dont let college girls over who arent drunk dont drink are just in town for the holidays and arent sure if they love their boyfriends WHO DONT EVEN GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS THEY DO

they might look super cute in their sweat shirts and sassy barrettes, they might kiss great and smell great and be super gentle when you least expect it

but they will keep you up till 5:39am playing the game of

letsadjourntothebedroom

no

comeonwhathappensintherestaysinthere

ha

youknowhedoesntwantyou

Yes He DOES! OMG!

thenwhyisnthehere?

etc

ladies. rule number one of college is break up with Everyone – your high school true love your college true love your future ex husband EVERYONE

college is to learn three things

how to drink, how to fuck, and how to deal with red tape.

art history and essay writing can be taught in a week. everything else really does need years to develop so quit fucking around with your juvenile concepts of “love”.

genius poets, philosophers, bob dylan, sculpters, even Dr Phil have agonized for most of their lives trying to master the essence of love and you – without one single wrinkle on you – think you have found THE ONE at 20 yrs old – or even know what love is?

love?

you dont even know the physics of a curveball and you think you can talk about love?

take off your shirt for pete sake and turn on the christmas lights.

just because somebody gets your thong wet when you think of him doesnt mean its love baby, trust me. i minored in wet thongs in college.

have a boyfriend in high school, have one when youre in grad school. college is the absolute WORST time to be attached.

plus why are you making out with tony pierce if you wanna talk about your bf all night? clearly your man is no tony pierce.

sometimes i wonder if the Devil sends his sexy demonettes up here to keep me from blogging.

well jokes on you fucker cuz lookie here, ITS A POST!

photo via Turkey Day 2000 when chickie was still in junior high. HA!

turkey day 2001 if youre cool with nsfw shit.