the finest lawyer to ever put on a ski cap in court

died today of an apparent brain tumor.

johnny cochrane was sixty eight years old and not nearly respected as he should have been for his defense of oj simpson.

some claimed that it was the jury, or the bungling by the defense, but in this age of CourtTV rarely a trial goes by where any mistake on either side isnt revelaed, but even with so many cooks in the kitchen one can’t find much fault with Cochrane’s defense of the Juice. some say it was perfect.

so to give the best tribute i can, i give you something i posted here last summer

top ten reasons why oj is not guilty

number ten: the columbian necktie.

it was no secret that over the last 6-8 months of her life, Nicole Brown Simpson spent more time with friends like Faye Resnick and others who were involved in the typical LA nightlife scene.

Some of those “friends” included drug dealers and hookers. Those associations, OJ claims was what led to the final 911 calls. He says he faught with Nicole because he didn’t want those type of people around his children.

Most of the stab wounds on both nicole brown and ron goldman were in and around the neck.

“Ms. Simpson’s head then was pulled back, perhaps by her blond hair, as the attacker slashed her throat from left to right. The neck position at the point of the cut can be determined by the fact that no blood flowed into her windpipe.

“The cut was vicious. The knife sliced through both carotid arteries – which provide blood to the brain – nearly cut through one jugular vein and left the second jugular vein dangling by a thread.

The cut was clean.” (USA Today, 10/18/96)

This is very similar to what the defense brought up to being the trademark fatal stab wound that is found on some victims of drug-related crimes. Specifically those where the victim owed money to a drug dealer.

The idea of the Columbian Necktie or Columbian Necklace came up several times in the OJ trial.

Mark Furhman was asked by F. Lee Bailey if he had ever heard of the Columbian Necktie

Q: NO. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A COLOMBIAN NECKLACE?

A: NO.

Q: YOU ARE HEARING THAT WORD FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY?

A: NO. I KNOW WHAT A COLOMBIAN NECKTIE IS.

Q: COLOMBIAN NECKTIE. WHAT IS A COLOMBIAN NECKTIE, DETECTIVE FUHRMAN?

A: CUTTING SOMEBODY’S THROAT.

Q: DID YOU EVER HEAR IT CALLED A NECKLACE?

A: NO.

Q: THAT INCLUDES CUTTING THE THROAT SO SEVERELY THAT BOTH THE CAROTID ARTERIES ARE SEVERED, CORRECT?

A: I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT I JUST HEARD THE TERM.

Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY ARE SEVERED? DO YOU KNOW FROM YOUR TRAINING?

A: WELL, THE PERSON WILL BLEED PROFUSELY AND DIE.

Q: THE BLOOD PRESSURE DROPS TO ZERO AND DEATH OCCURS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY; ISN’T THAT SO?

A: I WOULD ASSUME SO.

Q: IF YOUR THROAT IS CUT THAT SEVERELY WHILE YOU ARE STANDING AND SOMEBODY IS HOLDING YOUR HEAD, YOU WOULD BE DEAD BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND, WOULDN’T YOU?

A: (NO AUDIBLE RESPONSE.)

Q: IF YOU KNOW?

A: I WOULD HAVE TO SPECULATE. I COULDN’T TELL YOU THAT, SIR.

read the rest here

two years ago today i had the weirdest life


woke up with a naked young lady next to me. we hadnt gotten to sleep til 5:30am. didnt say thats when we got to bed thats when we got to sleep. oh yeah. heh.

woke up at 10am cuz her friends wanted her to have breakfast with her and i was all bone appittite. and she was all wsss wsss wsss. i was all huh. she was all do me before i leave and i was all again? and she was like yes, do it any way you want. and i was thinking hmmm. and i said i will but it wont be pretty. and she ripped the mexican blanket from my nude form and said anything you do will be pretty.

and then i did the foulest thing ive ever done to a woman.

well, ive done it before, a few times, but this was worse because a) it was sunday 2) i was talking dirty and pulling her hair and iii) she was talking dirtier and groaning. not moaning. eventually moaning but first groaning.

then we went to jack in the box where they have breakfast all day.

and i thought i have the weirdest life, all this is happening before noon.

then my buddy from the former dot com failure came over to borrow some cable splicers. i was all hows your new dot com and he said awesome. then told me how his stocks are doing. then before he left he was all, oh yeah, hope you kept your options for the former dot com failure, cuz they might go ipo now because theyve been outsourcing their shit offshore in the phillipeans.

i was all uh

he was like, how many options did you have ten thousand, twenty thousand?

i was all fourty five thousand.

he left, but not before saying oops.

and i was all, i have the weirdest life, and its still not noon.

at 11:45am my old buddy aj called to tell me that she has arrived in santa barbara where she will be teaching this quarter at ucsb at our alma matter the college of creative studies and she was drinking coffee outdoors at the sojourner, downtown. and she told me about the class shes teaching and i was all, im so excited for you you dont even know. then i told her how the burger king is now a sushi place and she was all, so great!

then she said how she wanted to renew her radio liscense while shes there and substitute on some shows and i was all thats so great and i meant it i know how crazy new york can be, and to be plopped in santa barabara to teach at the greatest school of all… sheesh.

then she said, yeah so that brings up something that i would like to ask you about, how would you like to be a guest lecturer for when we talk about jim carroll’s the basketball diaries, and i was all

i have the weirdest life.

and then i saw it was noon.