huge mistake. the dude was cool and all. everything was fine. just sometimes you end up at the right place at the wrong time.
i left the place just wanting to die. every single one of my teeth has something wrong with it. it was like a bad dream. the lights were bright and i had to hold a mirror up to see and they were on the tv all yellow and gross and sick and disgusting.
five grand to fix em up the lady said and i work for a living. how am i going to get five grand to fix my teeth. and another thing: my teeth have never looked all that great. ever.
so the lady had me apply for a dental credit card through citibank. that was embarrasing too cuz working for the xbi ruins your credit.
so we had to settle on a root canal in a few weeks which will drain my insurance in one swell foop and i got on the bus right in front of the larry flynt tower in beverly hills and i thought so this is why the guy has naked chicks pissing in the pages of his magazine, so when he walks into situations and it all boils down to money he can say groan, “charge it.”
plus i hadnt eaten all day. as in all day. plus i hadnt slept all night. plus i could feel a disturbance in the force bigger than me and hark, the cubs got one-hit by big fat jason schmidt up in frisco
and in a perfect world today i could pick anywhere to be and it would be at pac bell park which is called something different now and i woulda written you from frisco and told you how life is there right now and i would cover the cubbies for your asses and i would be blogging right now from the 500 club with a full belly of a nice burrito from 24th and mission. el faro lito. mi amore.
theres a pretty girl sleeping quietly in my bedroom right now. she looks like a painting from a 50s watercolor from the changing room of a boutique on montana in the 60s. her eyes will devistate you and her lips will make you believe in fairy tales and her ass and her legs and her neck and her hands on your head and her toes and your legs
in two weeks i will have called california home for exactly twenty years.
in illinois i was part of the state’s best highschool marching band, i kissed mary huber, and i kissed laura hesterman, and tracey degrazia.
other than that, everything cool that ive ever done, i did in the golden state.
and if my teeth are beginning to rot its because ive eaten up every day here
and i’ll get plenty of sleep when i retire in vegas.
50 fishy circumstances about the nick berg beheading + mc brown + jack bog