three years ago

today i interviewed 15yr old lauren pony in a photo essay…

anna always tells me that i never tell the loyal readers of the blog when i have done a new photo essay or a new interview or done something to the web site.

so since i told her i wasnt going to do anything like that until she came back to tennis (which she did yesterday in Dublin) follwing her most recent injury… where was i?

oh yeah, i had the opportunity to chat with one of the hottest new girls of bloggerdom, lauren from madpony.

lauren is fifteen, an equestrian rider, is that how you say it? and an all-around funny chick.

my guess is she really does know how many days are in november.

her older sister kristin is in a sorority in oklahoma and will hopefully agree to an interview soon too.

people write in and ask me why i give these girls so much love. thats easy. they’re funny. theyre smart.

and they both hype the busblog nearly every day.

they credit this blog with the success of their blog, which has only been around for less than a month, and yet i havent made their hall of fame. interesting. perhaps there is more to the nomination process than meets the eye.

some things that did not come out in the interview: lauren is a super fast typist. its crazy. she can do three lines before im done snorting one. [ rimshot ].

thank you.

she really does like the pancake maker that was first popularized when my good pals bonnie and charlie got one for me for my birthday. see, those two kids’ love has spread across this great land of ours.

is lauren taken? well thats a question that i didnt bother to ask. for all you boys still in highschool, lets just say perhaps you should ask her yourself. for all those men out of her age group, yes, shes taken and shes jailbait, so move on.

regardless, here is the interview. click the pictures to advance to the next page, and feel free to tell me how great it all was in the comments below.

[editor’s note, long time readers of the busblog know, but the newbies might not, it was because of a post by Lauren in Madpony where she killed me in her fictional tale that inspired me to run with her storyline that led to what is now known as Stiff… on sale now… makes a great gift…]

lauren’s myspace page + kristin’s buzznet page + a mess of other photo essays

she was twenty four

dark skinned, bootylicious, attitudinal, needy, and hairless.

she had convinced me via email that i was dating too young and too white.

as a registered Independent i do my best to keep my mind open in all walks, including politics, including fast food choices

so why not pussy.

she asked me why i didnt date sistas and i told her it was because they remind me of my sister.

she asked me why i didnt date mamis and i said cuz they remind me of my mommy.

she asked why i didnt go downtown and i said just because im a Black man doesnt mean i dont go downtown but youve gotta deserve it

she pushed me back and said oh im gonna make you wanna take that incredible journey

and she danced to a silent slowjam which soon wasnt so silent.

the problem with having an everything and nothing blog is its like having many wives of different backgrounds. you have to please them all sometimes at the same time, which, fratboys, doesnt always mean carnal wishes for not all your wives yearn for that sort of attention

sometimes a few of them just want to take a walk in the woods by the cool river

sometimes a few of them just want to have you talk with them as they make dinner

sometimes a few of them just want you to pounce on top of them and whisper heres your nigga

and sometimes they growl but they really wanna play follow the leader

and the black man in the jungle is the leader so dont forget it.

yesterday i wrote two and a half posts about a controversial group of bloggers who have been under scrutiny for a variety of reasons since even before they launched several months ago.

i had written about them before and little did i know that one of those posts would strike a nerve with several of the participants and create bizarre reactions and an unexpected spike of attention.

it made the respected right wing blog winds of change to speculate that i connected the dots the way i did to generate the attention.

before i got ads on my blog i would have blown off such slurs by saying “who cares if i get peaks of traffic, i aint got no ads, so who cares if people link to me,” and i thought long and hard before getting ads and i decided that if i was to have them id have to do something so that people would never be able to distrust my intentions by assuming that i wrote something simply for hits and therefore higher adrates.

so what i did this summer when i finally accepted ads in the busblog was i asked for triple the rate of other bloggers who had the same hits as me. that way even if one day i got double the hits that i normally got because of some freak spike, no one could say that i was doing it for money because motherfuckers i was already getting triple the market rate just being me.

the ladies of the house who care about finances love me for this but those whose desires are more sensual and animalistic dont bother with petty things like blogs and theories and zeroes and ones and admitted propaganda and group think lockstep anyonebuthilary hosting models

all they care about is nookie

all they want is what god gave me

all they need is lust

so for you, my many wives of my many mansions who have felt neglected by the petty pace of the day to day, my apologies and on bended knee i ask you to not forget me

and dont ever think ive forgotten you.

this morning she woke me quietly silently playfully

working it carefully like a drowsy kitten with a ball of yarn

wanting to do something else but instinctually needing to keep a paw on it

ears peaked

tail peaked

and quietly purring

i thought how could a girl as fine as this one not be totally bored of these games by this age, surely every man whose crossed her path has offerred or insisted or demanded or been accepted and certainly shes seen so much of what she appears amazed of that its old hat now

but the beauty of the world i keep learning is nothing is predictable

and people have far different lives than what they lead on to

and sometimes the hottest chick

fucking loves being the hottest chick

and loves

being loved.

mitya + planet claire + pitt + martini republic