hasnt it felt like 44 years since the last lost?

this weekend coming back from brunch we past this motel that was drying its sheets out in the air.

and i fucked up.

i told her, the only reason that i would marry paris hilton or her sister would be so we could try to buy up as many small motels that we could and make them supercool.

she was upset because apparently last week i told her that i probably am not a monogamous man. ive been successful at it, i allegedly said, but since i didnt think it was a natural activity, i was foolish to attempt it just because lots of other people went for it.

i was all baby, no ones saying theyre gonna marry paris hilton. shes got no titties.

which was another fuckup since babydoll runway model didnt have any titties either.

so as i attempted to hold her hand as i drove i told her that i had heard that motels spend an ungodly amount of money on laundry and water and soap

and i told her about the best western on the 5 outside bakersfield that had one little soap out in the room sink, but had big a soap/shampoo/conditioner dispenser in the shower

which i liked because it saved a lot of soap.

silence.

im not talking to you, she said.

so i turned on my sirius satelite radio to the maxim station and they were discussing the fact that 23% of married couples do not sleep in the same bed.

i held my hand up to her and i said

the only problem with that shower dispenser soap is it made my hands break out

and sometimes the faces these girls make

is awesome.

best + cds + of 2005

kobe scored 45 but he did it so smoothly he made it look like 25.

chris has had season seats for the last five years so its nice to go to the game with him cuz he knows what the hell is going on.

i took the subway for the first time in a very long time. it was quick, easy, and cheap, just like me.

even the transfer at 7th street was sitting there waiting for us and pulled away just as we got there.

the laker girls looked good, the beers were $10, the hustlers sold $5 beanies, everything was perfect except for the fact that we have a rookie center who scored 6 points in 4 minutes but coach phil insisted on playing mihm and kwame instead.

coach phil’s team is on a three game winning streak and last night they did beat the eastern conference powerhouse indiana pacers.

reggie miller was at the game sitting about five seats away from coach phil.

lots of commercials at the game. hadnt really noticed that before. when theres a time out they play a few commercials on the big screen. during halftime they have some games for the fans to compete in but theyre sponsored by big companies whose names get shouted through the PA about every ten seconds.

but the worst commercial is from Chevron who has three little cars that race around the video screens circling the arena. depending on where youre sitting you either miss the first half of the race or the second half. the only good this race/commercial seems to be is to enable you and your buddy to bet on who will win and the loser has to pay for the next round of beers.

the ladies did come out, in droves, sporting miniskirts and kobe jerseys and looking la-liscious. you forget how many hotties there are in this town until you go to the beach, the laker game, or star shoes.

but in a city of eight million there are nine million hot babes which you forget about when youre driving through the woods of the pacific northwest.

i ate a hot dog for dinner and fell asleep watching keith oberman’s countdown.

im gonna die if i keep eating like this.

chishikilauren + ganem + artsysf + don and jen