via Metafilter, king of beers.

back when i was younger and we would drop acid and hike in the woods we’d get tired of running around and being scared and being happy and being detectives we’d end up just looking at the fire.

and one night someone said, tony do you ever wish you were white cuz sometimes i wish i was black.

and i said no ive never wanted to be white ever. but i have wanted to be taller.

cubs lost a tough game yesterday and its midnight thirty. i have a date tomorrow to eat pie with a nice girl.

i told her lets get a pie and try to eat it all.

she said how about a big cupcake. or two.

i said lets eat the pie then eat cupcakes.

she said then vomit?

i said, lets vomit of course but lets take pictures and put them on the web and see if people can guess which one is from the hot chick and which one is from the old man

i think im gonna shave off my beard tonight. it was hot today. the beard was a great idea when it was cold but now that the sun is out. fuckit.

people stay away from me as im walking down the street though. sorta like that.

dog poop status. its still there.

dear neighbors. youre so not being cool.