they just stand there proudly and glorious, varied and tropical.

they dont yearn to be oaks or miss their childhoods.

they dont whine to be transplanted or bitch when theyre trimmed.

parrots nest in their holey bits, ants march up their lower parts,

squirrels scamper, dogs piss,

tourists lean,

but theyre not mean.

o palm trees of foreign lands

watching patiently above the rock bands

who play on balconies next to the sea

o palm trees please talk to me

tony

palm tree!

youre nuts

palm tree!!

you need some rest

omg!

palm tree of the desert, palm tree of my dreams

palm tree of the summertime, palm tree of the forced rhyme

butterflies adore ye

so ignore the jealousy

of the maplewood, and the evergreen

and the wipporwill and the lesser trees.

but where are your coconuts

or bananas, where are your fruit cups

or fandangos

where is your toy suprise

wheres your blue eyes

wheres your hanging branch

for our tire ride?

oh palm trees of my day dreams

swaying gracefully in the heavy rains

never shiverring, always solid gold

soon you’ll make the best telephone pole

steve smith + ryan-mcgee + cat

tonight 2/4

ike turner, malibu inn

luna, el rey

berlin + bow wow wow, vault 350

george clinton, edgemar center

jose feliciano, cerritos center

leann rimes, roxy

atomic punks, 14 below

saturday 2/5

ritchie blackmore, wilshire theatre

briget the midget, the derby

cypress hill, vault 350

lewis black, wiltern

groovy rednecks, old town pub

sunday 2/6

the evens, mccabes

monday 2/7

night ranger + winger + la guns, key club

modest mouse, wiltern

soda and his million peice band, knitting factory

tuesday 2/8

TSAR – good hurt

modest mouse, wiltern

band sold seperately, 14 below

wednesday 2/9

kanye west, house of blues

herbie hancock, cerritos center

modest mouse, wiltern

gary busey, whiskey

third grade teacher, spaceland

candypants, derby

thursday 2/10

hank williams III, whisky

kid rock, house of blues

the evens, self-help graphics

knit and caboodle + vorsexia + perfect pear

people sit in my chair at my desk while im gone.

i find that rude.

where a man rests his ass should be sacred.

hot chick called me last night and wanted to talk dirty. i was cleaning up my house and wasnt in the mood. she said, come on tony youre usually great at this.

true, but i was preparing my casa for my virgin date tonight. so the conversation moved over to the haters in my comment box.

i told her that i have pretty good spidey senses and i can generally tell when theres an idiot leaving a dumbfuck comment, or a borderline fan who just wants attention and the other day it was the later so i didnt care.

she said what about the cub fans who are saying youre totally wrong about shawn green?

i said, sammy sosa, hottie, not shawn green. shawn green is a dodger. was a dodger.

she was all, im wearing your favorite stockings.

i said, people are free to have their opinions about sammy, id prefer that they wouldnt be so amazingly wrong about it but whatever, half this country voted for a chimp and would do it again. why do you think i drink so much rum?

she was all, how come you never clean up before i come over.

i said, cuz you just throw me on the bed and start biting too hard on my chest.

she was like, hahaha yeah.

the french doors were open and the wind blew the thin curtains over my balcony. a nightingale sang sweet songs of longing and a generator kicked on next to the trailerhome.

down the road an old vw bug accelorated squeakingly and the cheerleader whispered all the things that a dark knight my age would like to hear on a dark night in hollywood.

i listened closely and scooped dreyers girl scout thin mint ice cream into a large bowl

i want you tony she said

i searched for the hot chocolate in my cluttered fridge and found it

dont you want me

shook up a can of whipped cream that had no nitrous left in it

and a little spray of watery cream leaked out

and i said of course i do baby but i have to go now.

she said wait.

but it was too late.

and upstairs i heard the french doors slam shut.

and the frightened nightingale flutter away.

headache grey + raspil + sk smith