what do you say? here in LA this shit happens all the time, its just very odd for it to happen to me.

truly there are dozens of shows being taped all over this town.

but today in a studio about four blocks from the front door of my true love the cameras were aimed at me and everything that i said got shot around the entire world.

50 million people they tell me.

and theres so much i forgot to say cuz it went speeding by soooo quickly.

i wanted to say

hi

i wanted to say

merry christmas

i wanted to say

anyone can succeed at blogging with a little practice

i wanted to say

i love you

i wanted to say

it’s ok.

god was i nervous today. i was nervous all day. but it was a good nervous.

i told the lovely producer named cat that i dont experiment with the things that they poisoned me with in college any more,

not because i have anything against it but because theres bigger highs out there now, ones that make you see trippy things or feel weird feelings

but in the morn you dont have to recover for a whole day.

or be paranoid that the cops are going to crash through the window.

i was late for the chauffered ford expedition, i was burning a tsar cd for cat, i was trying to find my ipod headphones

but i didnt need them because me and the driver became instant friends and we talked all the way there through not so bad traffic

and we talked all the way home through really horrible rushhour traffic. fuck!

and nearly when i got home i asked him if it would be cool if we went through the drive through and he said sure and i had realized that i hadnt eaten all day except for a little nibble of a rice krispies treat in the green room

and i gorged that mc rib and thought about getting makeup applied on my swill mug and bald head

and i thought about meeting the kool kids from the tv station

and i thought about how amazingly comfortable i felt in front of the cameras

so much so that i didnt even notice them. i just talked to kevin and blazed through his questions and didnt shake and didnt stutter and didnt stammer and didnt do a lot of the things that i do in regular life

for some reason the addrenalin and the butterflies took over and blocked the demons who were so shocked that i was even there that they didnt stand a chance.

and there was a dude in the hallway that i met after the deal who said that he was the one who got me on the show and i want to thank him and apologize for not remembering his name but my mind was blown and if he emails me i will send him a book

because in a year where many many many cool things happened to me

this was the coolest.

and when i finally got home and sat down in front of the tv

and saw myself in that profile i smiled from ear to ear and said

shit, im getting fat.

i took this one so you could see what i saw + the set + the the avi + thanks to everyone, especially cat! + the web interview

two years ago tomorrow on the busblog the only blog you’ll read today written by an african american let me say a few things about how i feel about kwanza, since its approaching and all.

fuck fucking kwanza.

motherfuckers.

kwanza.

our fucking dude was born and youre going to even for a second whip out some fucking bullshit kwanza nonsense.

motherfucking santa claus wasnt enough?

my bro ian drove me home today from work. we were going to the mountainside hollywood hills secret lair so usually we just go straight up wilton.

wilton north of beverly has some kickass homes. two million dollar ones. million dollar ones. big ones. bigger ones.

huge ones.

on some of the huge ones i saw some equally huge christmas decorations. i saw a blowup snowman that was at least a story tall and twenty feet wide.

i saw christmas lights the size of footballs.

and yes, i saw some gigantic images of santa claus.

of all the people in the world who should be saying, man im glad you were born, my lord, it would be them.

but instead they celebrate the birth of their messiah with huge images of winnie the pooh wearing a fake white beard

like fools.

and then theres kwanza.

one thing black people can do well is praise jesus. we do it better than anyone in the world. the music we make when we do it might be the most magical of all music, the preachers we have might be the best there ever were, and the clothes we wear to church are the sharpest.

then on the flip side we have our brothers and sisters who are muslim, and watch them pray. they win at praying. they win at pilgrimiging. they win at letting their spirituality become a solid and regular part of their lives.

with those two options, theres no need for any damn kwanza. some watered down bullshit made up strip mall phony holiday so you can wear a koofi? fuck that shit. we need to focus up on the biggest birthday of the year. we dont need no stinkin kwanza getting in the way.

black folk, the racists want us to have kwanza. it makes us look ridiculous and lost. kwanza represents something missing from being Christian. racists dont want black folk being Christian. they dont want to be equals to us. they dont want to share beliefs, they dont want to have anything to do with us, cuz they know that familiarity destroys ignorance, and only the ignorant can remain hateful.

worst thing you could do to a racist is go to his church, stand next to his daughter, sing the songs better, know the word better, and exclusively talk about america as if its your home and has been for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years longer than him.

watch him smile when you talk about africa, cuz thats where he wants you.

keep your koofi.

pass the turkey.

read the bible.

f old santa

and the kwanza

and the reign deer

and the pooh bear.

and the sleigh bells

and the dead trees.

get on your knees

thank the savior

wrap your presents

say your dumb prayers.

negrophile + laist + free keg of stella tomorrow in burbank

Baldilocks emailed me and told me that even though she disagrees with me on a lot of major topics, and even though she was sorta turned off by all the hotbabe content that i have on the busblog,

for some reason she respects me and wanted to let me know that she had just put the busblog on her permalinks.

and ive gotta say, thats class.

so give it up to Baldilocks, who i disagree with alot, and am turned off by the lack of hotbabe content that she has on her respectable blog, and because she’s leading the way of class i put her on my blogroll to the left, and on todays daily specials.

leave it to a baldheded african american pajamas media conservative to show us all how its done.

i got to bed early last night because of the evenings hot chick.

i have no idea why ive had such luck in that area but when it rains it pours.

perhaps the word got out that i had a new bed and the ladies were curious.

perhaps the shickzas (sp?) found out that i was interested in dating some nice jewish girls so i could find out if i was indeed anti-semetic and wanted to distract me away from my mission.

maybe its just been a little too cold at night here in hollywood and these aspiring runway models have become bored with their electric blankets.

regardless, ive not had to click the switch on mine for a week and im grateful.

the problem though with guests is they dont always want to watch the television programs that you want to watch and some of them dont even want to watch television at all(!)

obviously i have no long-term future with them but last night i was able to catch up on the Apprentice and Survivor with a little lady who had also not seen the last two episodes of either of these so i got a nice fire going, ordered some Indian to be delivered and we camped out in front of the 35-incher.

and may i say, as far as a first date goes, you can learn a lot from a woman after watching four hours of reality tv with her. far more than going to dinner and a movie.

with reality shows you can discover how her mind works, how she is with strategy, what she things about relationships, communication, fair play, and politics. plus how can you beat being under a blanket with a fire blazing with the lights off?

she won me over when, during the latest episode of Survivor she agreed with me about the Survivor Curse of the Car.

each season Survivor has an episode that includes a challenge where the winner receives a Brand New Car. and over the last 10 years of Survivor they have had an interesting pattern where whoever wins the car eventually gets voted off by their obviously-jealous tribespeople.

so what Survivor did brilliantly last night was 1) acknowledge the “Curse of the Car” and then 2) offer to quell the Curse

what those fuckers did was roll out THREE other cars, and Jeff Probst said, ok, heres an option, either you can keep your car or you can avoid the curse by declining your car but give a car to each of your four other members of your tribe.

now maybe i am a socialist liberal commie fuck that some accuse me of being, but Immediately i thought, “when would i ever have the chance to give four people a car, and look like a hero by giving up my car to do it? id go for it.” and just as i thought that, chickie said it aloud.

and just as she said it the Dumbfuck on the tv said that she was going to keep the car which of course doubled the pissed-off natural reaction of her fellow gameplayers and 15 minutes later on the show they voted her selfish ass off.

but what was most interesting was, as the gay dude Rafe was sorta whining to Steph the hottie from the previous Survivior who was allowed to come back and is doing really well… he said what me and my date said which was that he would have given the cars to the tribe instead of keeping the one for himself.

i believe he was sincere.

steph though was shocked at this and said no way that she would have kept the car. in part because she had never had a new car before, but who knows, maybe shes a bit selfish.

now i can understand being close to 30 and wanting a new car after never having one before, but with only 5 people left in the game, youre soooo close to winning $1 million. are you really that stupid, politcally, to think that if you give four people cars theyre gonna vote you off a half hour later?

and dont you think that if you do something that cool that if you make it in the final two that you might have just won over the entire jury?

further, you’ve gotta be a pretty badass player to KEEP the car and think that the four people you dissed would still vote for you from the jury.

my lady friend completely agreed with me and since we were stoked at how smart we both were we made out and… fell asleep before the end of the latest episode of the Apprentice ended. so dont tell me what happened.

baldilocks + blog goodies + rockit