you’d think after eight years in office

theyd find something other than a blowjob to bash Clinton over, but nah.

and you’d think that Christopher Hitchens wouldn’t come across as such a rabid bitch in his whiny slate peice, but some people think thats the only way to get attention.


although it is sorta funny seeing hitchens so incredibly pissed off that michael moore even had the gall to make a movie about what most of america believes to be a pisspoor handling of the 9/11 tragedies and our president’s insistence to invade iraq even though bin laden had no ties to iraq.

here are some excerpts from todays 4,300+ word movie review in Slate:

*To describe this film as dishonest and demagogic would almost be to promote those terms to the level of respectability.

*To describe this film as a piece of crap would be to run the risk of a discourse that would never again rise above the excremental.

*I never quite know whether Moore is as ignorant as he looks, or even if that would be humanly possible.

* How dumb or thuggish do you have to be in order to counter one form of stupidity and cowardice with another?

And those are the nice parts.

Before Hitchens dared Moore to a debate, one that would be only slightly more interesting if rush limbaugh officiated it, or it was held in a steel cage, he reached so far as to defend president bush in the clip that is now being used in the farenheight 9/11 trailer.

“The president is also captured in a well-worn TV news clip, on a golf course, making a boilerplate response to a question on terrorism and then asking the reporters to watch his drive. Well, that’s what you get if you catch the president on a golf course. If Eisenhower had done this, as he often did, it would have been presented as calm statesmanship. If Clinton had done it, as he often did, it would have shown his charm.”

and then he fell for the red herring of trying to prove moore wrong about saddam’s importance and the war in iraq, when all along everyone at this point knows that iraq has nothing to do with 9/11 other than in bush’s mind.

either way i hope hitchens stops being jealous that moore kicked his ass by making a trifecta of documentaries that are the three biggest docs ever released in the history of film.

meanwhile hitchens has made 5-6 docs that no one has ever seen.

keep writing for slate, bro. i hope it gets you far.

ed smirk + matt welch + gonzo lives

i havent gotten any in two and a half weeks.

it’s the longest drought ive had in years. i had a good thing going with ms. kournikova but i think i fucked it up somehow. not sure how. but i think i had something to do with it.

last time we had it she wept it was so good. it reminded me of that movie strickly ballroom. two people who really knew how to whip each other around with precision and passion and controlled violence.

for a while i was nervous that the neighbors were going to think that i was killing her but then i stopped worrying about the neighbors. in the morning the girls always skipped home singing little songs or they drove me to work or they said bye to me a dozen times on my porch. nobody was being killed.

being 110 has its advantages. if i had experienced this sort of drought in my 20s i’d be chomping at the bit at this point. plus back then i didnt have the internet to distract me. plus back then i was bubbling over with testosterone. thats been drained sucked fucked beaten and syphoned out of me.

i also think the man had something to do with it too.

damn the man.

regardless, im happy that its down to a more manageable level. the testosterone. not the action.

one of the problems i have with the “older” bloggers out there that they hardly ever talk about their sex lives. so boring. plus theres a lot that they can tell the college kids. particularilly the boys. but they never do. they just go on and on about how michael moore is a big dumb idiot.

so boys, the best thing about getting older is you get better in the sack. not only can you last longer, but you can last as long as you want. the bad news is youre old and sometimes the ladies dont want you. the good news is you dont give a shit and they suddenly become intrigued and want you.

right now i dont give a shit but i know this feeling will pass soon. its still annoying because i know enrique isnt any good in the sack. anna knows it too. and admits it. but she likes his money power fame freedom. and i cant really compete with that. but i can bring it. and i bring it consistantly. its not luck. its practice concentration relaxation breathing and rock-zen.

by zen i mean an outerbody nothingness emptiness meditation freakyshit. and rock meaning you transform yourself into a heavilly tattooed beast running from the law taking a break only to be with the girl under you. your girlfriend. your lovah. your partner in crime. your fellowbeast. your date for the evening.

one reason to write every day is so that when the time comes you can say sexy things in your girl’s ear as you bring it.

i know for damn sure enrique isnt whispering threatening taunting promising shit in annas ear.

not like me.

i predict this drought wont last two and a half more weeks.

danielle + sk smith + daily pundit