i knew i was in trouble when i saw kurt cobain waiting for me at the front door.

hey buddy.

uh, hi, kurt.

i dont really know how to say this to you, so i’ll just come right out and say it. youre dead.

pardon me?

ok, let me put it this way, knock knock.

heh. who’s there?

not you, because you’re dead.

can i ask you a question?


good, am i on acid?

no, youre dead.

how did i die?

i can tell you, but then i’d have to bring you back to life. ahahahahaha. sorry, little joke we tell.

what’s this hole in my chest?

thats where you were stabbed with a knife.

who the hell would stab me?

lots of people. the idiots and the murderous. the reckless and abused. those jealous of your friends. the fathers of the young women youve had. the sisters of the young women youve had. the conservatives who fear that you might go to law school and then run for office. bud selig, coldplay, george bush. or any of the hundreds of criminals you sent to jail with the xbi. and of course the pope and the ghost of the xpope whose grave you pissed on when he died.

you know whats funny, kurt, youd think id be sad, but im not sad.


but i will miss all my friends.

they’ll probably miss you too.

and i love the people of Earth.

theres people of Earth where you’re going.

yeah, but i liked life.

you did? you were always bitching about it. you were never satisfied with any of the girls you got. you were never pleased with where you lived or what you did for a living, or what you looked like, or what you wrote, or who you were. dont bullshit me, bro.

hmmm. i did like chris.

too little, too late, cubfan.

and i liked living on del playa.

youre going to a better place.

i am?





hey i got in and i broke some major rules.

thats right, you killed yourself.

major faux pas, let me tell you.

how did you get in after something like that?


whats that?

Grace of God. thats how everyone gets in.

what if you were super good?

doesnt matter, without the GoG you dont get in.

so, like, mother theresa?

God isnt crazy about the Catholics. little known fact. especially the ones who know better. they disobeyed the very last line in the Bible, “dont add anything to this text or else you will get all the curses written herein on your ass.”

thats not exactly what it says.


damn, kurt, even in your afterlife you’re controversial.

ready to hit the road, pallie?

wow. im really dead?

dead as grunge.

and i have to leave this apartment behind?

you can haunt it if you want, but scaring people becomes dull. it’s pretty easy.

but its sorta messy, i’d hate to leave a mess.

trust me, dude, people are going to make a fortune eBaying your stuff. youve got some great shit here.

yeah somewhere in here i have a ticket stub from your last show in LA.

not anymore,

kurt cobain said and flashed me the stub and tucked it into the breast pocket of his raggedy flannel.

panajane, pictured + amy you are perfect + i had lunch with karisa today + rabbit and crow

The University of Western Ontario Totally Cool

With the Saugeen Stripper! (links to all the pictures below)

There are many reasons why I love Canada – the people are nice, the beer is cold, people love puck, and when i visited there i didnt see one ugly girl.

But the way that Paige and Alex’s school is handling this Saugeen Stripper scandal is unreal. Apparently what happened was some freshmen wanted to celebrate their buddy’s birthday by hiring a stripper, but they realized they had very little cash and they didnt know any strippers.

One of their friends said, no problem bros, theres some girls down the hall who strip on the side.

And sure enough they DID strip on the side and they marched down the hall and did a nice bump and grind for the boys for allegedly $40 (canadian). This was in October and all would have been a fine little tale if it hadnt been for a few dozen pictures that were snapped.

The other day I noticed a traffic bump on one of our users pages on Buzznet and lo and behold were the pictures that I had been emailed (as im sure all of you had been emailed) and i was all, oh thats smart, someone decided to put them on Buzznet. We’re cool with the nude body, good for them this way nobody will have their email boxes filled up or be cursed with potential virus.

But no way did I expect the sort of traffic that avrilrulez.buzznet.com is now getting due to the Toronoto Star story about the Saugeen Stripper below. 25,000 hits! Go Avril! Go Canada. And I must say that I’m proud of our neighbors to the north for handling this in an adult manner.

My only question is, why are the curious only looking at the first two pictures? Those are beautiful young women. Why only check out 2 of the 24 pics? Is it that difficult to keep clicking the photos?

I guess some guys really finish quickly.

Toronto Star

Canadian universities have no business, it seems, in the bedrooms of the campus dorm.

Yet thanks to the Internet, everyone else can take a peek.

The University of Western Ontario is investigating an incident in which a female first-year student performed a full striptease and lap dance last week for several males in a residence bedroom, with graphic photos soon sent out over the Internet.

A Google search on ‘saugeen stripper’ reveals several x-rated photos.

The incident raises questions about how far a university can go in protecting students, particularly younger ones from themselves.

But because the young woman apparently performed willingly in the privacy of a residence room and no one filed a complaint, the school says it likely has no cause for discipline.

“We certainly regret this has happened; it’s not something the university condones and we are very disappointed in these students, but rooms in residence are considered to be students’ homes, and what goes on between consenting adults in the privacy of their homes is considered to be their business,” said Susan Grindrod, Western’s vice-president of housing.

“What’s different in this case is that these pictures are going all over the world. With the Internet and personal blogs, pictures can be circulated very quickly, and I’m not sure how we would regulate students’ blogs and websites even if we wanted to,” said Grindrod.

As soon as the raunchy images came to the attention of the administration, officials approached the young woman to ask if she had been forced to strip or tricked into being photographed without her knowledge. She said she had not.

“We were immediately proactive because we wanted to know if there had been any coercion and she told us she was a consenting participant and she was aware that pictures were being taken,” said Grindrod.

“If there had been any coercion, there absolutely would have been repercussions. We do plan to talk to the other (male) students involved and continue to review the situation. It’s still early in the game for us to have figured out how to proceed.”

University dorms have codes of conduct that forbid students from breaking the law. Many take a zero-tolerance approach to students taking drugs and underage drinking, for example.

Western has a policy that forbids the circulation of “objectionable” material such as racist, homophobic or pornographic images, either written or electronic, with extreme cases leading to the student being asked to leave residence.

Yet most universities warn today’s highly involved baby boomer parents that campus dorm supervisors will not serve as party police or morality monitors for their children, but will enter a student’s room only if there is reason to believe a law is being broken or someone is in danger.

“We’re not the alcohol police and we’re not sex police, and I’m not sure we would want to be,” said Grindrod. “And we recognize that many young people in first year may try out new things that can lead to errors in judgment. I’m not sure some of these misbehaviours haven’t gone on in the past. It’s just that today, the images can get sent around the world.

“I actually feel badly for all the students involved in this incident. It’s a very sad situation.”

the famous Saugeen Stripper + only inevitable + katie