard dominates morning radio, which dominates how people start their day

* bush didnt win the election

* bush fucked the economy, got us into a war from lies and deception to distract us from his previous fuckups

* bush is now up for re-election

* bush appointed colin powell’s son to be head of the fcc

* howard, who usually votes republican, starts calling bullshit on bush

* janet jackson shows the world her weird nipple thing

* colin’s son who has never done anything realizes he has to do something about that nipple

* colin’s son goes overboard cracking down on things that have nothing to do with nipples on tv

* to appease colin’s son, a subcommitee drags Clear Channel to the hill to have them explain how they will conform

* the morning Clear Channel is to testify, they drop Howard Stern from 6 markets

* two of those markets are Ohio and Florida – states Bush has a slim chance of winning, states where Every vote matters

* Clear Channel initially claims that Stern was dropped because his show that day was obscene and offensive because a caller said “nigger” and “spic”. The Nation called this excuse hogwash.

* the FCC did not fine Stern that day because legally his show was neither obscene nor offensive

* Clear Channel replaced Stern in most of those markets with pro-Bush Michael Savage who is best known for being fired by MSNBC last year for anti-gay statements and telling a caller that he hopes he gets AIDS and dies.

* Clear Channel who has a history of funding the RNC now refuses to pay Stern for the remaining portion of his contract with them

* Strongly endorsed by the Bush administration, the house passes a bill that would fine a radio performer up to a half million dollars for indecent material. ony One republican congressman votes against it.

free speech is free as long as you’re a republican who doesn’t talk about sex.

and lying is not indecent, unless youre martha stewart.

doc searls + buzz machine + dick cheney is a bitch

i get every tv channel on gods green earth

and for the last two hours ive been surfing the web and watching of all things american idol. what a horrible show. are there no more good unsigned singers in america?

simon and the black dude had a fake little fight to make the show interesting, but American Idol is over. fuck it. it’s dead.

my truest called. some people dont like it when i call her that. including her. whatev. we only spin around this fuckhole once. may as well be honest to people. she called. she used to talk to me about her work and i used to not want to talk to her about it. now for some reason i have become a better friend and i want to listen and help and of course once we get into it she tells me she doesnt want to talk about work any more. its funny.

as always i begged for her hand in marriage again. i told her that if she said yes i would run across town to her awaiting arms. she said thats like 11 miles! i said fine, id run to the busstop. which is funny because when our love was first blossoming i wouldnt even walk two blocks to her house. lifes funny. not funny haha. sometimes its not funny at all.

some asswipe just turned on the lights. fuck that.

im at the xbi now. its not where i want to be. i dont know where i want to be. i want to be in iv. i want to be alone. i want to be where grumpy olde men like me should be. on the porch of an old hotel in a rocking chair looking at the sports pages for the third time commenting about the skinny young ladies and their tiny little rat dogs trying to outdo each other by talking about the amount of times we used to beat off as teens. please let there be a heaven. please let there be one. even if i cant get in, please let there be one cuz maybe maybe maybe i can get in there.

there is a heaven and its zip code ends in 117.

a young girl in another state chatted with me last night and told me that she is completely shaved. completely. there used to be a time when that would have put a smile on my face for a good week. those were the days.

another even younger girl wrote me a very sexy story for Lick about how she wants to get it on with someone soon. how great she’d be at it. and i bet she’d be great at it. that made me happy.

but i laughed out loud maybe 9 times talking to my truest, but if ever there was a closed door thats it. might as well be bolted. might as well be a door on the 100th floor of tower #2.

at least i dont live on the east coast.

and another thing, fuck st. patty.

hey red + jaime + bored housewife