but i wanna get her a new iPhone

shes all, no you should have the new one, i just want yours cuz i know it works.
im like, no no, the new ones only cost $199, so its not a big deal for me to get you a new one and i dont know if its a lot of effort to transfer phone numbers over and all that.

plus, i said, you dont want my porn.

my mom was all, yeah, i dont want that.

little does she know you cant store porn in an iphone… easily.

the truth of the matter is my lovely mother has a hard time accepting gifts. shes great in giving gifts. she will make you toilet paper cozies. she will go to Kohl’s and buy you a silk shirt. back in college when i needed her to write me a check to help me pay the rent, no prob. but teller you want to buy her a little phone so she can enter the modern world – drama.

funny, really. and i guess i have the same problem with receiving. it’s hard.

when i was a lad i went to this day camp in the woods. it was a church run camp. they had all these brothers running the place. thank God they didnt touch us because they could have cuz it was in the woods and most of the kids were poor and black so who would have believe us.

anyways in one of the bible study classes one of the brothers asked us if we believed in Heaven. almost all of us raised our hands. but we were dumb kids taking bible study instead of playing basketball. clearly there was something wrong with us. but the brother said, thats good but a lot of people in the real world Don’t believe in Paradise. in fact only 1/3 believe in Jesus – who is the epitome of Heaven.

a kid asked why that was.

and the brother said, because people have a very hard time accepting Good, therefore accepting God is nearly impossible.

later that day i saw a 10 year old kid slam dunk. it was a pretty magical camp.