long hair. bare feet. short nails. hot eyes. brown skin. smooth cheeks. wild mind. hard tounge. somehow bigger than life. somehow from another place entirely. somehow found the best people to migrate with. somehow made everyone better who she mixed in with. if msg had titties. nice full non allergic ones.

on a campus surrounded by beach there were hot chicks everywhere. she was the type of girl who was so sexy that she made you repeatedly reevaluate your girlfriend.

youd think things like my girlfriend doesnt climb trees. or walk around in a dayglow strapless bikini top and cut offs. my girlfriend cant roll a joint one handed while telling you about the dead show she was at last weekend. my girlfriend doesnt have lips like those or eyes like those or stories like hers or energy like her or pixie dust falling from her everythings.

and lots of the boys would say the wrong things to her and she would just exhale and run off or hop on an awaiting scooter.

magic powers of seductiveness that was equalparts innocent and guilty witchcraft and so natural.

she once made a man jump out of a two story building wearing a dress breaking both of his legs.

no one knows what she did or what she said to the young man to make him do such a thing

but theres no doubt

shes to blame.

she might even agree that shes to blame.

well somehow she ended up in the navy.

and the navy tamed her.

some folks say she was ready to be tamed and the navy was the luckier of the two because she could have sunk the whole damn fleet if she wanted, but she not only obeyed, she excelled.

one night she visited me in my san francisco bachelor pad, at the time she was stationed at treasure island, not far away.

in the middle of the night i noticed she wasnt next to me and i heard scrubbing and i went into the bathroom and she explained how she hadnt cleaned a head in over a day and it was weird for her.

so i let her clean the head.

real good.

so it wouldnt be weird for her.

and now shes a prison guard working death row.

where all the inmates love her.

and just last week she was on her vacation and she came through town and we ate at fred 62, the hip little coffee shop on vermont, and we drove around hollywood and beverly hills and sunset plaza drive, and everyone has a few people in their lives who will always love you and in their eyes you can do no wrong.

and thats

how i feel about linda.

lesbian + bukkake + berkley

hi tony, shouldnt you be resting your hands.

work has been slow last week, and today wasnt slow but it wasnt insane, so i figure i got 15 minutes i can write you with.

sweet, thanks.

what do you think about what that dude from ucla said?

i think you should get a second opinion and see if you could be doing permenant damage to your hands.

i know.

will you?

probaly not.

you suck.

i do.

dont you want to be a famous writer when you grow up?

i am a famous writer.

no, like really famous. like so famous that people will say, “holy shit, you want to put your new story in our magazine? yes! please do! and heres a basket of money!” ?

you make it sound so much different than how i imagine it.

well thats what its like. your hands, however, have to work properly.

i just want to tell good stories.

oh, well, in that case youre fucked. noone has any good stories to tell.

i do i do!

tell me a good story then.

one upon a time i met a girl named anna kournikova. anna at the time had never made love with an american. or a black man. so we considered her a virgin. the way she pronounced it was were-gin. it was cute. eventually we were doing it all the time and it was great.

(snoring)

then one day she said, you know what, blogger, i think i do want you as my boyfriend. but i said, nah, you need someone better than me. someone cooler. richer. who has his own car, and a good job. i could get killed flying for the xbi and then where you’d be.

tony, no offense but im sleepwalking. get to the point.

and then we both got carpal and had to retire, the end.

thats a terrible story, tony.

i know bloggy, but my bus is about to come.

ok, cool, write a better one tomorrow, k?

k.

It’s one of the best reads out there. But man, if I were you I’d drop the keyboard and never touch it again. RSIs like carpal tunnel are NOT something you can gut out and work through. The more you do it, the worse it gets.

I know. Here’s my story.

In Jan ’97 I remember feeling new wrist pain out of nowhere. I took it pretty easy after that. But it was dot-com times so I got a sweet job programming in May. By September I had to quit. Diagnosis: tendonitis of the wrist.

Here’s a list of things I tried: stretching, good posture, exercises, breaks, massages, Rolfing (more massages), drinking lots of water, Kinesis ergonomic keyboard (awesome keyboard, but way too late to make a difference), fingerless gloves to keep my hands warm, anti-inflammatory meds, soaking my arms in warm water to bring down the inflammation, creative visualization.

I did all of that shit way too late, it would have made a difference BEFORE the pain, but by the time the pain shows up, it’s too late.

So I headed back to school, cut way back on the typing. But it just got worse. After 3 months in school I couldn’t even write with a pen without pain. It took me a year of doing nothing before I recovered enough to be able to write and read. My wrists still hurt today, but I can function, I can type a lot. But I’ll never be able to work a full-time coding gig again, which sucks, cuz damn could I use the money.

If I could go back in time, I’d go back to Jan 1997, slap myself in the head and force myself at gunpoint to never touch a keyboard. Take a year vacation from keyboards, let all that cumulative damage repair itself. Cuz I ended up taking that year off later, only I was stuck with permanent damage to boot. And jokes from my friends about whacking

off too much.

I’d hate to not be able to read your blog, but dude, I’d hate even worse not to see you wrecked the same way my wrists were.

And I know other coders with the same story. There’s so much other shit in life to do, and permanent damage is seriously on the line.

But you’ll probably be as stubborn as I was — I regret how stubborn I was, how long I stuck in there, making things get worse and worse.

So if you have to keep going, at least check out voice recognition software like DragonDictate and NaturallySpeaking — this software wasn’t very good when I was coding, but it’s come a long way, I tried it 3 years ago and it was decent. And it would work a lot better for a blogger than for a coder.

The other thing is, don’t let them operate on you. From what I read on the internet, and from friends’ stories: that shit never helps for long. At BEST it’ll bring the symptoms down for a while before you relapse again.

– Jon from UCLA

doc searls + my perfect wife moxie + sksmith

here is a busblog flashback from 6/14/2002, the day that the Lakers had their last victory parade

today is flag day happy flag day, flag.

it’s okay in my book to celebrate such a day especially when our nation’s flag is the coolest of all and our state flag is pretty awesome as well.

somehow this week i forgot to tell you about our pal Ben getting a column published in FoxNews.com, which makes me think that FoxNews should just hire me to pick the columnists that will make their pages mightier.

one thing i learned in my teens selling stereos and tvs on commision is you want people to buy more than just one item. same should go with having people click on more than one link on your news site.

so if youre going to present to the world Ben Sullivan, you really should run a column from his sister Kate.

if youre going to run Layne, run Welch too.

or if you’re going to give the world Welch, let them discover his talented wife Emmanuelle as well.

post a point-counterpoint from two law professors, like Reynolds and Volokh.

on the old days at Wrigley they used to have Ladies Day on Wednesday, i wouldnt mind seeing Rabbit, Sara, Virginia, Seipp, Amy, Solent, and Dawn take over a column for a week.

ok, now i have to go back to my tv to watch the parade.

i hope Shaq freestyles again.

eric richardson + franklin ave. + travis smith