people get jealous and freaky. if ashley and i were still best of friends she would have been sure to have said a few choice words about the pics, and because danielle and i are still chummy she not only called me today to point out that i have new pics of karisa

but

she asked me to dinner tomorrow night at our favorite place, thaitown’s best, palms thai.

i told her that i couldnt sup with her because i and doing that with my exes chris and jeanine, but i could luncheon with her if she drove up from diego as soon as she got her pretty head off her pillow.

she wasnt sure until i told her that i would give her the full photo shoot treatment. she said deal and promised to call me in the morn. i forgot to tell her to bring a few outfits for the vault but hopefully shes reading this, in which case, hey bring some outfits so i will have some stock pics for the future.

awesome. so people wanted to know what the purpose of karisa and i having lunch the other day was all aabout and it was to celebrate her first modeling job. it was for this laser removal brochure which she is holding up in the photograph. as you can see she was upset because all they wanted to use her for was her hip ass and leg. she said it made her feel like an objectified bodypart and was disappointed that they didnt use any pictures of her whole bod including her face and hair which she told me they spent hours babe-ing up.

i was all kid welcome to hollywood.

she was all, do you think they thought i was fugly?

i was all, yes.

she was like what!

then i said, jk baby, youre a hot chick and everyone knows it and even though this is lalaland not every model gets her sweet face on the cover of mademoiselle, you posed for the cam, they took the pics, and they chose the part of you that would best sell their service. instead of being pissed you should tipout the photoshopper.

and she nearly threw her five dollar cup of soup at me and said, no photoshop was used thank you very much!

and i was all bullshit

and she was like ten bucks.

i was all, whoevers right pays for this lunch.

and she stood up and pulled down her puma jogging pants

and not only did i have to pay for our lunch but the joke was on her cuz i was gonna pay for that shit anyways sucka!

and tomorrow and this weekend you will see some hot pics of danielle who is a super cute yet quite competitve gal and with her pics you will also get to hear part two of our convo which isnt, i swear, about uteran operations, its far sexier and funnier and easier on the ears.

cubs lost today and dusty had the rookie throw 120 pitches and when he ends up in the DL in a few years you cant say its cuz he tossed too many curveballs, it will be because dusty baker is the most overrated manager in baseball and is a pitcher-killer.

ct + sk goes wig shopping + alecia + muscle68

was that i barely had any dreams. people were all, of course you had dreams you just didnt remember them. but no, i hate dreams, i woulda remembered them.

for the last three nights in a row ive had the most disturbing dreams, and if it keeps up, and yes im talking to you dream factory, im going to get back on the pipe.

last night i dreampt that i was in jail.

it was a really nice jail in that everyone was mellowed out and there were lots of rolling stone magazines, but like in real life, everyone just walked on them and ignored them.

after a while i got a little uptight and i wanted to know why i was in jail and when it would be over. there were no answers for me. everyone just wandered around doing laps like fish in a huge tank. and like a fish i tried to stay away from the big ones and kept moving, looking for a place to hide.

fucking hate dreams.

my car is in the shop. looks like theres not that much work to do on it. tire rotation, oil change, tail lights, liscense plate light, tune up, radiator flush, battery cleaning, ashtray cleaning, you know.

theres a mechanic right next door to my post office box and hes a super nice dude. and now i really trust him because he didnt try to say my breaks were bad.

i disagree with sk. just cuz you have two things to talk about doesnt make them good.

i watched some porn last night. not because i needed to but because i get it in the mail every 5-6 days. i saw some of the most hateful smut ever. as balky said in beverly hills cop, thats not sexy. the filmmakers’ moto was that they didnt follow trends that they set them or some shit. if the trend that they were trying to establish was that they were making porn that made you disgusted with sex then they were indeed setting the standard.

then i watched some interracial porn. black dudes and blonde girls. everything was going well until this huge musclebound black dude knocked on this blonde girls door and he had this huge honkin… cross on his chest. wtf! exactly what part of Jesus or the bible is sexy in that context? infact i believe its a turnoff. why do they think i want to see a cross swinging as my dude gives it to her hard and strong?

must i teach the world everything?

no crosses in chicks cleavages and no huge crosses as a dude is getting his board waxed. sheesh.

i fast forwarded and didnt even break open the asian pr0n because i was sickened by the lack of art in the adult world and i passed out in a disgusted mess without even taping big brother for my buddy ken as i had promised.

i need to stop making promises, although i have been cleaning up my house and getting my shit together, so im proud of that.

and i do have part one of my podcast with tomdog of Buzznet and Rogue Cheddar fame up and all went well until the twenty minute mark when my battery died.

so go here to hear part one (about 20 minutes) and later i will have part two up because Tsar rocks Albany tomorrow night and if you go you will get to hear great tunes and get to meet tom!

tomdog’s buzznet page + tomdog’s blog + tiiimmayyyyy + mc brown