i have too many clothes, i have too many cds, i have too many books, and the hottest chick in minnesota has one too many boyfriends. still we went out last night and had a fancy dinner and drank a bottle of wine and drank at the bar and i asked for the sale and she said sorry charlie i gotta man. i was all, whats your man gotta do with me?

new rule. when i come to your town, its like light in darkness, nobody gets to have any boyfriends. you dont get to start having a boyfriend two days before i arrive, and you dont get to break up with your man a day after i leave.

likewise, no rain is allowed on this trip.

crazy thing is, mother nature understands these rules and shes given me some sprinkles, a little fog, and some chilly temps in the early morn, but thats only because she wants attention. baby i know youre there now get out of the way.

crazy thing about last night was even though my heart was broken, then sliced, then diced, then pureed a little, it wasnt so bad over ice with a twist of lime. and i really dont know why. ive met a few women in my day, you know. and some have had the nerve to reject my advances, and some have been known to frustrate or anger me, but there have been a scant few who just click, almost perfectly. freakishly perfectly.

and some of those rare birds have the bizarre knack of making me feel ridiculously nervous. now there are a few things that the xbi beat out of me during my training period many moons ago and one of those was the ability to be nervous. sometimes i will get emails from very sweet people who call me or my writing fearless but i have to give credit to the undercover superhero group that i was recruited to because they are the ones responsible for whatever it is that makes me not give a shit.

so when there are moments or people or situations where i actually feel this missing sensation i become totally fascinated and will endure anything to stick around to see what the hell is causing this feeling. because this young lady drove us around and because my motel was on the other side of town and because we had been drinking and because the bar was just two blocks from her lakefront home i suggested that i keep my car parked in her driveway and, if possible, i spend the night with her.

she was all but my man might call. and i said tell him the busblog respects commitments and all there will be is sleeping being done, which is tragic but… whatever. when we got into her house her cute little puppy met us at the door and ran to her bed and that fucker stayed there. so there was your hero in the sack of a gorgeous young lady And her dog. i would have cried but it was so funny that we laughed which made the dog wag his lil tail which hit me in the belly which made us laugh some more.

four hours later she got up to go to work and i went to the car and we made plans for tonight to visit the Mall of America and Prince’s driveway, and all those times where i said im the luckiest man in the world, well, luck takes very different forms, my advice is to enjoy them all. and always be a gentleman. cuz anyone can be a dog.

with that said, i’ll be in illinois in two days, everyone needs to get single and the weather needs to turn around in a major way. kthnx