the wind is throwing all the dead palm leaves about,

the rain is doing some of that forrest gump movement flying this way and that, darting, dashing, going upside down, twisting like a paper airplane in a hurricane.

in the old days id be upset if my girl said “k, i will make a quick appearance, come and get you and we can go home,” and then make her showing an hour and change instead of a few minutes.

but in the old days i was an asshole who thought that fighting ever led to anything.

nowadays its an excersize in mellowness. how mellow can one be. how cool can you go. how sweet can your smile be and how real can you make it.

i know her heart is in the right place, i know how much her fellow swedes mean to her. her papa is a diplomat after all and shes a quasi princess, at least thats what the inscription in her crown says, at least thats what the sparkle in her smile says, at least thats the fear in the hearts of her parents whispers our girl is royalty how dare she hang out all night with aging tp3.

and the lights are bright at night inside the cold offices of the xbi when nothings going on and the security guards walk by and say never see you around this late, everything ok? oh yeah, great.

fights happen when one person pretends a little more than he should that hes been wronged. that he deserves something better. that he has been damaged in some way. i havent been damaged. shes just late. thats all. just late. the wind doesnt complain that its cold. the rain doesnt argue with the palm tree.

i think my spidey senses say its true.

yep. thats she.


mr fun + ultrablognetic + wiz bang

amazing race

season seven
cbs, tuesdays @ 9pm

not that the amazing race needed to change anything, but in order to get some fence sitters off the fence, as was my case, the jerry bruckheimer emmy winning gameshow hired Boston Rob and his fiance Amber from survivor to compete. brilliant idea.

during last night’s first episode of the season, the pair were definately the odd-couple-out. since they had already won fame and fortune on that other cbs reality game show, nobody wanted them to win and consipired against them. miraculously rob and amber did wonderfully despite their lackidazically still-in-love style.

heres their competiton:

the brentwood babes also known as the “lifelong friends”. these cute chickies won the race yesterday due to their familiarity with the spanish language – a plus. however their little meltdown with the llamas showed signs that under pressure, they just might crack. plus one of them is named bianca and biancas who give air kisses are probably not going to win the grueling nature of the amazing race.

the gay guys, who at every step try to remind us that theyre gay. but theyre nice enough to deal with and cbs hasnt shown them full on making out (yet) so i would imagine that even the most homophobic out there can deal with them. although one of them doesnt even seem all that gay and i have a feeling that maybe hes just faking it to get on tv. would one do such a thing? probably not. either way their chances to win are pretty low. i saw no magic in their first race.

the sweet old couple. for some reason they keep putting old people in these types of reality shows. maybe because that one woman won survivor way back when, but in truth she wasnt any retiree like both of these nice folks are. they cant run fast, they cant lift things, but they did a spectacular job of herding the llamas so maybe there are more suprises in store for us. grampa’s name is Meredith which provides a great drinking game of taking a swig every time someone calls the nice old dude by his girlie name. think of a new game soon cuz these coots wont be around long either. so to speak

the hot blondes aka the bims. i know i know, fake boobs and blonde hair doesnt necessarily mean that youre not all that bright, but these women are not all that bright, however theyre easy on the eyes and they love to wear the tightest of clothes so i will be pulling for them, so to speak. however take a picture as it will last longer than these two who barely didnt lose last night.

the pissed off dude team. last seasons angry dude was such a basketcase that he and his woman found themselves on Dr. Phil. this season’s a-hole doesnt even have a shred of possibility of redemption. last night as his on-again off-again girlfriend was choking while carrying a basket full of weed his words of wisdom didnt go further than “suck it up”. when they found out they hadnt lost and they were going to go to the next round his first words? “we could have done better,” and stared her down in front of the host. we can only hope that he steps in some lava in a few weeks.

america’s team. nobody likes “america’s team”s. less like self proclaimed ones. she is a former miss south carolina, he is a former iraq war p.o.w. shes as smart as a former miss carolina and he’s a war hero who i wont knock. however, if there werent so many inept contestants in this race americas team would have lost immediately.

the dudes. if rob and amber have to watch their back with any team it’s the handsome brothers who have no apparent flaws other than being too nice with the blondes. theyre not super smart but theyre not super dumb either. theyre strong, full of energy, and work decently together. theyre the male version of the brentwood babes. how can you root for the educated, handsome white dudes? you cant, so dont.

the gay guy and his mom. hes gay and quietly scheming. shes a mom and quitely scheming. he doesnt like rob and amber at All and she doesnt like anyone. she even claims that its ok to lie to win. nice going, mom.

the black team. you know i have love for my people. sadly reality shows rarely have love for my people. amazing race have usually found decent african americans to participate. one couple even won. these two wont. they wont even come close. i would be suprised if they get lost before they make it to the next race. it’s so very sad. next time hire OJ and kato as a team. or michael jordan and charles barkley. or todd bridges and gary coleman. if youre going to portray us as dim, at least make it funny.

like they did with the fat good ole boys who lost last night while being totally charming and lovable.

21mm + dave navarro + anti + simpleton

chief parks was at the wilshire and western metro stop today

handing out Vote For Parks signs as hes running for mayor of LA.

little does the former chief of police know, but wilshire and western, deep in the heart of koreatown, is populated largely with spanish-speaking folk who might not all be, ahem, registered to vote.

and the rest of them are koreans who arent all that in love with african americans, especially african american former police chiefs who werent all that loveable in the first place.

i realize the chief wanted to be surrounded by large groups of prospective voters sympathetic to his cause he should have moseyed down to the miracle mile. his problem is his voter base, fellow african americans, are in the pocket of mayor hahn, whose father gave more to LA african americans than even mayor tom bradley.

but because he chose a metro stop/bus stop filled with minorites that either didnt speak english or could not and/or would not vote, he was stuck in a conversation with me

his worst enemy

who had nothing to do since i had to wait for the bus.

parks: hi, are you planning on voting for mayor next tuesday?

me: what difference will it make who wins, LA is far too big to manage.

parks: cynicism this early in the morning? obviously i disagree with your stance.

me: dude, you people cant even get the busses to run properly, the subway to go places that matter, or even those escalators to work for a full week.

parks: how would you like the metro to improve?

me: lets start at the escalators and elevators. get new ones. i have used this station every day for four years. the money the city pays to mitsubishi to repair these peices alone can probably pay for new escalators and elevators at every station. and when you get new ones, get Otis ones, not mitsubishi.

parks: are you dissatisfied with the metro?

me: yes, look at all these rapids. three at a time. why are they rolling three in clumps? why arent they spread out every 4-5 minutes? you’ll get three in a pack ever 6-7 minutes. that’s not convienent to anyone. stagger them. old people ride these things. do you want old ladies standing out in the “safe” streets of LA waiting for a bus? spread them out and get more local busses. the rapids are fine, but we dont need as many of them, we need far more local busses.

parks: those are all good points.

me: sure they are, which is why nothing will ever happen. no one listens to the poor unless its an election year.

parks: have you considered entering government yourself?

me: of course not. you think i want to be in a shirt and tie taking crap by some cynical busrider on a wednesday morning about dumb crap like metro escalators?

parks: but you would be helping your neighbors and your community.

me: my community are the kids of isla vista. and if i ever get the chance to return there then i will run for mayor of that town and i wont involve myself in dumb programs like DARE or SANE i would actually work on ways to legalize things that should be legal and fix things that shouldnt break twice a week. good luck on your race but mayor hahn hasnt screwed up. you should support him, not try to bash him because you want his job.

and then i got on the bus

dan jeffers + steph + casey + today in the busblog