only because i heart mary kate and ashley olsen

did i agree to have lunch with karisa at the urth cafe in west hollywood. apparently the twins like to drink coffee there sometimes.

karisa asked me what she should get her boyfriend for valentines day

i was all, your box in a box! and when you say that youve gotta hold your hands out like jt.

i was eating grilled chicken salad because im gay.

plus if you had a belly like mine is youd eat whatever karisa tells you to.

we drove to this upscale sex store after lunch. she had the day off after working a gazillion hours over the last few weeks. so it was nice to not be rushed during lunch.

the xbis got her running around like crazy to prepare for the grammys or some shit.

somehow i found myself in front of a row of very naughty skirts. they were tiny.

they were so little they shouldnt even get away with being called a skirt it should just be a sk

and at $45, i was thinking about getting into the sk business because you can make 4-5 sks out of three dollars of material.

which is why id sell my sks for $16.66

i was sipping on my lemonade from the urth cafe and some dude was all, no food or drinks in here chief

which was a shame because fuck you too basically.

man cant drink a fucking lemonade at a porn store?

in america?

we left without buying anything and for some reason i left in the best mood.

and an empty cup.