wish i did. but maybe im too dumb.
if something terrible happens to me tonight while i sleep. or tomorrow
while i rock. if someone crashes into my house with a tank
or with a mess of bricks in a sock and pounds me.
ive lived. ive loved. and ive been loved.
i had some of the best girlfriends of all.
i asked each of them to marry me. some repeatedly.
and we all know why the lord hardened their hearts.
and so their lives wouldnt be ruined.
and so i would become a blogrrr. (what joy)
when my truest and i were together i stopped writing entirely.
i had little websites that were mostly pictures and sports and everything dumb.
boringness ontop of dullness sprinkled with shit
because all shed have to do was walk into the room
or do the worm in the kitchen
or take a piss in the quiet of the middle of the night
and id sigh.
loudly so shed hear.
shed crawl back in bed and id say
even the way you flushed was hot,
lets do it.
id take pics when she slept
id take pics when she ate
id take pics when shed say quit taking pics.
i would have never believed in love or true loves or hidden angels
let alone soul mates if it werent for her.
i would have never believed what
real
was if it wasnt for san francisco and the midtown bar
and the dominatrix bartender who poured whatever magic was in that anchor steam that night
the night my truest said ok so is that it between us
and i said pretty much
and she said bs.
she said we’ve only just begun. or maybe that was the carpenters.
either way all the demons in my head that said shes too tall shes too bosomey
shes too sweet shes shiras bff she wears worse clothes than you
shes not the punk rock teen that you think you want
got drunk and shut up and i tooker back to the elegant victorian flat
and that was that for six years straight.
give or take.
christine rene is back from africa
where she saved the world.
im gonna see her in oregon on friday. cuz a week from todays her bday.
i think her parents are gonna let us share a bedroom together.
not sure. but if they dont im gonna sneak into her bedroom.
and im gonna whisper things like this:
and this:
and when shes least expecting it, a little of this shit:
im gonna asker what she learned in africa in regards to esp
mind control, soft breathing
and letting the sexiestness of ones soul float from ones brown eyes
over into the others blue eyes.
and perhaps leak out that ass.
which is why the hand has to cover it up.
like so.
so…
