a blogging problem. i know that theres nothing i can do to control it, so i dont try to control it.

what i dont know is why i cant get someone to let me blog for them.

and yes, ive asked people to let me do it.

for a pretty reasonable rate, if you ask me.

last night i got home, talked on the phone to a nice young woman who told me all sorts of sex stories. some about big strong men and what she likes them to do to her. some about pretty little women and what she likes to do to them.

it was driving me nuts, and because she lives on the other side of the country i asked her to leave me be so i could make some dinner. but instead she told me about how great i was with her back in the days where she and i had sex.

so i stayed on the phone a few more minutes to let her finish her thought.

and then my true love called, and we talked. and then i had to finish watching Big Brother from last week.

and then i found it was 10pm and it was time for me to start watching the 7 hours of C-SPAN coverage of the DNC convention.

now i am no political expert, and i hope i dont come across as being one.

i am the embodiment of a monday morning quarterback when it comes to politics. i know enough to be dangerous, i have access to the web, i have access to some very smart people who tell me if im way off base or sorta off base.

and then i have you.

after about 10 minutes of the convention i knew i wanted to blog all of it. all 7 hours.

i knew there was no way i could do that and get to bed at 3am, which is my bedtime when i know i want to do something big on my blog, as that will afford me four hours of beauty sleep.

which explains my rugged looks.

and now im writing you at 4:20pm, my second 15 minute break, because i HAVE to write because i feel like i havent written anything chit-chatty all day.

its a problem i have, and i am searching for someone to take advantage of it.

if i worked for a newspaper that said, pierce, i want two columns a day and a news article, i would say, sure thing boss.

if i worked for a website that said, tony, we want you to contribute to this group blog five times during the day and three times at night, i would say, sign me up.

but instead i get people who are all, whazza blog?

or i get people who go BRILLIANT, i’ll get back to you. but they dont get back to me.

i look around the blogosphere and nobody is doing half of what i do. some give snarkly little partisan links. some write once or twice a week. some bitch and moan in little paragraphs, but how many of them do all the things i do? mixing it up between writing fake shit and real shit, the photos, the links to the kids and the adults, the sports, the politics, the dating, the violence?

i could bust with the poems if im forced to.

i WILL bust with the poems if im forced to.

and yet my emails dont get returned. and yet i dont get respect from those in high places, and i get called out when i simply ask for a trinket from the blogosphere, an ipod.

begging, they accused me. as if i would fucking beg for an ipod.

all im doing is what the good book suggests, which is asking in order to receive.

and i have received. and i will add to the list of people who have flowed, but i cant right now because my break is nearly over.

all i want to do, in closing, is thank all of you for contributing in all the ways that you contribute. i appreciate the nice comments, and the nice emails. i appreciate the money and the gifts and the ladies who fly here and let me have my way with them.

which happens more than i let on.

and mostly i am appreciative to your readership. which is all that i really need. regardless if you comment, or flow, or flash.

writers need readers and this writer is thankful.

so, thank you for enabling my addiction.

cellar door guitar + the mollusk + popie

i wish i could say the same for his wife, but shes got some time to brush off the stiffness that happens when you try to sound like a senator.

when hillary just talks, shes fine.

when she measures her speech and mimics all the other fakers that came before her, she sounds like just another faker.

bill is as smooth as it gets. hes a better communicator than probably anyone on the planet.

too bad he’s been defanged of pretty much any power.

however, once in a while, like last night, he can show the world how it’s done.

here are some excerpts of the substance, you’ll have to watch cspan this weekend to get (and feel) the style. which, regardless of how you stand with him on his politics, is amazing to watch.

“We think the role of government is to give people the tools and conditions to make the most of their lives. Republicans believe in an America run by the right people, their people, in a world in which we act unilaterally when we can, and cooperate when we have to.

“They think the role of government is to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of those who embrace their political, economic, and social views, leaving ordinary citizens to fend for themselves on matters like health care and retirement security. Since most Americans are not that far to the right, they have to portray us Democrats as unacceptable, lacking in strength and values. In other words, they need a divided America. But Americans long to be united. After 9/11, we all wanted to be one nation, strong in the fight against terror. The president had a great opportunity to bring us together under his slogan of compassionate conservatism and to unite the world in common cause against terror.

“Instead, he and his congressional allies made a very different choice: to use the moment of unity to push America too far to the right and to walk away from our allies, not only in attacking Iraq before the weapons inspectors finished their jobs, but in withdrawing American support for the Climate Change Treaty, the International Court for war criminals, the ABM treaty, and even the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty.

12. devoy johnson $30

“Now they are working to develop two new nuclear weapons which they say we might use first. At home, the President and the Republican Congress have made equally fateful choices indeed. For the first time ever when America was on a war footing, there were two huge tax cuts, nearly half of which went to the top one percent.

“I’m in that group now for the first time in my life.

“When I was in office, the Republicans were pretty mean to me. When I left and made money, I became part of the most important group in the world to them. At first I thought I should send them a thank you note – until I realized they were sending you the bill.

“They protected my tax cuts while:

– Withholding promised funding for the Leave No Child Behind Act, leaving

over 2 million children behind

– Cutting 140,000 unemployed workers out of job training

– 100,000 working families out of child care assistance

– 300,000 poor children out of after school programs

– Raising out of pocket healthcare costs to veterans

– Weakening or reversing important environmental advances for clean air

and the preservation of our forests.

“Everyone had to sacrifice except the wealthiest Americans, who wanted to do their part but were asked only to expend the energy necessary to open the envelopes containing our tax cuts. If you agree with these choices, you should vote to return them to the White House and Congress. If not, take a look at John Kerry, John Edwards and the Democrats.

“In this year’s budget, the White House wants to cut off federal funding for 88,000 uniformed police, including more than 700 on the New York City police force who put their lives on the line on 9/11. As gang violence is rising and we look for terrorists in our midst, Congress and the President are also about to allow the ten-year-old ban on assault weapons to expire. Our crime policy was to put more police on the streets and take assault weapons off the streets. It brought eight years of declining crime and violence. Their policy is the reverse, they’re taking police off the streets and putting assault weapons back on the streets. If you agree with their choices, vote to continue them. If not, join John Kerry, John Edwards and the Democrats in making America safer, smarter, and stronger.

“On Homeland Security, Democrats tried to double the number of containers at ports and airports checked for Weapons of Mass Destruction. The one billion dollar cost would have been paid for by reducing the tax cut of 200,000 millionaires by five thousand dollars each. Almost all 200,000 of us would have been glad to pay 5,000 dollars to make the nearly 300 million Americans safer-but the measure failed because the White House and the Republican leadership in the House decided my tax cut was more important – If you agree with that choice, re-elect them. If not, give John Kerry and John Edwards a chance.

“These policies have turned the projected 5.8 trillion dollar surplus we left-enough to pay for the baby boomers retirement-into a projected debt of nearly 5 trillion dollars, with a 400 plus billion dollar deficit this year and for years to come. How do they pay for it? First by taking the monthly surplus in Social Security payments and endorsing the checks of working people over to me to cover my tax cut. But it’s not enough. They are borrowing the rest from foreign governments, mostly Japan and China. Sure, they’re competing with us for good jobs but how can we enforce our trade laws against our bankers? If you think it’s good policy to pay for my tax cut with the Social Security checks of working men and women, and borrowed money from China, vote for them. If not, John Kerry’s your man.

“We Americans must choose for President one of two strong men who both love our country, but who have very different worldviews: Democrats favor shared responsibility, shared opportunity, and more global cooperation. Republicans favor concentrated wealth and power, leaving people to fend for themselves and more unilateral action. I think we’re right for two reasons: First, America works better when all people have a chance to live their dreams. Second, we live in an interdependent world in which we can’t kill, jail, or occupy all our potential adversaries, so we have to both fight terror and build a world with more partners and fewer terrorists. We tried it their way for twelve years, our way for eight, and then their way for four more.

“By the only test that matters, whether people were better off when we finished than when we started, our way works better-it produced over 22 million good jobs, rising incomes, and 100 times as many people moving out of poverty into the middle class. It produced more health care, the largest increase in college aid in 50 years, record home ownership, a cleaner environment, three surpluses in a row, a modernized defense force, strong efforts against terror, and an America respected as a world leader for peace, security and prosperity.

“More importantly, we have great new champions in John Kerry and John Edwards. Two good men with wonderful wives-Teresa a generous and wise woman who understands the world we are trying to shape. And Elizabeth, a lawyer and mother who understands the lives we are all trying to lift. Here is what I know about John Kerry. During the Vietnam War, many young men – including the current president, the vice president and me-could have gone to Vietnam but didn’t. John Kerry came from a privileged background and could have avoided it too. Instead he said, send me.

“When they sent those swift-boats up the river in Vietnam, and told them their job was to draw hostile fire-to show the American flag and bait the enemy to come out and fight-John Kerry said, send me. When it was time to heal the wounds of war and normalize relations with Vietnam-and to demand an accounting of the POWs and MIAs we lost there-John Kerry said, send me.

“When we needed someone to push the cause of inner-city kids struggling to avoid a life of crime, or to bring the benefits of high technology to ordinary Americans, or to clean the environment in a way that creates jobs, or to give small businesses a better chance to make it, John Kerry said send me.

“Tonight my friends, I ask you to join me for the next 100 days in telling John Kerry’s story and promoting his plans. Let every person in this hall and all across America say to him what he has always said to America: Send Me. The bravery that the men who fought by his side saw in battle I’ve seen in the political arena. When I was President, John Kerry showed courage and conviction on crime, on welfare reform, on balancing the budget at a time when those priorities were not exactly a way to win a popularity contest in our party.

“Their opponents will tell you to be afraid of John Kerry and John Edwards, because they won’t stand up to the terrorists – don’t you believe it. Strength and wisdom are not conflicting values – they go hand in hand. John Kerry has both. His first priority will be keeping America safe.

“Remember the scripture: Be Not Afraid.”

the entire speech is here

blog experiment shakedown blegging show is almost over.

in less than 24 hours, you, the good readers of the busblog have donated $140 of your hard earned cash. and for that i am humbled and grateful.

thank you, kind souls.

that means that we only need 13 people today to flow $20.

thirteen, my favorite number.

7. c. rockwell $5

8. t. bradeen $20

9. mark p (from the UK!) $10

10. j. ford $10.01

11. sylkk $20

thirteen the difference between life and death.

ok maybe its not that dramatic, but…

heres what some of you are saying as you flow:

“i read your blog every day tony, you deserve an ipod!”

“Your blog gives me something to do when things are quiet at work, and for that I think you deserve an iPod. Good luck reaching your target!”

“here ya go man. thanks for making my work day in the cube a bit more enjoyable.”

“I think I’m sending money to you that I originally sent for blook II. Its just been sitting around since thanksgiving. Another way to describe giving is that 10 bucks is less than a magazine subscription but you put out way more than any magazine.”

damn straight, america, damn straight.

thirteen is the number, friends.

and ask requested by one of my loyal readers, i bit the bullet and set up an amazon page for those who wish to flow via amazon.

and of course, theres always paypal, my love.

and he’s been building houses for the poor while you’re buying complete seasons of friends on dvd through amazon.

he’ll be 81 years old come rocktober.

carter was in the navy for eight years.

“i served under two presidents. harry truman and dwight eisenhower, men who represented different political parties. both of whom who faced their active military responsibilities – with honor,” carter said, and pointed.

what jimmy carter tonight reminds us, is that every once in a while it might be a good idea to have a president who not only was a real military veteran, but one who could also win a nobel peace prize, and earn it.

i could see former president kerry many years from now continuing to serve the country and the world promoting peace the way carter does. and politics aside, a little class in the whitehouse isnt such a bad thing. neither is peace.

i know, wheres my granola.

6:04pm “they knew the horrors of war. and later as commanders in cheif, they exercised restraint and judgement. and they had a clear sense of mission.

“we had a confidence that our leaders, both military and civilian, would not put our soldiers and sailors in harms way by initiating wars of choice unless america’s vital interests were endangered.

“we also were sure that these presidents would not mislead us when issues involved national security.”

this is an old man telling you how it was in the old days.

and thats not so bad either.

“today our democratic party is lead by another naval officer, one who volunteered for military service, and he showed up when assigned to duty.

“and he served with honor and distintion. he also knows the horrors of war and the responsibility of leadership. and i am confident that next january he will restore the judgement and maturity to our government that nowadays is sorely lacking.”

now he’s hammering home the idea of trust.

“When that trust is violated, the bonds that hold our republic together begin to weaken. After 9/11, America stood proud, wounded but determined and united. A cowardly attack on innocent civilians brought us an unprecedented level of cooperation and understanding around the world.

“But in just 34 months, we have watched with deep concern as all this goodwill has been squandered by a virtually unbroken series of mistakes and miscalculations. Unilateral acts and demands have isolated the United States from the very nations we need to join us in combating terrorism.”

old man

kicked ass

science blog + ipod me + free speech pen pics

it needed to be sung again?

maybe he was making up for what that teengirl did to it.

by the way, the place is full now.

but damn is he singing this thing slow.

so this is what they meant when they said that kerry wouldnt accept the nomination until august. fuckin bebe isnt gonna finish the damn song till then.

6. j. osborne $22

al gore walks on with the snl band heavy on the slide guitar. kountry kitchen type feeling.

this is the guy who got more votes than the president, little respect band.

i feel bad for al.

seemed like a nice guy. won. and now hes sorta blackballed.

“you know the old saying, you win some, you lose some, and then theres that little known third catagory.”

“take it from me, every vote counts.”

“let’s make sure that the supreme court does not pick the next president. and that this president is not the one who picks the next supreme court.”

fascinating, a guy who can speak well and naturally.

5:13pm “and it is in that spirit that i sincerely ask those watching at home tonight who supported president bush four years ago, “did you really get what you expected from the candidate you voted for? is our country more united today or more divided? has the promise of compassionate conservativism been fulfilled, or do those words now ring hollow?

“‘for that matter are the economic policies really conservative at all? for example did you expect the largest deficit in history, year after year? one right after another?

“‘and the loss of more than a million jobs?’

“by the way i know about the bad economy, i was the first one to get laid off.”

oh, al. now im sorry i voted for nader.

“and god bless the united states.”

almost buddy, almost.

blogon pictures + buzzmachine + my delicious wife, moxie

told you those dudes were racists.

jk

2:13pm new mexico gov. bill richardson gets a great introduction and an even greater welcome. he’s the convention chair and gives a twenty second speech. my sorta man.

2:25pm hilda solis from california taking the podium to talk about homeland security and energy independence is greated to the snl band playing the ventures’ “wipeout”. is that an inside joke of some sort?

she’s speaking spanish just a little too much. drink.

2:30pm the lights dim, the snythesizer player hits a chord and holds it and we hear jfk reading a speech about passing a torch. drink. drink. drink.

the place is filling up.

2:31pm cali rep antonio villaraigosa is on the stage. slick as hollywood.

he’s national co-chairman of the kerry campaign.

“i was born on the east side of los angeles.” drink.

“my family lived in a hard-working home. racked by alcoholism and domestic violence.” uh.

“my father left when i was five, and my mother raised four children by herself.” drink.

“but america has been good to my family. one of my sisters became a judge.” drink.

“another a community health advocate, and my brother, a commodities broker.” boo.

he is talking about how democrats aren’t going to encourage jobs to go overseas.

third time ive heard that today, and im barely paying attention.

he ends with the three cheesiest words you could ever end a political speech with

god

bless

america.

drink.

drink.

drink.

ive heard enough of the opening act, now im going to fast forward to the big hitters, who tonight include carter, gore, hillary, and bill.

help me get an ipod

andrew tobias from andrew tobias’s managing your money is on there.

when i was a lad i worked in an electronics store. this was 1985-86. i was young so they had me working in the computer department.

i sold some kaypro machines, commodore 128s, amigas, 286 machines from zenith.

there was very little software for the ibm clones except for Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Word, and andrew tobias’s managing your money which was a way to balance your checkbook on your $1,500 computer that was like 512k of memory and had two 5 1/4 inch floppies.

andrew is now the dnc treasurer?

“it is a historical fact that the stock market does better under a democrat than a republican.”

1:48pm maureen white, dnc finance chair is the first hot babe. she has a cleft. how do you describe that? an overbite. great hair though.

shes reading. people should learn how to read better for these things. or how about not read at all. still nobody is there.

1:51 alice germond, dnc secretary walks to the podium and the band sounds like a high school band.

like the weird little jazz band on snl in that one skit, i forget which.

alice has a problem with her cleft too.

this sure is the party of inclusion.

1:56p the executive vice chair of the afl cio linda chavez-thompson is up there.

“im the child of cotton sharecroppers in texas.”

drink.

shes got a bright pink suit on. a lot of spunk this chavez-thompson. shes the dnc vice chair. i can see why. she reads way better than those others.

she doesnt like bush cuz hes anti union. a lot of people have glasses im noticing. i thought lasek was more popular.

shes intertwining “this land is your land” in her speech. drink.

shes short.

diary of a lost boy

is clearly reading, and sadly she wrote her own speech.

i always knew michigan was in sad shape, sen. stab(m)enow is as sad as those dilapidated homes i saw in 8 mile.

my question is, why then does kid rock and eminem refuse to move out here to cali?

1:18 the mayor of atlanta shirley franklin is exactly what jada pinkett smith is going to look like when she turns 60: thin, stylish, and powerful.

the flower in her lapel is gigantic. i dont think jada will repeat this mistake.

mayor franklin just “paraphrased” mlk. time to drink.

1:23 pm jersey rep bob menendez just said, “my family fled cuba, for this, the greatest democracy in the world.

drink.

1:30 california rep robert matsui is blabbering about some shit. he’s old. 63? 64? japanese looking. but he talks out of the side of his mouth and has a weird old timey accent.

not a japanese accent. but one like jimmy stewart in its a wonderful life.

it’s freaking me out man.

hes not reading from the teleprompter. hes reading from a pad.

1:31pm big apple rep gregory meeks has the mic. half hour in, and a real brotha it laying it out there. nice tie. nice hankie in the suit pocket.

meeks reads off the center teleprompter only. he squeezes his fists for emphasis.

i could pass that dude a thousand times and never know he would be a congressman.

i think thats good.

he cant say massachusettes, but he says cal i fore nuh with soul.

the secret exploits of a girl in her mid 20s

by tony pierce, 110

all times pacific

1pm: terry mccauliffe starts the show on time. theres a lot to be said of people who can get shit started when it’s supposed to.

sad thing is, far as c-span is showing, theres only about 100 people on the floor to enjoy it.

he’s shouting. i dont like people who shout on the mic. its why god invented mics.

1:02pm: rev. stephen ayres gives a nice little talk about the heroics of the guy who had to put the lanterns in the steeple so Paul Revere knew if the brits were coming by land or by sea.

it’s a good speech, and it made me shiver thinking what would it be like to see two lanterns up in there.

biggest best navy coming to get you.

he breaks into a prayer and people are walking behind him, smiling. so not cool.

1:08 an honor guard presents their flags. the colors. when i see military guys i usually dont think democrats. im not sure why.

1:09 a pennsylvania state rep comes on stage and gives the pledge of allegiance. the 150 people who are on the floor clap. the world doesnt end.

within the first ten minutes church and state has mixed with the military and nobody got hurt. if anything, it was pretty much ignored. as usual. as it should.

1:09 miss teen new mexico walks on stage. shes hot. sorta looks bitchy. maybe shes nervous. doesnt look like a teen.

starts singing like a teen. sings like she wants to be xtina. holds notes way too long. accents weird parts of the word. the two hundred people find it impossible to sing along.

oh no. she cant hit the high notes at ALL. wtf? i worked for the sf giants for a year in ’97. i heard the anthem done almost 80 times. do people not listen to the tapes? in all of beantown, this is all you got?

time to crack open a cold one.

linda

when i do i wont throw from in front of the mound like the next president of the united states did last night.

when i do, i will throw it from the rubber, atop the mound. like you should.

i know why people throw from the infield grass. because it’s easier.

not like 60 feet, 6 inches is far. but it is far for those of us who dont throw baseballs every day.

but that is where the problem lies.

sure basketball is what everyone talks about these days. and football’s tailgating and hoopla has had the nation in its bosom for years. and nothing beats the superbowl.

baseball is our national pasttime. simple and passive at it is, it’s the game we all love. and because of that we should be throwing baseballs every day.

and on top of that, the guy who wants to lead this fine land should be able to huck a four-seamer across fenway no problem.

shit, carnies can do it left handed and knock over thick steel milk bottles.

yes, i want to throw out the first pitch one day and when i do, if i did it at beautiful fenway, i will have to do a Luis Tiant wind-up

look up at the sky like fernando

and knuckleball that sonofabitch like the niekros.

and when i do it, i will do it from the rubber.

like a man.

one little caveat: in San Francisco there are many great things. one of them is called the Exploratorium.

many moons ago when i lived in frisco the Exploratorium had a few special exhibits celebrating the grand game of baseball.

one of the exhibits had a plastic mound, a home plate and a radar gun.

the idea was to throw the ball over the plate from the mound as hard as you could.

but what i discovered was it was difficult for me to even get the damn thing over for a strike.

and my speed was a paltry 60 MPH.

granted, i was 106 years old at the time. but it was a mean 106.

perhaps this is why you see people like Sen. Kerry scooch up a good 15 feet or so.

either way, the next leader of the free world should have a little mustard on his fastball.

lord knows castro can still bring it.

hit & run + aaron’s baseball blog + get me an ipod before the day is done