danny graves who tried to start last season

but was 4 and 15, and is now back being the redlegs’ closer. strike one to uh ram iz.

strike one called to boos. aramis drives a single to center, crowd cheers. griffey throws it to second.

derek lee who is two for three. strike called. boos.

low in the dirt. a ball and a strike. drink.

organ gets a few keys pressed.

inside curve far inside. two and one.

strike swinging. two and two. cubs down by one. hard hit to left center. gasps. griffey has it.

barrett hasnt gotten a hit all day and of course in the middle of this drama chip caray says that this has been a wgn blah blah blah gotta thank the producer and the director and all the fine people at wgn and im thinking fuck you bro we just got this catcher fuck you bro what are you telling the fans. fuck you bro isnt that why we have credits why do the fine people at wgn get shout outs. lil kim is the shout shoutout of the day not the fine fucking people at gn. who are they anyway you fucking kiss ass.

this is why people hate you. this game went super fast. thank those fucking schmoes during the 10th Inning. fuck.

curveball outside. drink.

one ball drink and oh.

84. jim h.

way inside. see fucker. see. two and oh. we’re only down by one asshole. fouled away. only one out two and one. cubs down by one, fans. cubs have a good bench.

way inside. three balls and a strike. drink. do the asswipes sound excited? does a bear shit in the woods and wipe his ass with chip caray’s “talent”

grounder to short tosses it to first but valentine pulls his foot off first. safe at first.

todd hollandsworth comes up. hes a great pinch hitter. reds pitching coach don gullet goest to the mound. hollandsworth smashed a pinch hit homer yesterday. had one in atlanta as well.

hollandsworth was a marlin a rockie and a dodger.

first pitch grounder up the middle and the cubs lose but you couldnt tell from chip caray who calls it a beautifully pitched ball game and not the emotional tragedy that it was.

raymi is beautiful + bunnie has a nice long post + makeout city

the fans are cheering ker-ry ker=ry

as we waltz into the bottom of the ninth.

cubs up 2-1. wind still blowing in.

strike one gets the fans cheering some more. foul strike two to casey. crowd gets even more loud. casey hasnt gotten a hit all day.

wood has struck out six and two walks. foul ball out of play.

casey digs in on the left hand side of the plate. wood is a righty. grounder up the middle. tying run on first with your boy adam dunn up.

hes been on base three times today with a homer a single and a walk. fouled off, strike one.

outside curve called a strike low. not sure if that was a strike but we’ll take it.

one ball drink two strikes.

curt schilling beat mike mussina today. go sox. two and two is the count with ryan freel on deck.

close outside pitch this time is called a ball.


crowd boos. full count. walks him, he bitches at the ump. barrett gets in the way of wood who is chawwing at the ump. the crowd boos louder. dusty who got thrown out yesterday runs to the ump. it did look like a strike on further review. but theres no crying and no replaying in baseball.

down with the commish.

cubs looking for the triple play. juan castro comes in to run for casey. bunt by freel. great bunt, ramirez comes in barehands it throws it out. runners advance. pitching coach larry rothchild goes to the mound. the whole infield listens to what he tells kerry wood.

jason la rue is up. the crowd is up. one out and theyre on their feet. cubs at normal depth in the infield. strike one swinging. why isnt the cub infield in. fly deep to left. back alou nabs it, run scores.

people boo but it might be alllouuuu. its a tie game. lidle is off the hook.

wily mo pena is up. strike one. fouled off for strike two.

pena digs in. crowd cheers. high heat fouled off. theyre going to go through it again. kerry toes the rubber. crowd builds it up ball outside. drink hos.

wily mo pena. drives it to center. gets behind patterson. reds are up 3-2. dumbass steve stone and chip caray show no emotion cuz they suck. they should be heartbroken as all cub fans are. they should be pissed at the ump pissed at dusty but they have no souls they’re hacks. harry would be sad you could hear it in his voice.

dusty comes to mound to give the hook to wood, as soon as kerry gives the ball to dusty he yells at the ump a word that starts with f and rhymes with suck you and your cunt mother. the ump throws him out he runs at the ump the ump throws him out again. the crowd cheers and fuckfaces thats how you should be feeling right now. pissed off angry pissed sad angry and angry. that is if you have a soul that is if you know how to do your jobs. youre not the mouthpeices of the tribune corp youre the eyes and ears of the fans. stoney sat with harry and chip is harrys grandson. stil they sit on their hands like it cant be done any other way than the costas way.

i wish i could throw chip and steve out of the game. dusty pushes kerry away and kerry looks like hes gonna cry. the fans cheer and kerry breaks at least a half dozen fcc rules of indecency because i could swear i lip-read him say something about donkey balls. baker pushes him to the dug out, kerry strains for eye contact, steve stone continues to be boring and chip caray tries to be professional but if i wanted professional id be watching this on espn. wood yanks his hat off. the crowd loves him.

i love him. he went nine and a third. now in the dugout he throws his hat onto the field in disgust. a helmet is thrown. the crowd is going wild. they should. the ump is taking notes. he can shove the notes up his ass. the bleacher bums throw trash over the fence and onto the field. caray and stone throw nothing. im throwing my trash into the yard.

im putting this game on tivo pause. kent merker comes in for the cubs. bleacher bums chant bullshit bullshit. the fcc doenst fine wgn. even though thats 47,000 people yelling indecencies.

grounder to short ends the innings to a chorus of boos and this time they really are boos.

bottom of the eighth.

this is great.

2-1 cubs. which rhymes with lubs and i lubs that chili at chili’s

corey patterson grounds it to second off the new pitcher, wagner.

sammy sosa strides to the plate with cheers around him.

sammy gets a called strike. stike one.

next ball drink is outside. one and one.

sammy fouls the next one back. one and two. sammy looks fit, fine. remember he started last year with a foot problem. healthy as a horse this year. close one but a ball drink. two and one.

sammy pops it high thats two outs, the kids boo but its not boing its bruce springsteen at the game.

maybe they are booing after those last few records.

the ghost of tom joad?

one and one to alou. 93 mile an hour sinker gets away in the dirt. two and one.

low ball drink three and one. three and one equals four. stay in school kids.

check swing grounder to first sends us to the ninth.

damn this is faster than the patriot act zipping through congress unread.

we’ll be back after this.

austin kearns pinch hits for lidle

who pitched pretty well but is on the hook for the loss if the cubs hold this lead.

wood gets him in the hole 1-2 before he knows it.

gets caught looking at strike three thats six k’s for kerry.

jiminez jumps out of the way of ball two.

drink, and do it in style, old style.

looks at the first strike, two and one and now two and two.

this game is going so fast youd think someone had a date tonight they want to get ready for.

full count on a close pitch.

jiminez fouls off the 100th pitch by wood. then fouls off 101. wood can pitch 125 no problem. but walks jiminez, who can run with all star barry larkin now up and griffey on deck.

i think wood likes these situations. he rubs the ball drink and gets ahead quickly oh and two.

47,607 fans in the park including john cusak my mom calls to tell me.

she bet my brother in law that i wasnt watching the game.

i told her to look at the world famous busblog.

foul ball, its 1-2. wood breaths into his fist, wood throws it past barrett. wild pitch. steve stone calls it a passed ball but hes a pitcher. whattya expect. get it near the plate, stoney, if you want a wild pitch. grounder to wood throws to first runner advances. but two outs

for mr ken griffey junior who is greeted with boos.

all star hall of famer vs all star hall of famer probably. griffey jr vs wood. ball and a strike. drink.

griffey doesnt look like hes aged a day. remember when his rookie card was worth everything.

ball two, drink, two and one.

i guess his rookie isnt so bad, its going for $71 with six hours left in the auction.

wanna know what to pay? ask ebay. ebay auctions.

line drive to left. diving catch by alou. its a snowcone, alou lifts his mitt with the ball poking out the top and the ump calls it an out.

everyone cheers but it sounds like boos thats moises alou for your asses and we go to the bottom of the eighth.

alex gonzales leads it off for the cubs.

three pitch strikeout swinging.

why couldnt we get a-rod again?

kerry wood steps in there to a nice cheer from the fans. the count is 1-1 the score is 2-1 cubs.

wood pops it up to first and throws his bat in anger. casey drifts and catches the foul. one out.

walker takes his time getting into the box so as to let kerry wood get back to the dugout.

watch him take the first pitch or two so wood can get his breath back if he gets an out.

wouldnt want the pitcher out of breath if he has to pitch right away.

the first pitch is a fast ball down the middle, walker pops it foul for the third out.

wood’s fast ass never touches the pine and we’re speeding to the eighth.

for the first time today

kerry wood takes the mound with a lead. it’s two nothing there in the seventh.

big adam dunn with four homers is up with the count 1-1. woods curveball looks like a whiffle ball, a long shot to right a homer for dunn. the red headed kid throws it back to the cheers of the crowd but there goest the shuttout.

what did he throw back old style drinkers.

the home run ball.


freel pops to short for the first out of the seventh.

cubs two reds one. you can never tell the score too much. ryan wagner warms up for the reds. a pop out to second and there quickly the reds have two outs for wily mo pena.

a ninety six mph wood slider is fouled off. and then wood strikes him out.

jimmy collins from u of i chicago sings take me out to the ball game.

“take me out to the ball game

“take me out to the park?

“buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks” now two for one at rite aid, rite aid

“i dont care if i ever get back

“let me? root root root for the cubbies

“if they dont win its ashame

“cuz its one


“three strikes your out

“at the old ball game.

“alright cubs lets gets some runs

“lets get it going baby.”

corey patterson

leads it off for the cubs. pops it to junior in short center. ive never seen a game go by this quickly. imagine if you got stuck in traffic or lost and you just got to the park. id be pissed.

sammy sosa is up. you cant say piss on tv, did you know that. fucking assholes.

sammy has it 2-1.

hes already taken cincy downtown twice in this young season.

but the third times a charm.

charmed on the wb, sundays.

freel pokes at the shot to third. takes a step. one hopper to casey at first but sammy beats it out.

noone respects sammys speed. but there you just saw it.

they dont boo moises who wears number 18. i dont know too many good cubs who ever wore that number. i cant think of any, actually.

patterson wears the black stripes under his eyes, hes on deck as its 2-0 to aloooou.

slow curve over the outside corner for a called strike. 2-1.

handsome moises alou always looks like his back hurts takes it 3-1.

and the colored girls say allllooooouuuuu.

hes from houston by way of florida, long drive to left, crowd roars but its foul. ooooh. the organ cranks into gear. sammy goes back to first. full count. two strikes and three balls. balls. drink.

sammy goes on the pitch, foul ball. dusty was sending sammy. the organ plays an old fashioned baseball game riff. a nursery rhyme tune.

the crowd gooes alllooouuuu.

there goes sammy, alou’s ahead of the pitch and pulls it foul almost taking off the bonnett of a woman in the second row.

former cub manager lee elia is under the weather, wgn tv announcer chip caray announces to steve stone, they wish him well but i dont.

elia as you might remember told cubs fans who booed him that they should get jobs.

the cubs at the time only played their home games during the day as they didnt have lights yet. they used the Lord’s lights, the sun.

my mother on hearing this story allowed me to call in sick at school and go to the bleachers and boo lee elia the very next day.

hope you die, lee elia, hope you die.

alou fouls another one back, hopefully at caray and stone, who i dont like much either.

one out one on in the bottom of the sixth. full count. sammy goes. alou drops one into short left. no one was covering third so sammy slides easilly into third. the throw to third gets away.

now two umps are talking to alou who is still on first. no one knows why. maybe he was talking shit at the plate.

uh ram iz has 10 rbis this season so far. takes the first pitch inside, ball one.

heilemens old style, from gods country.

outside pitch, ramirez pulls it to third, sammy running on the hit, freel to first gets ramirez but the cubs score. and theyre up 1-0.

thank brings up last years marlin derek lee with bro on second with two outs, lee squibs it through second. jiminez leans the wrong way and the ball… it gets past him, alou still running, scores.

barrett to larkin at short thats three outs, cubs end up scoring two. two nothing cubs!

i like my rockstars crazy and sweet.

and if ever there was someone sweet it’s courtney love. go pick up her new record america’s sweetheart whereever records are sold.

bary larkin leads off the sixth. foul ball to right. one and one.

kerry wood hasnt looked all that but hes getting them out, grounder over second but slowly enough for gonzo to grab it and throw it to lee at first for the first out.

ken griffey junior misses a sinker for strike one. but doesnt fall for it a second time, one and one. griffey still uses the black under his eyes even though…. well hes black.

kerry jams him he pops up and holds that classic pose with the bat down and left arm bent retardedly.

pops up again foul. hes thirty four years old. how does time continue to fly.

and when you fly fly southwest.

derek lee catches this high pop. griffey never had a chance.

first pitch to casey is a groundout to short.

and just like that the reds are up and down. hope you didnt put too many quarters in the meter cuz we’re headed to the bottom of the sixth

its a crisp 68 degrees here in chicago

home of the cubs who were a foul ball away from the world series last year.

jason la rue slams the first pitch to uh ram iz at third who takes it on a tough hot but rifles it to first for the reds’ first out.

wily mo is up yo and just like that its 0-2. kerry hangs a curve and wily mo drives it into shallow center and here comes lidle who bunts but derrek lee takes a risk and throws it to second, barret calls second, gonzo is at second and the force out is called what a play.

thats defense kids. that wont show up on sportscenter but its that shit that wins ball games.

jiminez lines it to second. for his third lineout of the day. kerry keeps his shutout going. we’ve got a pitchers duel here at wrigley.

alex gonzales starts it up for the cubs, yes what

he lined it to the pitcher who traps it with his knees and glove. maybe a foot from his family jewels.

sixty feet six inches is where that rubber is.

kerry wood digs in. one ball and a strike.

curveball wide for ball two.

keep drinking kids. keep drinking.

ball three, three and one.

drink again.

kerry fouls it and the count is full. i had a nice dinner last night with the girl. she didnt want to kiss me for some reason.

kerry grounds to larkin at short. now shes at the baking against bush rally in silverlake.

she and her friends made some baked goods and theyre selling them today and giving the money to kerry.

drink and think kids, drink and think.

todd walker to jimenez and thats it for the cubs in the fifth. three up three down and we’re scoreless going already to the sixth

sammy bounces it to freel at third for a quick

first out. bringing up moises alou.

the cubs fans arent booing theyre saying alouuuuuu.

lidle has nothing. first pitch is 84 mph and high ball one. a 77 mph curve falls over the plate for strike two. moises pops the next one up high. high. high but larkin camps out under it and theres two outs. where are the bats from yesterday mary kay?

air uh miss whiffs at strike two. cubs are making lidle look like christy matthewson. uh ram has like a .500 average against lidle which rhymes with ladel which you want lots of if youre eating campbells chunky soup. but i use a spoon.

foul ball on a hanging curve. still no balls for ramirez.

fouls another one back. twelve dozen balls. thats how many are used in a common major league baseball game.

thats my guess, what do i know, im blogging this.

the trainer comes out to see if uh ram is is ok, he says see, spelled si and proves it with a shot past the second baseman for the cubs first baserunner since the first inning.

derek lee is up he could be the key to the world series for the cubs he drives it through the hole at short and the cubs have two runners on with two outs here in the bottom of the fourth with michael barrett up batting 345.

the former expo catcher takes the first one low for a ball.

drink every time i say ball, and when you do, drink with style, old style beer.

reds dont have much of a bullpen so it would be key to get up on lidle now. slow grounder to second who tosses it to larkin who tags the bag and the cubs waste a little rally.