when in holland, bicyclemark took video of me taking pictures and riding a bike drunk in the dark
and then added the music of juliette lewis.
somehow i just saw it today. so thanks mark!

i know im old when something shows up on Buzznet and gets tons of hits and i dont even know wtf its all about. fortunately we hired a couple of young people to bridge the generation gap for us during times like these.

if you recall, two of the kids told me what bands to see at sxsw, of which i posted on this very blog and promptly ignored en masse. my mistake. im dumb.

but now i come back and i look at the stats of Buzznet and someone started posting all these Snakes On A Plane stuff and i was all, kids, what the hell is Snakes on a Plane and they said why do you ask, and i showed them this on Buzznet and they were all whoa! and they clicked through it and laughed and i laughed and they laughed and everyone laughed.

essentially, Samuel L. Jackson was given a script for a movie that started shooting last year. this movie was simply called, “Snakes On A Plane.”

According to various interviews (not hearsay), Jackson repeatedly emphasizesd that he agreed to do the movie after only reading the title on the cover of the script.

however, after signing on, the studio felt the title was too obvious and changed it to “Pacific Air Flight 121.” Jackson then urged the producers to change it back, that “Snakes On A Plane” was a much better title. not sure if they took his advice, but apparently the kids on the internets have embraced the title as well and have taken to photoshopping not only their own versions of the poster but versions of sequels and spin offs.

thats where the hilarity ensued on the web and recently on Buzznet. heres how it happened:

a few tidbits of information about the movie was found on the profile for the film on IMBD. It was discovered by some mysterious person, using the original ad template for the movie mixed with Photoshop/MSPaint to create alternate titles/sequels to the movie.

That creation spurned boards like the AFI fansite board.despairfaction.com to continue this photoshop-love of the film and the kids literally made 100 new parodies/wordplays of the “Snakes On A Plane” title, using the same template.

most of those found their way onto Buzznet while we were all at sxsw.

Even though the movie is still in post-production there are shirts already. There are entire comics devoted to the subject of not the real film but the photoshopped faux films.

Part of the underground appeal is that Jackson acknowledges the internet fandom/obsession and the grassroots humor of the entire situation.

me, i just like the title.

snakes on a plane – the real trailer + 108 snakes on a plane parody pictures + far more info about the whole shebang than is probably necessary

which means shes officially too old for me. born to mexican refugees just outside of ensenada, liana burrowed her way to america through an abandoned drug tunnel to san diego and sold chicklets to tourists outside sea world until she was six.

once she learned english she was adopted by american diplomats who traveled the world and showed her the ins and outs of politics, classical music, fine wines, and modern art. if you ever want to impress her talk about how the guggenheim isnt what it used to be and how californian wines are overrated.

a graduate of brown and harvard law, liana decided to enter the world of marketing purely to spite her adoptive parents who always said that marketing was for snake oil salesmen and charletons. “if brooke sheilds was giving free blowjobs in the basement of the alamo,” her father used to say, “there would be no need for any market studies or advertising, or viral schemes – the word would get out and there would be a line a mile long.” yes he was an old man who remembered when ms sheilds was hot.

i met liana on my one and only time on j date. neither of us were jewish but we wanted to see what all the hoopla was about and we found each other. she lied about being a gemini and i lied about being ad rock’s cousin. it was lust at first sight but nothing happened as she immediately threw me into the dreaded “friend zone”.

things have a funny way of working out however, for because we werent together she got me a job at her market research company when she found out that i was enjoying an unexpected summer vacation after being let go by e entertainment television. this was a job that i would only have for three months before buzznet picked me up, but it was three of the most wonderful months of my life as the office was filled with incredibly smart young women doing all sorts of interesting assignments, of which liana was the center of.

a purveyor of chocolate, gangsta rap, and mimosas at sunday brunches, liana will be spending her birthday tonight with her family and friends at the chic beverly hills hotel bar whose name escapes me because i still have yet to receive an invite.

maybe its because after all these years i still insist that her eyes are tan which she claims to be an impossibility.

happy 26th birthday la cachita, i will forver be indebted to you for taking me to the kill bill 2 premiere at manns chinese a day before it came out.