mariahs left nipple and mariahs right nipple.
kidding.
no really today is mariah careys birthday and i dont know how old she is and i dont care, all i know is ive loved her since i first heard her voice and i really loved her when i saw her.
over the years we’ve had our ups n downs. first she married not just a white guy, but a white record exec. then she did the unspeakable – started hanging around puff daddy.
sheesh.
through it all i stayed by her side. i did the same with anna when she started dating that boybander. what is it with these fine bitches picking the absolute worst men to spread their legs for?
jessica simpson with nick, nicole kidman with tom cruise, xtina with jordan, mariah and her cheesy dudes, anna and her unforgiveable ricky martin?
its almost like they know their pussy is too good for the world so might as well just throw it away cuz really who cares?
time has been good to mariah. sure shes gained a few pounds but havent we all? sure she went through a period of going crazy, but again, who hasnt?
does she wear inappropriate clothing? yes, but why would a red blooded man complain about that? is she a bitch and stuck up and cunty? yes, but thats how i like my divas. is she a few six packs short of a case? again yes but the ho can sing and thats all that i look for in my singing sensations.
mariah can sing, she cant fake giving a shit about your problems, she poses as she walks, she rips off pretty much every r&b and pop-hopper out there, but noone can come close to singing like her for the sole exception of xtina but when it comes from her it sometimes sounds like a white girl trying to be black, which, again, is fine with me cuz that little ho can sing too.
im glad mariah made a huge comeback this year. im glad everyone bought her shit. im glad she tore it up at the grammys and im glad she cost all of her former record labels money because it proved once and for all that record labels dont know shit and they cant even handle the #1 top selling female artist of all time so its no wonder they cant handle up n coming superstars like Tsar.
i heart you mariah and i always will i dont care if you grow to 666 lbs, i dont care if every label drops you, just keep wearing those little dresses and singing your ass off because thats all we pay you for. if we wanted someone with manners we’d hang out with our mamas more.
my other favorite entertainer whose birthday is today is mr quentin tarentino who’s Kill Bill Vol 2 is a classic and made up for him saying the N word in Pulp Fiction but if he ever says that word in my presence i will slap him so hard it’ll unbreak that tucan sam nose of his.
hes my boy and i love him and i cant wait to see what else is up his twisted sleeve.