ive never had a problem with money.

i earn it, and then i spend it. usually i spend a little less than i earn.

as ive gotten older there have been fewer and fewer things that i have wanted to buy. which is good because things have gone up in price pretty fast.

the first concert i paid for was ac/dc’s back in black tour in ’83. it cost $12 and i was in the 14th row, on the floor.

if you wanted to sit in the 14th row of the madonna concert that’s going to happen at the forum this summer, it will cost $300. anywhere on the floor will cost $300. if you want to sit in the loge, the section that encircles the floor, it will also cost you $300. the only way not to pay $300 to see madonna in concert this summer in LA is to sit in the upper level, the concourse, and that will set you back a measly $75.

minus ticketmaster fees.

if i wanted to sit in the 14th row, and i could get that ticket through ticketmaster, the only way to get a ticket there, it would cost $22 in ticketmaster fees, plus the $300 price.

it makes me not want to go to many concerts.

which saves me money to wine and dine young ladies at my hollywood bachelor pad. where its cheap.

i have a feeling though that if i had more money i would probably do different things. and maybe some of those things would be better than the things i do now. for example, i would probably visit hawaii if i had more money. i would probably drive a car if i had more money. i would probably give better gifts if i had more money.

nothing life-altering. which is why i dont sweat it much. cuz id also pay more taxes. and waste far too much of my precious life in traffic.


advertisers should pay me to hype their shit.

why me?

cuz i reach a thousand people a day and those people reach hundreds of thousands of people a day.

plus, i hype shit in far more interesting ways than anyone else.

for the next week i will hype the miss usa pagaent. a television show that noone ever talks about.

this week i will do it for free because this blog, unlike most blogs that get 1,000+ hits a day, does not accept traditional advertising banners and strips.

i do this because i dont think al gore invented the internet to provide a new place for commercials to get run.

i dont believe that just because someone has some money that they should get to uglify, pollute, and add noise to a blank canvas that could be providing art wisdom and poetry unblemished.

van gogh most certainly would have allowed surveillence cam ads on the vase of his sunflowers series if they had handed over the francs, and thank god he was never offered it.

and thank god im not vincent van and thank god this aint the sunflowers because someday i will rent out space on this mofo, but i promise you that it will look like it belongs,

and if it’s for a destructive lying weasly corrupt and violent cause like the republican national committe who would have otherwise never found a way to my readers via this blog, the ad(s) will equal a car.

and then you will know that indeed nothing

nothing at all

in this bad boy

is true.

my beautiful wife + mad mathias has a sweet new design + kool keith is down with the sickness

william hung


koch records

when william hung sings “theres a time for everyone” from “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” from his new cd, Inspiration, he sings a mouthful. on many levels.

yes its awful karoake. yes its funny. but weirdly it is inspirational in a way much deeper than how the special olympics inspires.

this is a guy who can barely speak english let alone sing it. and he doesnt stop at covering the Eagles and Ricky Martin, but he then busts with the spanish in “Bailamos” and it’s funny and terrible and wonderful and laughable and uplifting!

fuck lance armstrong, william hung is your great american hero.

im listening to it here at work and people are repulsed.

“i love how they insterted the mating calls of a warthog.”

“this is disgusting.”

“how can you listen to that?”

“dont you see that people are laughing AT him?”

it doesnt matter. i can listen to him sing “Shake Your Bon Bon” all day.

hung proves that its not the song, its the singer. i was never interested in this tune before william decided to cover it.

“it’s amazing what you can throw together in an hour.”

“please turn that down, tony.”

“ok, im leaving. tell me when youre done with that.”

my only criticism with this record is the choice of the village people classic YMCA which he sings with help from some of his fans. it makes you think this is a joke. its not a joke. its people loving the william hung inside of each of us and owning it.

only someone with true talent can sing this poorly and get away with it.

im not sure what that talent is, but theres something there.

this music, as retarded as it is, is going to live forever.

i cant explain why.

i dont want to find out why.

theres no reason why, but its true.

we love this man.

nike seriously needs to incorporate hung’s “I Believe I Can Fly” with slow-motion clips of nba stars missing dunks.

and you seriously need to embrace this phenom.

before its too late and he sells out.

kitty bukkake + melting dolls + steph