monday morning links of love and interest

– monster squad better get it together cuz fil took some pics of a band thats already stealing Wolfie’s look

– did you know ken layne is writing for AOL? i didnt.

– did you know that Mass Live gave me props for my Prince coverage at Coachella? thanks kristen!

– people always ask me what they should do while in Orange County. usually i say drown yourself. now i can say, go on a Fish Taco Crawl, then drown yrself.

– things you will only find in a Floridian legislation session roundup. apparently the term is over over there and this is where some things stand via Tampa Bay Online:

Also Of Interest

Bestiality: Still legal in Florida

State Song: “Old Folks at Home,” also known as “Swanee River,” will be changed to leave out racially offensive lyrics. A second song, “Florida – Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky,” submitted by a music teacher for a statewide contest, will become the state anthem.

Vehicle, um, decorations: Carry on with the popular pickup accoutrement: so-called Truck Nutz. The anatomically correct accessories, modeled after bull testicles, were outlawed by the Senate but had immunity in the House, so no $60 fine after all.

– who knew No Age had such a great blog?

– the grates are almost done recording. for some reason that makes me sad. i loved their blog while they were in the studio.

– mentos + diet coke + super slow motion + 2001 music = nerd porn

– myspace founder’s hollywood hills home robbed. maybe he should let some of his “friends” keep an eye on the place next time?

a week ago today i was still in palm springs

last monday morning suzie and i were dancing to the impromptu tunes of Wallpaper, whose album T-Rex totally fooled me when i first got it, cuz i thought it was a T-Rex greatest hits. little did i know that they would provide a very cool post-coachella dance party in the parking lot.

yesterday i had the weirdest day. got a phone call from a woman. a real woman, not any of these “girls” that usually pop in and out of my life. apparently she was curious whether i really felt the way i did about suzie. i was all, baby, i dont know how i really feel about suzie. shes just rad and we had a special energy flowing between us that made me feel happy.

the woman was all, how do you know it was special.

i said, some babes make me feel nervous, and thats sorta exciting. some make me feel powerful and thats nice. some make me feel smart or dumb or ugly or handsome. suzie made me feel loving. and i dont know why. and it was interesting to explore that.

so the woman invited me over. she wanted to cook me dinner. i didnt want any dinner. especially at her house. a real house. some people go through life and think that if they look a certain way after a while or have achieved a certain amount of things or have established themselves then theyve got the perfect man trap. maybe it is the perfect man trap for some men, but im a weirdo, i respond way better to bizarre energies.

she said, how about i make you something and come over to your house.

i said, as long as you dont judge my apartment and offer to clean it or bitch about not having any wash cloths or vegetables in the fridge or

and she said dont worry, you’ll like what im bringing over.

food was good, her outfit was good, but her energy was not so good. she had an agenda. she wanted something from me. who knows what. who knows if i even had what she wanted. all i wanted was to try to watch the cubs game on espn. then i wanted to watch the sharks game on Versus.

she was all, how can you be mr electronics and not know where Versus is on your cable? i was like, first off just cuz you have some decent av equipment doesnt mean you know where every channel is on the SATELITE system. fuck cable. plus you insulting me isnt hot and if you think im gonna do stuff to you off that youre high.

she was high, which was also annoying. everything about her was annoying. i know whaaaa hot babe comes over with food and a bottle of wine and its not good enough. but you know what, sometimes its not. sometimes a man just wants to be alone with his playoff triple overtime hockey and his memories of coachella and doesnt need some desperate quasicougar sniffing around cuz she wants to see ironman but will settle for oh i dont know Anything.

one thing i do know. no matter how many glasses of wine she dumped down my throat, she would never look like either of these babes dancing in the parking lot. and all i can say is i guess i know what i want and what i want doesnt treat me like their son.

tom waits announces summer tour

with the best press conference ever

“say hello to your mother” should be on the tshirt, if you ask me.

my only problem is, id love to go to the phoenix show that kicks off the tour except its on a tuesday and im going to be taking a few days off (if its approved by my boss) in early june.

and it appears that there are very few weekend shows on the tour, meaning a man cant even fly out to a show unless he wants to go to houston.

and no one wants to fly to houston.

first leg of the tour via stereogum (who oddly has no mention of their parent company buzznet anywhere on their site):

06/17 – Phoenix, AZ @ Orpheum
06/18 – Phoenix, AZ @ Orpheum
06/20 – El Paso, TX @ Plaza
06/22 – Houston, TX @ Jones Hall
06/23 – Dallas, TX @ Palladium
06/25 – Tulsa, OK @ Brady Theatre
06/26 – St. Louis, MO @ Fox Theatre
06/28 – Columbus, OH @ Ohio Theatre
06/29 – Knoxville, TN @ Civic Theatre
07/01 – Jacksonville, FL @ Moran Theatre
07/02 – Mobile, AL @ Saenger Theatre
07/03 – Birmingham, AL @ Alabama Theatre
07/05 – Atlanta, GA @ Fox Theatre