yes my wife lets me date

its one of the many reasons i married her.

she doesnt even mind if i date on our anniversary.

last night i had a few hours to kill before i picked up our lil moxie at LAX so i did something i never do: i networked.

as you know i have started freelancing at the LA Weekly, one of the greatest free weekly newspapers of all time, and luckily for me, it’s local. so when they invited me to a little mixer to celebrate their annual Style supplement i said to myself, you know, i hate going out in public but i really truly love the Weekly, ive read almost every issue since i moved here 20 years ago

and i can get a hot date

and i can hang out with my hot editor, one ms kate sullivan

and since its being held at chinese/thai Kung Pao Kitty on my favorite street hollywood blvd in beautiful downtown hollywood and since they promise chinese hor d’oerves, i will go.

and i did go, and it was fun, and there were models there and writers and free food and chinese beer and lo there was famous author luke ford and brit blogger jackie danicki who we got into such an engrossing conversation that i didnt even get a chance to either network nor hang with my editor.

but its cool. i would have liked to get the sxsw rundown from ms sullivan but instead i was entertained by the tipsy mr ford and the totally tapped into the blogosphere ms danicki.

she told me hella things off the record which are pretty interesting.

and she blogged a bunch about the party, as did luke, who said this about my date who was a lot like my last girlfriend, except last nights was korean, which i agree with luke, are so supernice.

My whole night lit up like Korean fireworks when I ran into Tony Pierce and his beautiful 24-year old Korean date (doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t lend herself to other blokes).

Tony always has the hottest chicks (he brought Karisa to my book party). How does he do it? He doesn’t even own a car.

I fear that once they’ve gone black, they’ll never go back. How can you keep them on the farm once they’ve seen Paris. Tony is very Paris.

We both want to cross the DMZ and invade Helen’s Korean peninsula which juts so provocatively into the Pacific Ocean, just sticking out there, all tempting like, driving wild a warlike people like Tony and I.

For the next two hours, I talked nonstop, trying to test how far I could go with offensive positive generalizations about Asians (smart, polite, courteous, cute, eager to please) before I offend the born-again Christian.

Nothing I said seemed to throw her. She laughed at all my jokes. She must have a great sense of humor and be highly discerning.

Koreans are the best. They are far better looking than the Japanese and they don’t rape whole countries. My whole dorm floor at UCLA was filled with Koreans and they had broad friendly faces. I was so grateful that somebody was studying math and science so that I could receive quality medical care in my old age.

and then my date dropped me off at the airport and i met moxie at baggage claim, we got her porsche out of long term parking, and we drove to her place for some monkey business.

i dont know how i do it either luke.

i think it has something to do with something that starts with L and rhymes with fuck.

luke + jackie documenting how when i get drunk my left eye starts to close + oliver willis + negro please

the week in rock in la

tonight 4/1
motorhead, wiltern
aquabats, vault 350
the groovy rednecks, cole’s
blowfly, alex’s bar
phranc, highways
u2, the pond
warren g, universal
hellride, 14 below

tomorrow 4/2

mastodon, troubador
u2, the pond
soundtrack of our lives, avalon
the roots, usc mccarthy quad
the platters, kodak theatre
soccer mom, the cat club
explogasm, knitting factory

sunday 4/3
ozomalti, farnsworth park
radiators, cafe fais do do
peter himmelman, borders (westwood) (free)
the filthy thieving bastards

monday 4/4
jimmy chamberlin combo, troubador
holy ghost, spaceland
hello fever, the echo

tuesday 4/5
u2, staples
drive-by truckers, ameoba (free)
doc martin, viper room
bastard noise, the smell
bodeans, roxy
dizee rascal, el rey

wednesday 4/6
my life with the thrill kill kult, vault 350
u2, staples
trick daddy, house of blues
the cave sluts, 14 below
the best story book ever, genghis cohen
black sativa, whisky

thursday 4/7
morris day and the time, vault 350
jimmy buffet, the pond
heartless bastards, spaceland
hot hot heat, amoeba (free)
the fucking champs, the echo

funny ass photo essay about saving a fish + via amy + superjux + fc bearded

apparently i am a white guy who runs a porn magazine

from Laura Kovacs blog:

Tony Pierce’s blog has gotten really interesting to me. I actually think he’s in charge of a porn magazine or something like that (he talks about Lick a lot, I think that’s the name), but he has some interesting posts. I found him through Peter, who found his how to blog post that has gotten a lot of attention. He posts like 5 times a day or more, so if there is something not too interesting (like Motley Crue right now), I just move on to the next entry. Of all the blogs I have on Bloglines, his is the most interesting and thought out I think. And I am trying to follow his laws of how to blog, at least some of the time. It’s hard to post every day when all you do is go to work, come home and watch tv, then sleep.

from downtown alleys:

anyway, let me start by saying i dont read many blogs. there are a few, which i’ll list for you below, in a very generous fashion, but usually i dont really give a fuckin rats ass about a single thing most bloggers have to say. like there is this guy. who everyone seems to be freakin about. like, all my homies [in cyberland, which in of itself is kinda strange] is on his tip. and these are people i respect! they all think he is, how do you zey in de american, zey “bomb?” so i inevitably went to check him out and he just seemed to be some white dude in LA. i mean, he didnt come off as offensive or stupid, he could actually be a pretty swell guy. i just didnt care. see, being a heterosexual male from san francisco, and now living in brooklyn, by rule, i just dont care for white guys in LA. i dont even put enough energy into it to NOT LIKE them. i just dont care. and when i read his shit i got that same feeling i get whenever someone mentions a white guy from LA. meh. but he seems to be the ruler of bloggerverse and all the shorties wanna lick his dick. whatever.

and he is the only one i culd think of off the top of my head [bravo white guy from LA. you stood above the rest. i guess, in the end, you win. and that was TOTALLY in a gay way], so im just gonna say that most blogs i have read are people whining about feelings they wish they had. they are just bored and looking for attention [kinda like me] and want someone to say “yes i understand.” there is nothing wrong with this, im just not tryin to waste my time reading it. hell, id rather write crap than read it. i thought that was the way it was supposed to be done. apparently, there is a whole other art to blogging. and its one i trust. see, its best if you write something that people might want to READ.

gossipger + flagrant + ms. wheelchair wisconsin stripped of title for standing up (h/t mefi)

well, it was bound to happen one day.

me and moxie and moxie pleaded with me to announce this yesterday like she did so people would acutally believe us, but i put Lick up so it would be on time. then we got it on for the sixth time and because im olde i passed out in a happy little heap in the last bachelor pad that i will ever have.

the first person who knew was my landlord. I told him two weeks ago that I was going to propose and if she said yes I would like to get of my lease. Because I pay so little rent you could see his smile through the phone. He’s been trying to get me out of that apartment for years. The place on the left and the right are now renting for twice my rent and my place is bigger and better than both of them.

then i had to tell my college girlfriend Jeanine who picked out the ring and put in a bigger and better diamond. Moxie is a classy girl, so we decided a vintage ring was the way to go.

i also told karisa because of all the girls i know, for some weird reason i thought i would eventually marry her. she and i get along perfectly, and we share a lot of similar beliefs, but shes the wrong sign and we’ve never gotten past that. and now that she has a man who is all the things that i will never be: tall, rich, hung, i knew we’d only be Just Friends.

if only we woulda had one night in the sack, i know she woulda come around… oh well. a man needs friends. im told.

the last person i told was my “true love”. she knew how close moxie and i have been over this year, but i wanted to make sure that there was no way in hell that she wanted to get back with me. chris was clear. she said there was no way in hell. i was all what if hell froze over. she said even if hell froze over i wouldnt be getting back up in that shit.

i didnt tell my mom, cuz she woulda wanted to come to the ceremony, i didnt tell my friends cuz they woulda wanted to come, she didnt tell her friends or family cuz they probably woulda said, “youre marrying a black liberal?”

many funny things about this relationship and our blogs. even though i say that nothing in here is true, the belief out there is that i have a turnstyle to my apartment where all the hot young ladies of la just come in and out. so not true. shit, look at me!

then moxie has been sobbing over these totally ridiculous boring NOT HANDSOME bros and people totally believe it. have none of her readers ever met her or looked at her? the girl is fucking on fire. and smart. and funny! and totally parties.

who on earth would believe the crap that she has been writing over there?

apparentely everyone.

so we went with it. i wrote about dating cheerleaders (which i was doing up until about a year ago) and she wrote about being all bummed out with her love life (which was the furthest from the truth).

this valentines we had a super romantic day, and she tried to give her readers hints that she wasnt going out with a long haired pretty boy bush lover. tell me that illustration isnt the epitome of me and my new wife.

and lately, if youve noticed, ive been putting up lots of pictures up of my favorite family, the cobains. moxie has always wanted to tie me down, and ive always said that theres no way i could marry a republican with no ass. her arguement was that kurt got married in his twenties to a woman who might not have been the most stable person for him, but they made a beautiful baby who will probably save rock and roll.

she said our children would save america, and thus the world.

so i was in.

it didnt hurt that she f’s like a beast. 4 times a day is rare. normally we go 6-7. she claims thats what normal people do when theyre in love. apparently ive only been in love a few times cuz i dont remember that sort of action.

because we never talk about politics, ever, we never fight. if Bush does something stupid and we’re watching tv we will change the channel. i will laugh to myself quietly, but i wont bring it up. if i do she tells me she wont put on the little slinky thing she knows i like, so i shut my trap and say something like, ooh, look at the new beyonce video.

i will reserve talking about the special day that i proposed and we eloped cuz some things should remain private. both of our lives are generally public, to a point, but some things are extremely personal, and thats why we got hitched the way we did. shes a deeply personal person and i couldnt care less what people think one way or the other, so it was cool with me to keep the affair, proposal, and nuptials just between her me and the lord above.

feel free to meet us for drinks at Marie Callendar’s on Wilshire on Monday after 6pm, which is a few hours before the Tsar show at the El Rey.

we love all of you and we plan on celebrating with everyone on Monday and later this month.

mox’s announcement + the first time we met + more pics from that day