but i doubt it.

all day all i do is answer email. very similar to my job at e! where i handled hundreds of emails a day, all i do is get offers from people (writers, bands, producers, publicists, scammers, authors, photographers, everyone) and most of the time all i wanna say is hell no.

sometimes i will see something terrific, if not perfect, and i will say yes. but because the world tries to compete with me in being weird it will say oh you are saying yes, well what we really mean is no we’re not into giving you what we said. we dont really want your attention.

girls are no different.

theres nothing i like better than catholic girl skirts on dark haired girls. other day just my sort of girl showed up wearing a catholic skirt and i was all this girl has read my books, but no, as soon as we started driving and i put my hand on her leg she was all excuse me?

and i was like, sorry your totally exposed legs seemed cold.

and lonely

and oh so sad.

tonight i was invited to an mtv wrap party. i wanted to go and now i dont.

last night i was in this same seat thinking the same thing about the arcade fire. the thought being i dont wanna go.

knowing full well that i would love going whereever it was that i need to be at.

and it would be good for my job.

my arcade fire review and video and pics got linked by lots of places including the arcade fire fan club site. so clearly going last night was the right thing to do. and what idiots job includes having fun and meeting cool people and talking about fun things like music blogging and la. with beautiful girls.

i lost my mind a long time ago when i sold all my things in frisco and broke up with the girl of my dreams. this girl had bazooms for ba-days. and you can say oh well im an ass man but you could not be into soft serve ice cream lets say, but if the best soft serve ice cream machine all of a sudden got installed in your kitchen and bedroom and bathroom and stairs and passenger side you might develop an appreciation, lets say.

i dont know how cobrasnake does it. hes out every night. i know how he does it, hes a teenager. sometimes i think damn if i had this job twenty years ago i could totally do this. but the truth is if i had this job twenty years ago id be making all the mistakes that the kids are making today: drinking too much, drugging too much, being dumb.

im taking the subway cuz its a free bar

yesterday i thought about my first california girlfriend michele cuz the accordian player drummer keyboardist hurdy gurdy chick of arcade fire looks exactly like her.