thank you but i must return your check for ten million dollars to write ads for your re-election campaign.

i have no problem attatching my good name to the work that i would do for you, but im afraid of what you’d do to this country and to the world if you were allowed four additional years to the four you stole.

you’ve started a vietnam in the deserts of iraq and within a year or two the concept of an involuntary draft will be as real as the concept of paying two twenty five a gallon for unleaded.

its shameful that you get to be called an american.

americans have courage and that doesnt mean the courage to continue to fuck up, but the courage to chill the fuck out and stand down ho and i know that you cant do one thing gracefully to save your soul but this one is cake.

you stand behind whatever mother they put in there and you bring everyone home but youre not gonna cuz youre addicted to that gooshy sticky stuff.

youve unified iraq in their hate for america, now let them vote for who hates us most and leave

like a bitch

ive never seen our flag take on so many different meanings than in the last four years and most of them sicken me.

how ironic the flag on the upper left corner of the life changing check that i am sending back to you.

plus its missing a zero and you never brought back twin peaks.

william hung + kitty bukkake + raymi the minx + the daily stern

i get a lot of female readers. some of them write to me and offer suggestions and requests.

i always try to fulfill requests. so there you are gals,

a moist prince william.

fucked up and took at nap at 7pm last night.

didnt wake up until 9:15p, far too late to go to the tsar show. second tsar show in two days that i missed.

their four song cd sampler that they gave out at the el rey has been on repeat in my boombox

theyre four hard rock in your face anthems that reek of passion and remind you that you havent heard very many guitar solos lately.

if tsar does one thing with this new record, its that they will reintroduce the guitar solo.

rock guitar solos, unlike princely good looks dont just happen naturally

but tsar makes it seem that way

the songs on the cd sampler, so that you can look back and say, pierce told us about this shit back in april of oh four are

band-girls-money

wanna get dead

wrong

straight

with a little ditty called star time that ive been linking on this blog since last year.

thats five kickassfuckyou modern rock ready

singles

that make jet look like a poor mans georgia satelites.

which they are.

i dont know when this record is going to come out, but when it does im not only going to ask each of you to buy a copy, but im going to ask you to buy two.

i dont care if i ever have kids or get married or get rich or live to 112, and after watching the cubs this weekend, they seriously might be cursed.

but i can perhaps help tsar make it.

and you can help too.

this is evil music for evil people, the way it should be

with a positive message of hope and love and heterosexuality for no good reason.

and when you buy your two copies, i want you to give one to the person who first taught you about rock

as a thank you.

im going to give a copy to my long lost friend sonja melcher who in high school first played adam ant duran duran the cure and the sex pistols for me.

im going to give a copy to my long lost pal willie aaron who turned me on to coletrane monk and the replacements

and im going to give a copy to kcrw’s music manager gary calamar who hired me at the record store that i met willie and many other excellent people and who played elvis costello tom waits and the velvet underground for me.

you might even be able to buy autographed copies from this very blog.

if youre lucky.

casey + bored housewife + candied ginger

a five foot bong in his hands so as to appease the pot smoking voters of america. some people say the pot smoker vote isnt an important one but they couldnt be more wrong. the pot smokers are the first to give someone a chance.

the other day i was at a rock concert and a jay made its way down our row. being straightedge i let it pass by but nearly everyone in our little area was taking puffs and handing it to the next person and none of those people knew what was in that thing but they all just trusted and believed.

those are the people that i would want to talk to if i was running for an elected office.

i would consider them an easy vote.

our vice president, though, yesterday chose to pander to the gun owners association.

parents get all up in arms about their kids seeing nipples on tv or hearing howard stern talk to strippers because it might fuck up their children and damage them somehow

but i bet you every day a kid gets shot and or killed by a gun. no wait, im wrong.

every day 14 kids are killed, 81% from guns.

wheres the parental outrage?

sure those are numbers from 1999, the last time the CDC decided to do a study, but 14 kids, 13 kids, 12 kids, even one kid a day dying from a gun, you’d think this would be an issue for those who pretend to be all freaked out by shock jocks.

far as i can tell, howard stern saying penis hasnt killed anyone.

In 2001, gun violence killed 29,573 Americans. thats 81 a day. thats more than 3 an hour. thats more than one gun-related death every 20 minutes.

but there you have the vice president holding his phallic symbol of power and protection and defense and safety.

three incredibly handsome men checking out that nice long hard shaft.

whoops a kid just died.

in ninety minutes another one will go.

dont let it get you down though, fellas, odds are it was a brown kid.

keanuvision + the ward + bing