yes i am a little dissapointed

why im singleand suprised that not more people took me up on the honest-blogger quiz.

i thought more bloggers had the courage to answer a few questions so that others could learn more about them and so they could be up-front to their readers.

but we dont really live in a time when courage is rewarded as much as mediocraty and image and status.

it takes courage to do things like say the war on drugs is a pathetic waste of time and money.

it takes courage to do things like say the war on iraq is a pathetic waste of time money and american lives and how dare we have the nads to propigate the belief that iraq cant figure out how to move on without saddam unless WE teach them how to set up their new system when our system produced a fucking retard as president who didnt win the popular vote and probably didnt win the electoral votes either. why do we have an electoral college again?

it takes courage to say i voted for these five people as president.

it takes courage to put your name on it and present it to the blogosphere which includes people who might want to disagree with you.

it takes courage to say i believe that Jesus is God and i have read and agree with the Bible.

and it really takes courage to say i believe in Jesus and i havent read the bible.

but i know the game. dont make yourself vulnerable, dont put yourself out there, dont reveal the truth about yourself or else you give your “enemy” ammunition and you shock your supporters.

it takes courage to say that you dont give a flying fuck what your readers think about your beliefs, here they are, love it or git.

one thing you have to say about our sitting president, he doesnt give a rats ass what you think of him, his lack of education, his fucked up brand of Christianity, his disdain for the press and the constitution, how the world views this country, how his actions effect the economy, or how much oil prices are costing americans.

all he cares about is himself and his friends and their ideals.

hes a dumb as an abusive soldier smiling at the digial camera, but at least he’s comfortable with himself. and that we could all learn from.

in the same way that we can learn by noticing how much retards laugh.

my pallie kitty bukkake wrote an addendum to the honest-bloggers quiz. below are her new questions and my new answers.

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? i live in hollywood. im the last person anyone is going to recognize.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? that would take some sort of effort. not to mention time and talent.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? creeps no, dorks sure.

4. Do you lie in your blog? only about my age, my job, my dating habits, my flying car, and a lot of the little details. but generally no.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? that shits for chicks.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? anyone who threatens to quit blogging probably should quit blogging.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? no. yes, but i should be the therapist.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? about 10% of the stupid anonymous ones. no, never, although i have been tempted to write fake ones to stir up a little situation in the comments, but then i realized that im not in highschool anymore.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after? at 110 years old it takes a little more than what ive seen on the blogosphere. although raymi, bunny, bunnie, and zulieka intellectually turn me on a great deal.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? probably less. which is why i dont encourage interaction, and why i dont seek out meeting the bloggers who i like to read.

11. Do you have a job? i am paid a stipend for what i do from 9-6.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? i would even do it for a half-decent salary.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? several including fragrant, kristin, zulieka, bunnie, nay, jaylex, steph, aaron, and the kool kids at blogger.com.

14. How many bloggers have you made out with? 5

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? i dont mind picking up the check, but i dont think that means im acting like im rich.

16. Does your family read your blog? yes.

17. How old is your blog? 3 years in august.

18. Do you get more than 1000 pageviews per day? Do you care? my counter has been public since i started. right now it says that i am averaging 2,000+ but sitemeter’s averages has never worked right. i average about 1,000 a day. heres why i know it doesnt work right. for nearly half a year i have averaged about 1,000 a day. last week atrios linked me and i got 7,000 in one day and 3,000 the next day. now all of a sudden sitemeter is saying i average 2,000+. nuts.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? im not depressed very often, but the times that i am i wish i had a secret blog because if i write about it i would prefer to turn off the comments on that particular post because i wouldnt want it to look like i was pandering for pity. sometimes i just want to tell a sad story starring me. otherwise im rarely slutty and i only lie on the blog.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? i donate all the time. i think its nice. currently i recommend donating to makeoutcity who had his house burn down the other day.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? no, and i also dont deduct the way i probably could either.

22. Is blogging narcissistic? in theory. but careful storytelling can overcome that.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don’t post for a long time? guilty isnt the word. ancy is.

24. Do you like John Mayer? fuck john mayer. and the bluesbreakers.

25. Do you have enemies? yes, and theyre dumb.

26. Are you lonely? i havent been lonely in years. luckily.

27. Why bother? cuz a lot of people would love to be in our situations.

simpleton + antipode + glowsticks

people have been writing in a bunch

wondering why i am putting all these pictures of hot chicks on my blog. and the answer is simple: i always put pics of hot chicks on my blog.

mostly i do it to distract people away from the sloppy design and frivilous writing.

but right now im putting these particular photographs of this years Miss Universe wannabes on nearly every post so that people have a good idea of who is in the running for the upcoming pageant, which takes place June 1 in Ecuador.

im not a fan of beauty pageants. i think everyone is beautiful. especially when they leave nice comments on my blog and flow me.

but this is a spectacle and it is bizarre, and it is a funny way to learn about foreign lands. but mostly its a spectacle.

in theory it would be pretty cool to try to figure out who is the hottest chick on the globe, and one of the things that i am attempting to show you through all these pictures is that this contest takes place over several weeks, which, as you probably would agree is necessary when trying to determine beauty.

you cant just flip through a stack of 8×10 glossies. you cant just check out video tapes or have them parade down a catwalk buttnaked.

in order to find true beauty you have to sit with the ladies and make them do crazy things and laugh as they crack over several weeks.

which is why it should be a reality show.

and everyone would watch.

and it would make a fortune.

as ive discussed before.

and as i will probably discuss again.

hottest chick from work came over tonight and we ate and drank and watched tv.

i have the greatest life.

a hot babe wants to have lunch with me

and i told her to pick me up at 1pm so i could write to you. is that sick? yes it is.

lots of things can happen when you make a hottie wait. the obvious of course is someone else can ask her to lunch. someone taller and richer and more powerful and handsomer.

the other thing is she can eat her mellonballs by herself at her desk and pout.

the other thing is she can suddenly get really busy and have to cancel.

fortunately if you fly chopper one you have a tiny bit of pull at the xbi and a hottie might wait for twenty minutes and get some extra work done.

lets keep our fingers crossed that this will be the case.

my editor wrote me earlier this afternoon to tell me that the forum, formerly the Fabulous Forum, and formerly the Great Western Forum is located in Inglewood, which of course i knew since i lived about four blocks away from the LA landmark in the late 80s.

he was writing to tell me that Inglewood has been an incorporated city since 1908.

and therefore not part of South Central LA.

to which i say, whatev.

but thats why hes my editor. splitting hairs is what i (dont) pay him to do. attention to detail is what hes best at.

whats fascinating is that he knew this fact seconds after i posted it.

freaky.

i hear he has a new babe.

im happy for him cuz hes a good man.

now its time for a little soup as im feeling a tad bit under the weather.

but just a tad.

although miss montreal, upon hearing this, refused to kiss me all night last night. a first.

and if she didnt have sudden plans to have a stupid ass memorial day party this weekend, i was planning on driving her up pch and banging her every 50 miles.

i guess i will have to find another cheerleader to join me.

sigh.

utter wonder + kitty bukkake + tiny little penis

madonna reinvented herself at the forum last night

kicking off her brand new tour here in los angeles.

the forum is technically in south central la, which has recently been changed to the more politically correct “south los angeles”, but i digress.

twenty years ago madonna bumped and grinded her way onto mtv and it’s been hard to get her out of the public spotlight, try as we might.

sadly the re-invention has already taken place in the forms of britney and christina, but whatev, maybe the old bag has a few more tricks up her sleeve, who knows.

you know how hot you are here in LA based on where you are playing. while doing a few shows at the Forum used to be the creme de la creme back in the day of dayglow, fingerless bikergloves, and ripped sweatshirts, it’s no longer the case.

today in LA you’re not a big dog unless youre headlining at Staples Center.

tomorrow night the Lakers will headline there, and wednesday Prince begins a five night engagement ending the arguement once and for all as to who of the big stars of ’84 has held up the best: madonna, springsteen, prince, or michael jackson.

no one is as sexy as prince. madonna keeps trying to push the boundaries, but she never etched the word slave on her face. the king of pop pretends to be extravagant but i dont see him handing out free copies of his new cd to all attendees of his concert as a free gift as thanks for forking over $75 for each ticket.

and springsteen hasnt written a good song since the title track of tunnel of love back in 1987.

so prince wins.

and he looks better.

and he didnt ever have to get naked with vanilla ice in a sex book, or jump on the kaballah bandwagon, or turn british.

which is why im going to his show on wednesday and why i will just wait for the inevitable concert movie about this madonna comeback.

plus i bet she lipsyncs.

one thing you should know about me. i try to be fair. i wont bash someone unless i have a solution to the situation.

heres what madonna needs to do if she wants to reinvent herself:

drop all the dancers and stage shit and props and crap and comeback to us as a real american singer.

we love her songs.

we love her.

come back stripped down in classy long dresses (and a few short naughty ones), stand in front of a barebones band and sing your fucking hits.

my favorite records by madonna were during her first reinvention in the 90s.

1992’s Erotica started the experimentation into electronica, ’94’s Bedtime Stories is probably maddys most complete record of her career, and ’98’s Ray of Light got the critical acclaim that had eluded her for most of her life.

since then she began to lose her way. Although she had some great tunes on 2000’s Music, the title track was the last good song she’s written in four years.

is she over the hill?

probably.

is she capable of pulling a tina turner-esque private dancer comeback?

probably.

does anyone think that she’s going to do it this year?

nope. nope. and nope.

she might also consider doing a tour of covering nothing but ’80 hits from her former mtv-mates.

or better yet, do a duet record with the purple one. a double album.

bing + darren + danielle + flagrant

letters from the readers

Hi, I read your blog…

Ok, I’ve been looking at your blog for months. I’ve looked for your email address before but never found it on your site. Maybe I’ve been blind, but I finally noticed it today. Anyway, I don’t read your posts much, they’re allover the place, long and make no sense. I never know if you’re bullshitting or not and I know nothing about you so it never makes sense wtf you’re talking about. However, I find those pictures you post with your entries really interesting, I demand you caption that shit. Because I always end up reading your useless blog entries trying to find some info on the pictures, but it turns out to be a waste of my brain.

P.S. That girl you always post, thin, red head, always wears long gloves. What’s her name? Tell her she’s beautiful for me. Thanks.

Thanks

Hello Mr. Tony Pierce,

Just noticed that you linked to my blog amongst your many million

other links but I got at least one referall from your page so cool.

Oh, right, in case you don’t know who I am and are wondering just why

the hell some random person linked to you and so you randomly linked

to him, I’m Michael. I’m a friend of Allison’s (melting_dolls). When

she visited you I happened to be on IM with her at one point and

attempted a moment of humour by gasping that she was in presence of a

celebrity. If none of that rings a bell, then just wait a few years

and everyone will know my name….. or not. Whatever though.

Thanks for the link.

Michael

you’re a stud

Tony,

My boss just came by and asked me if I knew who Tony Pierce was and why

was he linking to our corporate website.

And did I know what the hell a “blog” was?

Apparently our website has been getting traffic from your link via my

flowage.

Sorry, I should have used my private email to avoid the confusion.

I told him that bloggers were people who wrote about what they wanted,

instead of writing what they were told to write (like I do every day).

I told him Tony is the coolest 110 year old blogger on the Internet and

that nothing he wrote was ever true. And that lack of truth must be why

Tony felt an affinity for our high-quality software products and linked to

us.

But more likely, Tony meant to link to something cool, hip or news

worthy and linked to my place of employment by accident. (Just kidding.)

He was, “oh well, any publicity is good publicity” and went back to his

leather-appointed office to nurse his Italian coffee.

Sam

if you’d like to email the busblog, just write to busblog at gmail dot com

matthew + tamarina + casey all had the guts to take the honest-bloggers quiz