we hardly ever see each other. we hardly ever talk to each other on the phone.

we chat almost every day thanks to the miracle of the internet.

sometimes we’ll write an email if im up in chopper one.

when we get on the phone it can last for hours.

tonight was one of those nights.

its so hard not to get dramatic and lord knows i want to be as funny as i can in everything i write.

but could half you motherfuckers really be serious about four more years of this shit?

there was a time when i lived with two of the finest musicians you’ll never hear because life isnt fair.

one of them was named jeff whalen. singer songwriter guitar for the rock group tsar.

like most geniuses, he’s often misunderstood, frustrated, and criticised unfairly. sometimes however the criticisms are fair.

one night greg and i were discussing the existence of God.

everyone was pissed off.

and jeff threw his hands up and said, i feel so alienated right now.

not until today did i know what he meant by that.

if half this country votes for that fucking tool despite

well, everything–

this should be the example of a no-brainer in the dictionary.

it should be the epitome of a landslide.

it should be an answer on jeopardy.

“alex, ‘Duh’ for $500.”

“ken, this is the second-easiest decision mankind has ever made.”

“alex, what is electing michael jordan into the nba hall of fame?”

“thats right ken. the first of course being voting for john kerry over george bush back in 2004.”

after i read The Stand, i freaked out any time someone sneezed. i didnt trust anyone. if bush wins, how do you think im going to feel traveling to a red state.

sick.

thats how i’ll feel.

poindexters pretending that theyre voting to protect the nation by rehiring a failures failure.

worst in show.

deficit: fucked.

health care: fucked.

gasoline: fucked.

schools: fucked.

chances of buying a house in a decent neighborhood: totally fucked.

price of a fucking bullshit halfway decent new car: fucking $25k.

jobs: fucked.

war: fucked.

osama: laughing.

saddam: had no wmds.

cheney: still getting checks from haliburton.

powell: “we’re losing the war”

rice: “i believe the title [of the PDB] was, ‘Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States.”

rumsfield: “We know where [Iraq’s WMD] are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south, and north somewhat.” – ABC, 03/30/03

rumsfield: “As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to say We know there are some things We do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, The ones we don’t know We don’t know.” – 2/12/02, DoD

rumsfield: “Once in a while, I’m standing here, doing something. And I think, ‘What in the world am I doing here?’ It’s a big surprise.” — 5/16/01, NYT.

rush: You ever heard of emotional release? You [ever] heard of need to blow some steam off?”

ashcroft: lost to a dead man, nyt: worst att’y general ever

youre not just supporting bush, youre supporting all these fools.

here’s dubyas horoscope for tomorrow:

For November 2: You comfort others, especially this morning, and take the attitude that, no matter what, things will turn out fine. Your apparent acceptance creates comfort, strength and unity among friends and loved ones. Throughout the day, you can feel the future quickly approaching your front door. You anticipate change, travel or even moving, and feel at peace with the prospect. In fact, you begin to welcome the likelihood of change. Once you’re able to step outside of preconceived notions and expectations, you’re able to see the peace and beauty inherent in a new way of living.

here kerry‘s horoscope for tomorrow:

For November 2: First thing this morning, you are made aware of a groundswell of activity that benefits you. This powerful locomotive is unstoppable and likely to outperform everyone’s expectations. Even so, you will experience moments of uncertainty from time to time – but not for long. The best information indicates that your momentum is irreversible. You feel very popular and beloved most of the day. Even another’s petty criticism is too limp to hit a bullseye. Enormous changes that you’ve hoped for – perhaps your own personal miracle – can occur.

this is mine:

For November 2: Opportunities actually find you today. This is an excellent time for interviews, meetings and public appearances. Others view you as someone that is well worth betting on. Some of your past efforts also come up in conversation – mostly in glowing terms. Get out and rub elbows with colleagues, pals and decision-makers today, and look your most devastating because you’re sure to run into someone you know. One caveat: you will encounter one disgruntled ex-friend or former colleague. Don’t give this individual a split second of your time. Focus on the best the future has to offer.

and last but not least, here‘s america’s

For November 2: You comfort others, especially this morning, and take the attitude that, no matter what, things will turn out fine. Your apparent acceptance creates comfort, strength and unity among friends and loved ones. Throughout the day, you can feel the future quickly approaching your front door. You anticipate change, travel or even moving, and feel at peace with the prospect. In fact, you begin to welcome the likelihood of change. Once you’re able to step outside of preconceived notions and expectations, you’re able to see the peace and beauty inherent in a new way of living.

ken layne + oliver willis + mc brown + asshole

for Monday November 1, 2004

from dictionary.com

debouch \dih-BOWCH; -BOOSH\, intransitive verb:

1. To march out (as from a wood, defile, or other narrow or confined spot) into the open.

2. To emerge; to issue.

transitive verb:

To cause to emerge or issue; to discharge.

When the mill hands hassled Pete at the Manchester Cafe, he took off his apron, debouched from behind the counter and beat them senseless. –Richard Rhodes, Why They Kill

Bangladesh, one of the most populous spots on earth, is virtually the delta of the Brahmaputra and Ganga river systems, where numerous streams and rivers debouch to the Bay of Bengal.

— “Blood on the Border,” Times of India , April 23, 2001

. . . one of those ancient towns of central France where the streets wind upward from the railway track, through scowling walls of medievalism, until they debouch in the square outside the cathedral door, surveyed by huge stone animals from the cathedral tower and prowled around on Sunday mornings by cats and desultory tourists.

–Jan Morris, Fifty Years of Europe

Debouch comes from French déboucher, from dé- (for de), “out of” (from Latin de) + bouche, “mouth” (from Latin bucca, “cheek, mouth”). The noun form is debouchment.

EVEN THE DICTIONARY WANTS BUSH OUT

flagrant + write hard + bunnie

wrote me today and said, tony what are you going to do now that Nader isnt on the california ballot?

i was a little shocked cuz i didnt know that nader wasnt on the california ballot.

so since i dont vote for people who cant find their way on the ballot, choosing between the people that i now see on the ballot, i will be voting for john f kerry

who won the debates – in a sweep

who faught in nam and was a hero moreso when he returned and called bullshit

who was a senator for 20 years

who gives a shit about the enviornment

who is Christian and knows how to seperate church from state

who can stand in front of people and speak like a man who earned his college degree

who has no family ties to saudi arabia who were 15 of the 19 9/11 terrorists

who wont be giving any tax breaks to the rich

who isnt running with a vice presidential candidate who is profitting financially from the war in iraq

who wrote a friggin book about global terrorism and afghanistan back in 1997 long before it became trendy to yell out “terror” to try to get re-elected

who believes that a woman should have the choice to decide what happens in her womb

who will provide a much needed balance to the republican congress and republican supreme court because america works best when there is compromise.

and when im done voting, im going to hang out with the cool kids and party and drink

and pray like ive never prayed before.

springsteen speaking in wisconsin + murphy + kalipornica

What do we do if Bush wins?

–Tracy

Dear Tracy,

Bush isnt going to win.

He didnt even win last time.

Only reason FLA didnt want a recount, and why they went to the Supreme Court to stop the recount wasnt because they wanted to find out who actually won the fucking thing, they stopped the recount because they DIDNT want to find out who actually won the fucking thing and their man was leading.

So in the last four years has Dubya done anything – Even ONE thing – to get someone who voted for Gore to vote Bush this time?

hell no.

in fact he fucked up nearly everything he touched.

and with all these bogus polls telling everyone that its a tight race all its doing is mobilizing the stoned slackers who didnt vote in 2000 to put down their 6 footer for a few minutes and vote kerry.

America might be a lot of things, but we as a nation do not reward men who fuck our economy, who dont say squat about increased gasoline prices, or who take us to war for the wrong reasons and have us LOSE said war.

Republicans (or those who occassionally vote Republican) dont reward administrations who spend $200 billion to squash Osama and fail. Osama looks better after 3 years of Bush chasing him than I do! how does that work?

americans dont like being dissed by anyone named Bin Ladin. that video tape made Bush look like Elmer Fudd and made OBL look like Buggs Bunny nibbling on his carrot – it didnt make one person say, “gee, bin ladin is still around, i really need four more years of Dipshit to ‘protect’ my american ass.”

the idea that Only george w. bush can lead the fight terrorism is the most ridiculous concept ive ever heard.

fucker doesnt even know which countries are terrorists and which arent.

fucker cant even get terrorist #1 using all the kings horses or all the kings men.

what the last three years have shown is if theres one person who Cannot fight terrorism it’s George W. Bush

who couldnt even handle a physical at the Texas National Guard, so of course he can’t handle international politics, domestic spending, or war.

there should be a box next to kerry’s box that says “duh.”

what should you do if bush wins tracy?

you should riot.

burn the mother down.

cuz theres no overwhelming rush of new republicans coming out of the woodwork, but theres plenty of dems.

and if somehow they figure out a way to take away our freedom to vote and to have our vote count then they deserve the fires that will burn across this land.

bush didnt win the debates, he hasnt won our hearts, he hasnt won any new alliances in the world, he hasnt won either of the wars that he’s still fighting,

and he wont win this election.

jarvis finally calls glenn out + ernie the attorney + sk smith

tells you what she thinx

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